


Devil's Advocate

by TheLiveshipParagon



Category: Daredevil (Comics), Daredevil (TV), Marvel, The Defenders (Marvel TV), The Punisher (TV 2017)
Genre: Angst, Boss/Employee Relationship, Chivalry, Co-workers, Daredevil (TV) Spoilers, Drama, Drinking, Emotional Roller Coaster, F/M, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Gentleman Matt Murdock, Hostage Situations, Human Disaster Matt Murdock, Josie's bar, Lawyers, Matt Murdock & Foggy Nelson Friendship, Matt Murdock Angst, Matt Murdock Needs a Hug, Nelson & Murdock, Office Romance, Possessive Matt, Professional boundaries, Reader-Insert, Rivalry, Slow Burn, Workplace Relationship, unrequited feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-11
Updated: 2019-04-19
Packaged: 2019-07-11 02:03:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 43,607
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15962345
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheLiveshipParagon/pseuds/TheLiveshipParagon
Summary: Request: (Anon)  If you’re still accepting requests I would love anything with Matt Murdock. Maybe something soft and fluffy after all the terrible things he has to deal with on a daily basis.You're a rival lawyer who loses a vital case to Nelson & Murdock. Matt shows you a kindness you couldn't have expected.





	1. Opening Statement

**Author's Note:**

> This may not be exactly what you were after, anon requester, but I’ve had this idea for a Matt Murdock fic that ties into the fluffy aspect for while! Hope you enjoy!
> 
> (May be proof reading errors)
> 
> \- TLP xx

“Is this really necessary, your honour?” you sigh.

“I’ll allow it,” the judge concedes.

Matt Murdock stepped forward very confidently for a blind man before turning to his client. You still had no idea how he managed to look right at them sometimes.

“Did you or did you not confess under duress due to police brutality, rendering the confession inadmissible?”

“Objection, speculation,” you frown. “This was a lawful arrest.”

“Adjourned. This trial will adjourn until the body worn footage can be viewed,” the judge rules.

Well goddamn. This wasn’t going your way at all. You had a sneaking suspicion that Murdock was right given the sheer amounting of beatings you’d already seen in your short career and the bruises decorating the defendant.

You gather your papers before walking out into the hall, the feeling of impending disappointment looming. You always knew when you were on a losing case and this was definitely one of them.

“What in the shit was that?” your boss hisses as he finds you. “This case is getting media attention.  _Media_  attention and you’re fucking it up. I thought you knew what the fuck you were doing but clearly not. I’m getting you an earpiece and you’re gonna say exactly what I do when trial reconvenes.”

You balk, “No Sir I am  _not_. I will not resort to cheap tricks like this just to get a win. It’s dishonest.”

“ _It’s dishonest_ ,” he mocks you. “The Mandelson law firm has a reputation and I’ll be damned if that’s ruined by you because some disabled asshole is more charming than you.”

“I’m not doing it,” you say firmly, getting in his face like he was doing to you. “I don’t care. If I win, I win this my way, not through dirty tactics.”

Your boss points his finger in your face, turning red with anger, “You’re done after this case. Do you hear me? You’re done. You won’t ever practice law again in Hell’s Kitchen.”

“Fine,” you smack his hand out of the way. “I’ll take that risk.”

“Fucking amateur,” he spits before stalking out of the courthouse.

You let out a breath you didn’t know you’d been holding before leaning back against the marble wall. You’d totally just sabotaged your career but it was the right thing to do. You’d not lost your soul for profit.

“That was admirable,” comes that smooth voice and you turn to see Matt Murdock leaning against the wall a little further down. “Never seen anyone talk to Greg Mandelson like that.”

“I’ve just bought myself a ticket to homelessness,” you groan, rubbing your hands down your face. “God I’m an idiot.”

“You’re not an idiot,” he smiles charmingly. “You’re a woman of principles. That’s pretty rare in our profession, especially given your length of service.”

“It’s a bad day when the defense is giving me praise,” you laugh bitterly.

“Hey, it’s not all bad,” he leans up off the wall and comes over and you see he has two coffees. “Free coffee is always nice right?”

“Oh,” you blink. “Thank you. That’s very kind.”

“Least I can do,” Matt grins. “No sugar, splash of vanilla?”

“How did you-”

“Being blind has its perks sometimes,” he says enigmatically.

“Thank you,” you say more genuinely this time. “Hey, you got any jobs going by any chance? Think I might need one soon.”

“Yeah, I think we might,” he holds out his hand and you shake it, surprised to find callouses on his palms and scar tissue on his knuckles. “Can’t promise the pay will be stellar though.”

“As long as it pays the rent I don’t give a damn,” you laugh.

“Oh it’ll do that alright but not much else so you’ll have to give those wild lawyer parties a miss,” he chuckles.

“Do I seem the type to party hard?” you say with a degree of sarcasm.

“You seem the type….” he pauses, as if assessing you. “To go home and drink cocoa whilst reading or watching television…maybe cooking programmes? No……you like horror films, don’t you?”

“Wow, am I so readable that even a blind man can figure me out?” you start laughing.

“I’m just that good,” Matt beams and you get a pang of attraction at his dazzling smile.

“I watch horror films because it helps me figure out the horrors I see every day,” you admit. “Like some sort of therapy escapism.”

“Maybe I should look into that,” Matt sighs. “Shame I can’t see what happens in movies.”

The words kind of tumbled out of your mouth without meaning to. Matt Murdock had already broken through your professional exterior in a bad way.

“Maybe sometime I can just shut the sound off and describe one to you?”

You see him stiffen in surprise and your heart starts hammering a little bit. You’re definitely overstepping your boundaries here.

“I’d like that,” he nods graciously. “See you tomorrow.”

He never made you feel like you’d made a mistake, never reacted badly and was courteous til the end. You wished your current employers had half of the natural leadership that Matt Murdock did.

“Shit,” you sigh, gathering yourself together before going home for the day.

  
  


  
  


**

  
  


  
  


The next day you lost the case and got a very public firing. You didn’t care though. It was the right thing to do in the end and you lost on your own merit.

You still couldn’t stop the sheer emotion though that bubbled up at the thought of having no income and being humiliated in front of the press like that. You locked yourself in the unisex toilet, just letting it out, your tears marring the carefully prepared make-up.

A knock startles you.

“Hey, are you alright?” you hear Matt call through the door.

“Fine,” you call back in a wavering voice.

“Liar.”

You can’t help but laugh, “Alright I’m  _not_ fine.”

“Your boss is an asshole,” Matt continues to talk to you. “Men like that…they make me incredibly mad.”

“It’s all about the power play,” you agree.

“Want me to trip him up with my cane?” he offers.

“I think that would make me just as bad,” you smile before wiping your face free of tears and opening the door. “Thank you though. Probably the nicest thing any one has ever offered to do for me since I moved here.”

“Hell’s Kitchen isn’t known for its kindness,” Matt grimaces. “Will you be alright getting home?”

“Yeah, yeah I should be. I’m feeling a lot better,” you say earnestly. “Congratulations by the way.”

“You gave me a good run,” Matt’s hand comes up to hover near your shoulder before he finds it and pats it lightly. “I particularly liked your research into his medical history about his propensity to easily bruise. That was quite next level.”

“Well I tried,” you shrug. “Gave it my best shot.”

Matt’s grip tightens a little on your shoulder, “Come work for me.”

You try and decipher his expression that’s hidden behind his opaque red glasses.

“Usually this is the part where you answer,” he smirks.

“Do you have to wear those glasses?” you blurt out. “Sorry that was really rude of me…”

“Oh not at all,” he chuckles. “I only wear them because I can make people unsettled if they look at me.

He takes them off and you’re greeted by the most soft and plaintiff brown eyes that stare slightly to the left of you. That pang of attraction intensified a little but you brushed it off. Checking out your new potential boss wasn’t a done thing.

“I don’t know why people are unsettled,” you say firmly. “It’s nice to see more of your expression.”

His eyes drop shyly and the sight is endearing. You made up your mind right there.

“When do I start?” you ask.

He smiles sweetly, “Tomorrow morning.”

“Then I shall see you tomorrow, Mr Murdock.”

“Please, call me Matt,” he nods before passing you a business card with the address on it. “And if it sweetens the deal any more, Foggy’s bringing donuts tomorrow.”

“Oh well in that case I’ll be there bright and early,” you laugh. “See you tomorrow Matt.”

“Looking forward to it.”


	2. Cross Examination

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You start your first day at Nelson & Murdock

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter warnings: Minor violence  
> Based on anon request on my tumblr: theliveshipparagon  
> Happy reading!  
> \- TLP xx

Walking up to the sign you felt something of apprehension.

> **Nelson & Murdock**  
>  **Attorneys at Law**

This was a change you didn’t expect and as you walked up the typical New York narrow staircase, you had to take a deep breath. Your whole life had flipped on its head in just one day and now you were going to be working for virtual nobodies in the law community.

You rapped smartly on the door, briefcase in hand and it was opened by a shy looking woman with strawberry blonde hair.

“Hello? Can I help you?” she puts on a fake air of confidence, obviously not used to the interaction.

“I’m your new associate,” you hold out your hand. “Did Matt mention…”

“Oh yes!” she exclaims, shaking your hand and waving you in. “God I’m sorry, I didn’t know what time to expect you. I’m Karen.”

“Is the new girl here?!” a male voice you recognise to be Matt’s partner Foggy comes from one of the offices.

“Yeah she’s here,” Karen calls. “Now don’t scare her off.”

Foggy pokes his head around the corner, hair flopping over his face in unruly strands, “Would I do that? Would I? Hmm? Besides, I have donuts!”

“And I already want to stay,” you laugh.

“You’re early,” Matt smiles at you from the other office doorway.

“Well I like to make an impression,” you counter turning to see him leaning on the frame.

“Oh I think you did that just fine at the courthouse,” Matt chuckles. “No need for an interview even for this job.”

“Donut, my fair lady?” Foggy waves his hand dramatically over the box and you select one.

“Dessert for breakfast, you guys are my kinda people,” you smirk.

“I like her,” Foggy grins. “Soooooo, tell me about yourself. Matt knows you but Karen and I don’t.”

“Well up until yesterday I was working for the Mandelson firm. Been doing this line of work for about…three years? I specialise in murder and serious sexual offences trials.”

“No I mean like, what’s your name and do you like funk music?” Foggy says with genuine interest.

“Oh,” you stammer, realising you’ve just gone full professional mode when clearly this was a more relaxed kind of working environment.

“You know what? I’ll just call you Ace because you’re the new ace up our sleeves and you’re sure ace at your job!” Foggy declares with a grand gesture.

Karen puts a sympathetic hand on your shoulder, “You don’t have to listen to him you know. I don’t.”

“Hey!” Foggy protests.

“Never had a nickname before,” you say a little shyly. “Then again I didn’t really have time to socialise when I moved here.”

“Well now you’ve got friends,” Foggy beams at you. “Who says your bosses have to be assholes, huh?”

“And Greg Mandelson was one of the biggest assholes going,” Matt nods grimly.

“So,  _Ace_ ,” Foggy tries out. “Do you actually like funk music?”

You spot Matt out of the corner of your eye just sighing.

 

**

 

Your first day was an eye opener.

Whereas you were used to the sterile and borderline hostile environment of the Mandelson firm, Nelson and Murdock was infinitely more relaxed and you were actually cracking jokes across the main office.

They didn’t get many clients, in fact only one turned up the whole day but when they did, you saw the change in both Matt and Foggy as they listened with abject expertise, their demeanour more like what you saw of Matt in the courtroom.

This was a place you could get used to working. Sure the salary discussed was only just liveable but you were already feeling less stressed and you’d actually enjoyed your day.

“Same time tomorrow!” Foggy calls, taking Karen outside where he was walking her home.

“Bye!” you call after him, repacking your briefcase.

“Live far?” Matt asks cordially.

“A few blocks away,” you answer. “Not bad really. Nice to not take the subway.”

“I hate the subway,” Matt wrinkles his nose.

“Oh I bet,” you nod, although you know he can’t see you. “Crowded, noisy, too many smells, too much polluted air.”

“And if  _you_  think that imagine how it is for me,” Matt sighs. “It’s quite dark outside, sure you’ll be okay walking home? Pretty dangerous neighbourhood.”

“Yeah, never encountered any problems so far but thank you,” you say, putting your coat on.

“I’d feel better if I at least walked you to West 44th Street,” Matt grabs his cane. “For my own peace of mind.”

“Are all bosses like you?” you laugh. “I feel like I’ve been severely mistreated before.”

“You have,” Matt ushers you out of the door before locking it behind him. “Your talents were wasted at that firm. I think you’ll do very well here.”

“Thank you,” you say genuinely before descending the stairs with him, keeping your pace to match his.

“And to answer your silent question, no I don’t just walk any one home,” he smirks.

“Oh I….I was more wondering if  _you_  lived close by,” you bluster.

“Huh,” Matt muses. “I don’t normally get stuff like that wrong. I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine, I’m kinda fascinated how you do that anyway,” you hold the front door open for him.

“Other senses come into play when you can’t see and I could hear you almost stop and start your sentence a few times,” he shrugs. “Nothing fanciful, I’m not psychic.”

“Oh good, I can keep my ‘what am I gonna have for dinner’ thoughts private,” you joke.

He laughs honestly and you really enjoy the sound. The more you’re around Matt Murdock the more you want to see him smile for some reason.

“Just keep them PG and we’re all good,” he grins before extending his cane out onto the street.

“No promises,” you mutter under your breath, certain he won’t hear in the rush of the evening traffic.

He offers you the crook of his arm and you walk with him, casually swapping stories of your university days. It’s nice and it really strengthens your burgeoning friendship.

You’re at the corner of West 44th Street and you don’t really want to stop your conversation but you feel it would be overstepping your boundaries to ask him for a coffee to extend your time together.

“Well, this is where I leave you,” Matt taps your hand and you unlink your elbow from his.

“Thanks for walking with me,” you smile.

“Any time. You’re good company,” he flashes you his million watt grin. “See you tomorrow…Ace.”

“See you tomorrow, Matt,” you laugh, going to pat him on the arm but his hand rises, presumably to wave and you end up almost holding hands. “Oh god, I’m sorry. I always was a klutz.”

“It’s fine,” he chuckles. “I miscalculated. Bye for now.”

“Bye,” your face burns with embarrassment before you hurriedly walk back to your apartment.

 

**

 

The next morning it’s dark when you go to work, winter clinging on firmly to the chilled streets.

You wind your way down the shortcuts and just enjoy the relative silence of 8am on a Saturday. No beeping cars, no crush of people, just bliss.

You’re so engrossed in the music blasting through your earphones you have no inkling of the rapidly gaining footsteps behind you. It’s not until you feel the minor tug of your laptop case that you turn around to see a hooded figure that’s trying to cut the straps off.

“Hey! What are you doing?!” you end up blurting out, rather than trying to run away or call for help.

“Shhhh little lady, just gimme the bag and I’ll go away,” he speaks from under the hood, knife twirling in his hand. “Otherwise I’m gonna have to stick  ya and I don’t really wanna stick a pretty little thing like you.”

You didn’t know what to do. It was dark, you were in an alleyway away from the main street like a total idiot and you were just frozen.

“Come on now,” the mugger coos, trying to coax the bag off your shoulder. “I’ll be nice if you’re nice.”

“I don’t think mugging a lone female is nice somehow,” you parrot back.

You can’t see his eyes but his mouth sets into a hard line and you’re regretting your choice of words.  He had a firmer grip on the knife now and was angling it to strike.

You finally get that burst of energy and turn on your heels, running towards the entrance of the alleyway and you can hear him in close tandem behind you.

“Get back here ya fuckin’ bitch!” comes the guttural growl. “Ya don’t walk away from me!”

He catches up, grabbing your hair and yanking you back so you slide across the unforgiving ground, scuffing your hands.

You manage to get one punch in, stunning him slightly before he slams your head on the concrete and you start hearing your own blood echoing in your ear.

“HEL-” you start but his dirty hand presses down over your mouth, muffling the cries.

“Shut the fuck up!” he hisses, yanking your bag off and throwing it over his own shoulder. “Ya coulda been real sweet just walkin’ on there and now you gone pissed me off, lady. Think I should teach ya manners.”

“You mean like, 'Don’t hit a woman’?'” comes a voice that you recognise and as the mugger turns, you see Matt standing a few feet away from you.

“Fuck off, blindie,” the guy snarls. “Ain’t ya business.”

“Well, that’s my employee. It  _is_  my business. Literally,” Matt says in a very level voice.

“I ain’t gonna say it again. Fuck. Off,” the guy stands up and prowls towards Matt who doesn’t even make a move.

You just quietly rise to your feet, hoping Matt keeps him distracted for a while whilst you pick up a nearby discarded rebar and sneak forward.

“And I’m not going to repeat myself. Give her back her things and go,” Matt says firmly.

You get to a sufficient point and give an almighty swing, cracking the guy around the back with the bar where he falls forward into Matt and….

Well holy shit.

Matt deftly tosses him into the air and over his shoulder, plucking your bag free whilst the mugger was mid arc. The mugger attempts one last charge but Matt dodges the punch, jamming the end of his cane into the guy’s stomach and then bringing it harshly down on the back of his neck so the guy collapses in a heap.

You just stand there in complete awe. He’d just taken down the guy better than a seeing man could have. You had no idea how he even sensed when to duck.

“Are you okay?” Matt seems to cock his head, listening for you.

“Yes, just….how did you find me?!”

“You’re nearly at West 44th,” Matt points out. “I was waiting for you when I heard you scream.”

“Did I scream?” you wondered.

“To me it was like screaming,” he clarifies. “Come on, I’ll get you to the firm.

As you walked with him, bruised and slightly bloodied, you got the sense there was much more to Matt Murdock than met the eye. It was a mystery you intended to get to the bottom of though.


	3. Prosecution Case-In-Chief

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Matt, Foggy and Karen take care of you in the aftermath of your mugging and you learn some more about your new colleagues.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back on track with fics now so here's some slow burn and minor fluff!  
> Enjoy!  
> \- TLP xx  
> (May be proof reading errors)  
> Edit note: When your autocorrect changes Foggy to Fozzy.....

You found it embarrassing being led confidently up the stairs of Franklin & Nelson by a blind man but Matt didn’t seem to think any of it, gallantly hoisting you up the tricky cracked step at the top.

“Nearly there and then I can patch you up,” he smiles warmly at you.

“You know first aid?” you say surprised.

“I’m not just a pretty face, you know,” he grins and you blush like mad. “You’re sweet.”

“What do you mean?” you cough.

“You’re shy,” he says knowingly. “It’s sweet. You don’t see many good natured people in Hell’s Kitchen these days.”

“How can you even tell?” you’re bewildered.

“Your palm just got warmer,” he nods and you realise you’ve ended up holding hands with him.

“Oh god, I’m sorry. You must think that’s so inappropriate,” you babble, pulling away.

“It’s fine,” he reassures you. “You’ve got very soft hands by the way. It’s…nice.”

It was only a remark on your hands but you felt like it was the best compliment in the world. There was something just so calming about being in his presence that everything felt just…happy.

“Thank you,” you laugh softly. “Have you been holding hands with some builders lately then?”

“Oh yeah,” Matt jokes. “With all that building work I do outside of my job.”

“Hey can I ask you something?” you start.

“You wanna know how I can fight,” he sighs.

“I’m sorry if that’s too personal,” you interject. “It’s just….I was really grateful and you moved so well and-”

“You’re digging yourself a hole here,” he laughs genially. “It’s okay to ask. I don’t mind. My dad….he was a boxer and-”

He never gets to finish the sentence because Karen opens the door.

“I heard voices and…oh my god! Are you okay?!” she spots your scuffed up hands and rumpled hair.

“She got jumped on the way here,” Matt answers for you, placing a protective hand behind your back.

You see a minute flare of disappointment on Karen’s face before she rearranges it into something more comforting as she takes your other hand and leads you into the office. You think maybe you’d interrupted something between her and Matt to have that kind of reaction so you make a mental note to step back. You didn’t want to step on anyone’s toes and you really should be more professional.

“Holy…” Foggy’s eyes widen as he sees you and all of that goofy demeanour completely slips away as he seems to go into protective mode. “Sit down, I’ll fetch some water.”

Having two men fawn over you whilst Karen made you cocoa felt quite good. Matt was indeed an expert at patching you up and you just added it to his long long talent list. Foggy was also incredibly chivalrous about making you feel safe.

“I’m okay guys, really,” you say after it all gets a bit much. “I gave as good as I got.”

“She sure did,” Matt smiles. “Where did  _you_  learn that?”

“Not the first time I’ve been attacked,” you admit. “That’s why I froze up to start with but I wasn’t going to let him hurt you…well at least until I saw you could take care of yourself.”

“You’ve been attacked before?” Karen says gently, crooking an arm around your shoulder.

“I used to live in Quincy and I got mugged coming home from university one day,” you recount. “He beat me very badly, all to get the ten bucks I had in my purse. I still have some scars from it….”

You shut your eyes as the memory floods back and your knife wound subconsciously starts itching, even all these years later.

You’re broken out of it by Matt gently stroking your shoulder.

“I’m sorry, I zoned out,” you apologise.

“Don’t ever be sorry. It was a horrible thing you survived,” he says firmly.

“Actually it inspired me to finish my degree,” you smile. “I was gonna drop out of law but now here I am.”

“That’s so awesome,” Foggy grins widely at you. “But I’m really sorry you experienced more violence here.”

“Violence is everywhere,” you shrug. “We just pick up the pieces afterwards and try and steer justice in the right direction.”

“Spoken like a true lawyer!” Foggy declares ostentatiously.

“And with this,” Matt declares, laying a bright pink band-aid across a scrape on your forehead. “You’re all patched up.”

“Thank you,” you say gratefully. “Thanks everyone.”

“Maybe you should do some paperwork with Karen today,” Foggy suggests. “Take it easy?”

“Sure,” you nod. “I doubt any client will want to sign up here if they see me all unpretty like this.”

“I actually think the pink band-aid works for you,” Foggy snorts before getting up from the table and collecting some files.

“Come on,” Karen helps you up. “It’s not glamorous but it’s honest.”

You spend that day just doing relaxing work. In truth, if you were still at your old firm, you never would’ve coped with today but with such supportive colleagues around you, you actually ended up forgetting about the experiences of the morning.

 

**

 

“I’ll walk you home,” Matt says when it’s closing time.

“You really don’t have-”

“I do,” Matt says firmly. “I want to.”

“Well okay then but we’re gonna go past a really good burger joint so I hope you’re not too hungry because I’m always ravenous after I walk by it,” you try to lighten the mood.

“Then I might have to buy a burger,” he smirks. “But I’m still taking you home.”

You don’t argue the point and simply put your coat on.

You walk with him down the darkening streets, the wind making the air feel more frosty and your nose is slightly burning with the cold.

“Are you warm enough?” Matt asks, coming to a stop suddenly. “You’re shivering.”

“It’s just the cold,” you reassure him. “The weather sure turned on a dime right about now. Scarves tomorrow I think.”

To your surprise, Matt unwinds his own scarf and wraps it around your neck, “Better?”

“Yeah, you didn’t have to,” you stare at the ground. “I wasn’t hinting or anything.”

“Am I not allowed to be a gentleman just because I’m your boss?” Matt says in amusement. “I missed that memo.”

“Sorry,” you wince. “Thank you. That was really nice of you.”

“Any time,” he continues walking with you.

“I really like it at Nelson & Murdock,” you pipe up as you hit West 44th. “It’s just very…..relaxed.”

“I don’t see the point in being too formal,” Matt shrugs. “Formal is for the courtroom. The office should be a place you can get support, have a quiet moment or have some fun. I never want anyone to feel like they’d hate coming to work or that no one cares.”

“I feel like most bosses don’t get that simple concept,” you laugh. “Happy workforce equals more positive output.”

“Right? It’s so simple,” Matt flashes you a million watt grin. “Plus I don’t have it in me to be an asshole. Do unto others and all.”

“Are you religious?” you ask.

“Boy you sure ask a lot of questions,” Matt turns his head slightly to you.

“Kind of the job,” you nudge him a little.

“I guess that’s fair,” he chuckles. “Yes. Brought up Catholic. Not the best church goer but I try.”

“That’s nice,” you nod. “Having faith.”

“And you?”

“Lost mine a long time ago,” you go a bit quieter.

“I won’t pry,” Matt says civilly. “You’ve already told me a lot of dark things about your past today. I don’t want to add more to that.”

“Maybe someday,” you murmur.

“I’d like to know more about you,” he almost whispers, the sentence nearly swallowed by the traffic incessantly beeping.

You’re sure he didn’t mean for you to hear that so you keep quiet, almost to your apartment when you pass the burger place.

“Oh wow,” Matt almost seems knocked over by the smell. “Organic right? Can’t smell anything artificial.”

“Yes sirree,” you grin. “Good huh?”

“I just heard your stomach rumble,” he laughs before he falls silent immediately. “Oh wait, mine too. Hey, do you wanna get some food?”

“Sure,” you try not to sound to eager.

So far your plan not to step on Karen’s toes was failing miserably but there was just something so magnetic about being in Matt’s presence and you just kept wanting to know more.

You settle down in the booth and immediately start reading options to him. Matt just sits there with the biggest grin on his face before he removes his glasses and you can almost see his eyes sparkling with life.

“Everything okay?” you trail off after describing a Buffalo chicken burger.

“You just automatically started reading to me,” he remarks.

“Oh I’m sorry,” you get flustered. “I didn’t mean to be presumptuous.”

“No no no, you mistake me,” he shakes his head. “I found it very endearing. Most people don’t even think about accommodating my condition. Thank you.”

“Any time,” you parrot his words back to him and the corner of his eyes crinkle as he smiles.

“Not to sound odd but I’m really glad you got fired,” he says warmly. “It’s nice to have you on our team.”

“Doesn’t sound odd in the slightest,” you laugh softly.

Matt seems to stare near you direction for a while before he suddenly gathers himself, coughing before giving his order to the waitress who just came over.

As he had a drink put down in front of him, he puts his hand on the table and you watch with fascination as he effortlessly locates it, bringing it up to his mouth and draining most of it.

“You’re staring,” he smirks. “Am I that interesting?”

“Uh no,” you flush. “I mean, yes, I mean….ah shit, I’m just impressed okay?”

“I wasn’t blind from birth,” he says knowingly. “That’s what everyone asks.”

“I was just gonna ask if you’d finish your story about how you got good at fighting but sure, just judge me,” you say playfully.

“Oh god, I’m sorry,” Matt looks embarrassed. “I guess I’m not used to a girl like….never mind. I’ll tell you the story.”

By the end of your dinner, you know a fair amount about his past but it’s still not enough to quell the interest that rages in you to know more. You can still feel there’s something hidden beneath the charming demeanour. He was holding back but that was okay. You were both still virtually strangers to each other. You couldn’t expect him to recant his life story to you.

Matt still insisted on taking you straight to the door of you apartment block and once there, he become awkward.

“Well, this is me,” you interrupt the weird silence.

“Sure you’ll be okay?” he asks for the third time.

“I don’t think any criminal is going to get me between here and the lift,” you laugh. “I’m good.”

You start unwinding his scarf but he lays a warm hand on yours, preventing the action.

“Keep it,” he smiles. “Give it back to me tomorrow.”

“But-”

“Do I have to pull out the boss card?” he chuckles. “Keep it.”

“Thank you,” you nod.

His hand lingers on yours a lot longer than was appropriate for your type of relationship before you feel his fingers trace tiny patterns on your skin. You bit back the tiny gasp of surprise you wanted to make but your heart was thundering with trying to sort out what it meant.

“Good night, Ace,” he finally pulls away.

“I’m not escaping the nickname, am I?” you quip, still completely overwhelmed by the tiny amount of affectionate contact.

“Foggy’s made you a sign for your desk, so no,” Matt winks. “I’ll pick you up tomorrow and if you say ‘I don’t have to’ one more time, I’ll put you on coffee duty.”

You shut your mouth as that is exactly what you were going to say.

“Good night, Matt,” you settle on saying. “I would say get home safe but I think that’s redundant.”

“Still nice for someone to say it,” he appears wistful. “Good night.”

He walks off and you end up barrelling up to your apartment, shutting the door quickly and just resting your back against the wood.

Every time you spoke to Matt you ended up getting more and more intrigued by him, you found him more attractive with every new movement. This was no way for an employee to behave but….

You clutched the scarf to your face, inhaling the scent that was a very faint tinge of musk and vanilla.

Why would he be so overly friendly otherwise?

You really would have to try and find a proper work balance soon or Matt Murdock was going to drive you crazy.


	4. Prosecution Rests

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You get your first real case at Nelson & Murdock

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a fair amount of Hollywood legalese. Courtroom law is not my speciality because my day job is the creation of crime cases but I gave it a good shot :)  
> Happy reading!   
> \- TLP x
> 
> (Some proof reading errors possible)

 

The next morning he’s already waiting outside your flat block.

You have your own scarf on, tightly wrapped around your neck and some of your face, the wool comforting against the acrid wind chill. His own scarf is in your hands and you hold it out to him.

“Morning, I have your scarf here.”

“Do you have one on?” he asks.

“Sure do,” you grin before he smiles and takes his own scarf back, winding it around himself in a very artful manner. “Thanks for lending it to me.”

“No problem at all,” Matt nods graciously before producing something from behind his back that steams in the New York winter air. “Got you something.”

“You got me coffee?” you say excitedly.

“Oh one better than that,” he laughs at your enthusiasm. “Hot cocoa with a dash of gingerbread syrup. It’s getting towards Christmas after all.”

“You are officially the best boss ever,” you marvel as he hands you the unassuming cup and you can smell the spices wafting up from the lid. “Thank you.”

“Cold walks to work need something nice to get you along,” he nods wisely and you can just about see the mischievous twinkle in his eyes over the opaque glasses. “I used to dissolve actual gingerbread into my cocoa when I was kid. Barbaric when you look back now.”

“I think it’s sweet,” you nudge him slightly. “I can just imagine you stirring it like a potion.”

“That was all well and good until my dad had to clean the mugs out and the lumps of gingerbread would stick to them. Would take ages to clean,” Matt snorts.

“And now look, we have syrup. Modern wonders never cease,” you laugh.

“You seem so much happier than when I first met you,” Matt says out of nowhere before coughing slightly and clearing his throat. “Ah, sorry. I didn’t meant to analyse you.”

“No, it’s fine,” you say earnestly. “I am. I never realised how stressed I was at Mandelson’s. It’s been nice to take a pace that doesn’t keep me up until two a.m. every night.”

“God, how did you function?” Matt wrinkles his nose up.

“Probably the same way I imagine you’re doing right now,” you say knowingly.

“Excuse me?” Matt blusters.

“The dark circles under your eyes,” you point out. “You haven’t slept much and you’ve got some bruising on your collarbone.”

“Yeah I fall out of bed sometimes,” Matt shakes his head. “I get disorientated when I’m dreaming.”

“Maybe you should line your bedroom floor with those playmats kids use,” you suggest wryly.

“Actually not a bad idea,” Matt laughs before extending his arm out. “Shall we? Doesn’t set a good example if the boss is late.”

“Yes, let’s,” you say chirpily, sliding your arm around the crook of his elbow.

 

 

**

 

 

A knock at the door sent everyone into a flurry.

It seemed like everyone couldn’t believe there was a person who wanted to come into Nelson & Murdock and for just a moment everyone forgot protocol.

“Open the door, geez,” you laugh and Foggy shakes his head to reset himself.

“Oh yeah! Duh!” he laughs before opening the door and going into that bizarre serious mode. “Welcome to Nelson & Murdock, how can we assist you?”

“I need help,” comes the reply, male, possibly in his early twenties from the sounds of it.

You’d been in the game long enough to know the certain tones people gave away in their voice, the words they used and the profiling of course. This man had been accused of a serious crime, most likely sexual in nature.

“Come on in,” Foggy waves the guy in.

He’s wearing a sports uniform, probably a coach and he’s wringing a baseball cap in between his fingers, picking at the seams. He’s also chewing his lip to shreds and looks like he’s subsisting on energy drinks and candy bars.

“I’ll take this,” you tell Matt.

“Sure?” he asks.

“I think this will be my speciality,” you say sadly and Matt just pats your arm.

“Go get ‘em, Ace,” he smiles slightly.

“Sir, sit down,” you say to the man. “Would you like a drink?”

“Nah, man, nah,” the guy shakes his head. “Any more and my heart will give out. Maybe it oughta. My life is fuckin’ ruined anyhow.”

“You got accused of rape, didn’t you?” you say softly.

“I didn’t even know her!” the guy says desperately. “She just attends the same sports centre. It’s hopeless, man. I’m finished. Her parents are rich and I ain’t nobody to turn to.”

“You can turn to us,” you say firmly.

“I heard you take on the cases that people think are unwinnable, turn them around,” the guy continues and out of the corner of your eye, you see the tiny proud smile Matt gives at hearing that. “Help me?”

“Sure thing but you have to be open and honest with me, even if it’s embarrassing or uncomfortable,” you nod. “Tell me everything from the start.”

 

**

 

Brent Patterson seemed to be in a very bad quandary.

A girl from the cheerleading squad that practised whilst he coached the football team had accused him of raping her in the equipment shed.

Without CCTV or any witnesses, it was purely Brent’s word against hers and she had the power of expensive lawyers on her side. All of that and this girl was only sixteen which just added to the case’s difficulty.

Brent’s reputation was already up in flames that was for sure but it could be salvaged. With the right decision by a judge, Brent may even be able to sue the girl’s family for defamation of character.

“When does court convene?” you ask.

“Two days,” Brent admits, running a hand through his all American blond hair. “I’m sorry, I know that’s like no time at all.”

“I like a challenge,” you smile. “Consider me in, Mr Patterson. I’ll see you tomorrow to discuss the police report.”

“Thank you, thank you,” Brent babbles furiously, so grateful to be heard before he left the office.

“Can I speak with you in my office?” Matt asks after Brent is gone.

“Uh, sure,” you say, wondering if you’ve done something wrong.

You follow him in and stand there, a little nervous. He takes off his glasses and leans on his desk.

“Oh you’re not in any trouble,” he says hastily. “You can relax.”

“Wow am I that obvious?” you laugh.

“I can hear you grinding your teeth slightly,” he remarks. “Actually I want to compliment you. That was a very sensitive matter. You’re really good with people. I’m kinda baffled you became a prosecution attorney rather than the defence.”

“I think it’s because it’s easier to serve justice on the guilty rather than try to defend the innocent and it go wrong. I take things to heart more than I should,” you shrug. “Cases get to me.”

“And so they should,” Matt nods. “If I ever lost that passion, that drive….I’d quit. There would be no point trying to win something that my heart wasn’t in.”

“I can see that,” you muse. “God this is like a whole new world to me. People who actually have passion for their job rather than a fixation with the salary.”

“I guess I’m just an idiot then,” Matt laughs. “Money doesn’t matter to me. Making a difference does.”

“Are you always so altruistic?” you tease.

“No,” Matt snorts. “Sometimes I deliberately take the freshest cake in a bakery rather than the one closest.”

“Oh wow, well you’re just a regular asshole then,” you laugh.

“That’s me,” Matt holds his hands out grinning. “Seriously though, good job.”

“Thank you,” you say genuinely. “Let’s hope this all goes well.”

“With you helming it, I’m sure it will.”

 

**

 

Prep was done, you stood in court with Matt by your side and Brent on your other.

You looked across to see the furious face of Greg Mandelson, sizing you up from across the room and swallowed hard. Of all the firms the prosecution could’ve been….

“You’ll be fine,” Matt squeezes your knee covertly. “Don’t let him get in your head. You have this.”

Matt’s faith in you renewed your motivation and you gave a very confident opening statement. When you turned to see Greg Mandelson, he was in very anxious hushed tones with the girl and her father. That gave you even more of a confidence boost.

The first recess rolled around and you stepped out to the coffee shop within the courthouse, only to run into Greg who almost pushed you backwards.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” he hisses. “Working for Nelson & Murdock? Really? They’re idiots. They’re nobodies.”

“Why do you care?” you challenge. “You fired me right?”

“You’re not a defence lawyer,” Greg starts towering over you. “I thought you’d have some sense and go to Jameson’s but clearly a pretty guy walks across your path and you throw away your talent.”

“Again, why do you care?” you reiterate. “You told me I  _have_  no talent. You had no faith in my abilities on the last case.”

“Words are words, sweetheart,” Greg scoffs. “I was pissed off that day. Doesn’t mean I didn’t notice you did extra effort. Just politics, you know? Now I gotta look at your tight ass in a skirt for the rest of my life across a courtroom? Jesus. Why did you have to switch?”

“Excuse me?!” you blurt out.

“Why don’t you repeat that for the benefit of everyone,” Matt says, scaring you a lot as he seemed to come from nowhere.

“I’m sure you’re getting plenty of benefit,” Greg sneers. “Or maybe not since you can’t see the goods.”

“I’ll trust you’ll stop speaking about my employee like that quite sharpish,” Matt warns. “Unless you want a sexual harassment case on your hands because I’m quite happy to go there.”

Greg just winks at you before walking away, giving Matt a solid glare before he goes.

“Are you okay?” Matt asks.

“Yeah, I’m just confused,” you shake your head. “I always thought he hated me.”

“I guess he never grew out of the 'be mean to girls and pull their hair to show you like them’ phrase,” Matt sighs. “He really is an odious man.”

“I have to win this, Matt,” you say grimly. “Not just for Brent but for me as well.”

“I get it,” Matt places his hands on your shoulders. “Use that drive, that purpose.”

“Okay, okay,” you take a deep breath.

“And if he says one more vile thing to you, you might be defending  _me_ soon,” Matt mutters, turned in the direction that Greg left.

“Easy there, Sir Knight,” you try to make light of the situation. “Come on, I’m really in desperate need of that coffee now.”

 

**

 

You started losing the fight when they prevented the SAE kit findings.

The girl  _had_ had sex with someone that day. You were one hundred per cent sure it wasn’t Brent though.

A theory was formulating in your head that maybe her parents had found out about the tryst and she’d blamed it on Brent to distract from the actual person she’d been with. It wouldn’t be the first time you’ve heard of it and probably wouldn’t be the last.

While Greg was giving his spiel, you took the opportunity to assess the girl, not having seen her before today. She seemed nervous, fiddling with the ends of her hair but it was just something about the way she was looking that made you take notice.

She was completely fixated on Brent. She hadn’t taken her eyes off him in the last five minutes that you’d been watching her. Then she surreptitiously took out a small notebook, maybe a diary and began writing.

Your lawyer senses were tingling, for lack of a better term. That notebook was important and her absolute obsession with staring at your client told you that the key to cracking this case was written in there.

Thank god you had another recess coming soon.

“You’re on to something aren’t you?” Matt whispers.

“I need that book she has,” you murmur back. “She hasn’t stopped staring at Brent since the prosecution stated their case and she’s making notes.”

“Give me your theory,” Matt’s lips were practically touching your ear as he made sure only you could hear.

You turned your head, going to do the same and his lips brushed your cheek but he didn’t seem phased at all. You on the other hand, turned bright red again.

“Go on,” he encourages you.

“I think either she’s using Brent as the fall guy because her parents found out she was having sex and she didn’t want to get the real boyfriend in trouble or……or she’s been obsessed with him for a long time and she’s a fantasist.”

“Good spot,” he nods. “So what’s the play?”

“I can’t just steal the book. That’s inadmissible evidence,” you huff.

“Then draw attention to it,” Matt says.

He was right. Nobody was supposed to be recording anything happening in the court room and that included note taking other than the officiate.

“Okay, let’s do this,” you say firmly.

Now it was your turn and you cross examined Brent before moving onto the girl.

“He raped me!” she yells, becoming hysterical after you pushed her hard to recant details. “You’ve got it all there in the statements!”

“Curiously I note you’ve been doing some statements of your own,” you wag a finger at her. “You’ve been note taking throughout this session and the book is on the prosecution’s desk there.”

The judge peers over and waves his hand, “Bring it here.”

The girl visibly pales before shaking her head violently but no sound comes out of her mouth. Greg just shoots you the nastiest look before bringing the small document up and handing it over. You wait with baited breath to see if your hunch was right before the judge lets out a long sigh.

“Miss Smallwood, this will now have to be given as evidence due to the content,” the judge hands it to the notation taker. “Please photocopy this for both parties.”

Then comes another wait where you sit down next to Matt and he gives you a friendly nudge.

“Good instincts, Ace,” he smiles at you. “Maybe you should’ve been a detective with those observational skills.”

“I don’t like the hours,” you smirk. “I don’t do well running on empty. I get grouchy.”

“I could never imagine you grouchy,” Matt laughs softly. “You’re so…..chirpy.”

“Just you wait until I go too long without food then,” you laugh back. “I’m like a gorgon.”

“Then I’ll keep you well fed,” Matt grins. “Ah they’re coming back now.”

It was about a minute later that they walked through the doors to hand the sheets to you. Matt’s hearing must be incredible.

You scanned through, softly relaying the info to Matt who seemed enraptured. Of course they hadn’t provided him with a Braille copy since you were right next to him.

The notebook did indeed seem to be a diary and it was…..obsessional, obsessional bordering on clinically ill.

 

_Saturday:_

_**10:47 a.m**. Brent walked by and smiled at me._

_**12:31 p.m.**  I saw him change the water cooler. He’s so strong. I bet he could lift me liked I weighed nothing._

_**13:19 p.m.**  That stupid whore Jessica is speaking to him. Twirling her hair. I bet he’s just being polite in talking to her, like he feels sorry for her. He’s not into her at all._

_**13:47 p.m.**  Brent said goodbye to me and waved. Why doesn’t he make a move? I’m waiting._

 

_Monday:_

_**11:36 a.m**. I’m flirting with Jason Briggs now. Brent will get jealous and then finally confess his love for me. He seems annoyed. I think it’s working_

 

_Tuesday:_

_**09:13 a.m.**  Brent hasn’t said anything to me. Does he not like me?_

_**11:58 a.m.** He’s betrayed me. I saw him kissing some absolute slut. Just because she’s older, just because she’s pretty in that bimbo kinda way. He’ll regret this. _

 

“She’s delusional,” Matt seems a little shaken. “This is a revenge plot.”

“You know what, I think we just got justice for Brent,” you note before getting back up to finish the rest of your defence action.

 

 

**

 

“Thank you so so much, man. I can’t say thank you enough,” Brent gushes after hearing the not guilty verdict.

“It’s no problem at all,” you smile, shaking his hand. “The truth won out.”

“I still have so much damage control to do but thank you,” Brent nods fervently. “I’ll get my mom to pay you the remainder. Bye.”

With that he runs off and into the arms of a slight blonde girl who hugs him tightly. This must be his girlfriend that the girl was so jealous about.

“And that was a very impressive first outing,” Matt squeezes your shoulder. “You are definitely a fantastic defence lawyer.”

“Well you gave me the small push I needed,” you smile at him.

“I suppose some congratulations are in order?” Greg sighs as he walks past with his hands stuffed into his pockets. “God knows why you didn’t use those skills when you worked for me.”

“Probably because having a boss who doesn’t yell at me all the time is a better motivator,” you say bluntly.

“Oh I don’t think it’s that,” Greg sneers. “More like you’re playing golden girl because you wanna get in Murdock’s pants. You never did like the classically attractive ones.”

“Are you just annoyed that I never slept with you? Is that what all this bullshit is about?” you challenge him. “Did you fire me for that?”

“Of course not,” he snorts. “But it would’ve helped in your favour if you had. The New York lawyer scene is a dog eat dog world, sweetcheeks and you need to go above and beyond to remain there.”

“If you talk to her like that one more time, we’re going to have a problem,” Matt says dangerously. “She’s an amazing lawyer, she’s not a piece of meat for your outdated Wall Street Yuppie lifestyle. Why don’t go snort some more cocaine and go to a strip club to cool off?”

“Fuck you, you asshole,” Greg gets in Matt’s face and Matt just squares his shoulders, making him broader. “What are you gonna do, huh? Nothing.”

Greg just shoves his hands near Matt’s face to see if he’ll flinch but he doesn’t. Greg then steps backwards before going to walk around Matt and in one instant he’s sprawled out on the floor, Matt’s cane extended to its fullest amount.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t see you there,” Matt says calmly.

“You tripped me up, you fucking dick!” Greg explodes, scrambling to his feet and brushing off his suit. “I’ll have you on assault charges!”

“I think you should just watch where you’re going in future,” the judge pats Greg’s back. “It’s not like Mr Murdock is aware of where his cane is in relation to you. I suggest you go your separate ways now.”

“This is not over,” Greg jabs his finger in Matt’s direction before stalking out.

“I’m sorry for his behaviour,” you explain to the judge. “Bad blood and all.”

“Mr Mandelson needs to remember his voice carries,” the judge raises an eyebrow. “Are you alright?”

“Fine,” you smile.

“Good day to you then and to you, Mr Murdock. Well done on your result,” the judge just gives an enigmatic smile before going into the break room.

“I can’t believe you tripped him up,” you say in amazement to Matt.

“Told you I would,” Matt smirks. “I’m not about to let him say such horrible things to you. That’s reprehensible. Did he ever make advances on you at work?”

“If he did I didn’t realise what they were,” you shrug. “I can be oblivious when I’m concentrating.”

You must have been oblivious just now because you didn’t realise Matt had placed his arm around your waist protectively until you felt his fingers curl a little on your skin. Matt Murdock was plenty chivalrous.

“God I am so glad I got you away from him,” Matt’s completely tense still.

“Hey, it’s okay,” you turn to him, still in his grip. “We won, we showed him up. That’s a pretty fantastic day right there so let’s not dwell on it and instead let’s go get some celebratory cake from Carlo’s Bakery.”

Matt let’s go of his anger, his hand falling away from your body before he takes a deep breath, “Yeah, that sounds pretty good actually. Tell you what, me and Foggy will take you to Josie’s tonight, really initiate you into the team.”

“Josie’s?”

“It’s a bit of a dive bar but it’s  _our_  dive bar,” Matt smiles fondly. “Come on, I’ll buy you a drink. You deserve it.”

“Sure, but I’m not passing up on cakes first,” you say playfully. “I have a really bad sweet tooth.”

“Well how can I refuse a lady?” Matt grins, holding out his arm again. “And let’s bring some back for the others too.”

When you link arms, Matt brings his other across to pat yours. Again he lingers for quite a while.

“Are you okay?” you ask.

Abruptly he stops, “Yeah, sorry. I just….I’m still hung up on the Greg thing I think. It really bothered me to hear him talk like that about you.”

“It’s not uncommon,” you sigh. “Happens all the time in the really top law firms.”

“Well it shouldn’t,” Matt says sharply. “You’re so much more than your appearance.”

“I’m gonna say this because I know you won’t get offended,” you start. “But how would you know about my appearance?”

“Because men’s heartbeats pick up when you walk by,” he says nonchalantly. “I mean if I could feel your face I’d confirm it for myself.”

“Can you get a sense of what I look like from that?” you query.

“I can build a mental picture,” he says. “But it’s quite an intimate thing to trust somebody with that. I’ve only done it with a handful of people.”

“Then maybe we’ll trust each other enough one day that you’ll know what I look like,” you smile.

“I’d like that,” he smiles before murmuring so you almost didn’t catch it.

“I’d like that a lot.”


	5. Defence Case-in-Chief

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Matt, Foggy and Karen take you to Josie’s to properly induct you into the team.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter warnings: Drama, angst
> 
> Happy reading guys!  
> -TLP xx
> 
> (Possible proof reading errors)

You made it back to Nelson & Murdock just about in one piece trying to carry the various items you’d bought from Carlo’s.

Matt seemed to be having no trouble at all perfectly balancing the stack of boxes as he effortlessly navigated the hallways of the office block. You were a little bit jealous to tell the truth….or did you just feel inept that you couldn’t co-ordinate yourself even though you had full sight?

“These smell great, it’s been torture taking these back,” Matt murmurs as he seems to get a whiff of the pastries and desserts.

“Tell me about it,” you groan. “I still say we should’ve bunked off and eaten them in a park.”

“I wouldn’t be a very good boss if I excluded people,” Matt grins. “Although I’m regretting the decision more and more. The park sounds lovely.”

You reach the top of the stairs and Foggy seems to sense you’re there because he throws open the door with a dramatic gesture.

“Well?” he asks expectantly.

“Whatever did you expect?” Matt quirks up an eyebrow. “Of course we won. Would I bring cakes if we didn’t?”

“This is why we’re friends, Matty,” Foggy takes the burden of some of the boxes. “You keep me well fed.”

“Someone has to,” Matt quips. “You never take care of yourself.”

“I believe pot and kettle spring to mind, hmmm?” Foggy just gives a daft wiggle of his eyebrows before walking in. “Hey Karen! We got a win!”

She walks up to a small whiteboard and puts a tally mark through a rather obviously termed ‘Cases Won/Lost’ chart. It’s sweet to be honest.

“Josie’s later?” Matt asks. “I feel we need to include Ace into the team properly.”

“Well now she’s definitely earned my  _charming_ nickname for her, yeah,” Foggy beams, presenting you with a desk sign. “M'lady. Welcome to Nelson & Murdock officially.”

“Yeah yeah, let’s just eat cake,” you laugh. “My stomach’s been raging for twenty minutes.”

“Honestly, you two are made for each other,” Karen rolls her eyes.

You get the feeling there’s more to that statement than meets the eye but you don’t push it, after all, why spoil such a good day?

 

**

 

“I guess when you said dive bar you meant it,” you look around the dingy walls and the faded chairs.

Josie’s had kind of that homely feel in so much as it was home to those who lived rough lives and those who lived at the bottom of a bottle. There was still something eccentric about it though that you couldn’t quite put your finger on.

“What would you like?” Matt puts his arm at the top of your back, guiding you forward to the bar unit.

“Yeah, we have a tab,” Foggy winks. “Because we’re so important.”

“No you don’t,” the woman behind the bar sighs. “I keep telling you.”

“Ah come on, Josie, just pretend? Like once?” Foggy pleads.

“You’re strange, you boys,” she rolls her eyes. “Gimme your orders.”

“Two beers for us, white wine for Karen and for Ace…..” Foggy trails off.

“Rum and Coke,” you answer.

“Ahhhh spirits lady, nice!” Foggy grins. “And that’s everything.”

When you sit down and begin talking with everyone, it becomes clear something is a little off. Although Matt and Foggy chatter away, giving away the length of their friendship with how closely they talk, Karen sits apart slightly, barely joining in. It throws you completely and you can’t get a good conversational rhythm going without excluding her.

About several drinks in, she stands up abruptly, “Matt can we talk, outside?”

“Uh sure,” Matt frowns a little, removing his hand from your shoulder where he was leaning in to half whisper/half shout in your ear over the music.

They disappear outside, Karen’s body language screaming that she was unhappy. Her arms were folded, her lips pursed and she was standing rigid.

“Is there something going on there?” you ask Foggy.

“I think….it’s not really my place to say this…..” he stutters, his usual effervescent composure dulled.

“Is it something I did?” you ask insecurely.

The way Foggy chews his lips, it’s definitely a yes, “Look, Karen’s just sensitive okay? It’ll blow over.”

You could believe that up until the point you heard her raised voice outside, the alcohol obviously emboldening her.

“I can’t believe you’d string me along like that! I thought….I thought we had something? Obviously not because you’re so close to her I may as well be invisible. If you want me to quit, just say so.”

“That’s not what I’m saying,” you can hear Matt is frustrated.

Foggy just gives you an awkward look and drinks more to keep his hands occupied.

“What  _are_  you saying then?” Karen huffs.

“I’m saying go home. You’re drunk and you’re not talking straight,” Matt urges. “You wouldn’t be saying this to me normally.”

“No because I’d be too scared to,” she hisses. “Don’t expect me in work tomorrow.”

“Karen!” Matt calls after her but obviously she’s left.

“There was something between her and Matt a little while ago,” Foggy admits. “I don’t think she’s happy that another female is here so to speak and you two seem to be getting on so well.”

“Oh.”

You felt horrible now. You knew you’d gotten a feeling about Karen and Matt. Why didn’t you listen to your gut instinct? Now you’d already ruined things at Nelson & Murdock.

“I need to go after Karen,” Foggy rises from the table. “I don’t think she’ll want Matt to go after her right now.”

“I’m sorry for spoiling things,” you murmur.

Foggy just squeezes your shoulder, “You didn’t. This is something that’s been festering for a while so it’s probably a good thing it came to a head sooner rather than later. See you tomorrow, Ace.”

With that he leaves and you’re all alone at the table with half empty drinks and a ton of eyes watching the drama unfolding. You feel self conscious and ram the rest of the drink down your throat.

Matt comes back in about two minutes later and sits down, pinching the bridge of his nose and sighing.

“How much of that did you hear?”

“All of it,” you admit.

He takes his glasses off, looking near to where your eyes would be, “I realise this is awkward. I just want you to know, this is not a habit. Karen….it would never have worked with Karen and I thought she was past it because we’d been so professional lately but obviously there’s still feelings on her part. I’m really sorry you got dragged into this. I feel so embarrassed.”

“I’m sorry for making trouble for you,” you bite your lip uncomfortably.

“No, no, don’t do that,” Matt shakes his head, placing his hand on top of yours. “This is  _my_  issue. I’ll handle it. You don’t need to feel guilty for anything. I should’ve dealt with it better before I hired you but I was just so excited to have you with us.”

“And I was excited to work with you,” you admit.

“Can we just….forget about this until the morning?” Matt cradles his head in his other hand. “This is a problem for when I’m sober and won’t aggravate the situation. I don’t want to do this drunk. She deserves better than that.”

“That’s sensible,” you nod. “So since I’m caught up in all this, why didn’t it work?”

“I…..I’m not very good at letting people in,” Matt shifts uncomfortably. “And she was expecting so much more than I could give. I didn’t want to lead her on. She can do so much better than someone like me.”

“I get it,” you nod. “It can be hard to open up sometimes and some folks just want everything laid bare.”

“Exactly,” Matt points but it’s quite wide of where you are. “You understand me.”

“I do. So let’s drink a couple more because there is way too much adrenalin going on,” you get up and order more alcohol.

You just catch him saying as you hit the bar area, “You always seem to know how to make me smile.”

 

**

 

By the time you were at your limit for a work night, it was around eleven p.m. and you were pulling your coat on.

“I’ll walk you home,” Matt gets up but he wobbles unsteadily.

“Woah, I don’t think so,” you shake your head. “You’re far too gone.”

“Alright, then walk  _me_  home,” Matt proposes. “I may have gone overboard…probably….definitely.”

“Fine,” you laugh. “Where do you live?”

He gives you the address and you take the crook of his elbow, half guiding him, half propping him up so he walks in a straight line. It’s a little tricky but you get the rhythm of it.

When you reach his apartment block and get up to his floor, you note just how run down some of the other places are. New York prices though right?

“Ahhhh keys, keys,” he pats his coat before he eventually finds them and opens the door.

Immediately you see a soft pink//red light fill the space and you walk in, only to discover you can’t actually see much, even with the faint light.

“Sorry,” Matt notes that you’ve stopped. “I don’t have much use for lighting, I forget sometimes.”

He flips a switch nearby and you help him down the stairs into the main room where you see the glaring neon billboard outside.

“Nice view,” you remark.

“I hear it’s….unique,” Matt smirks. “Reason I got this place so cheap.”

“Lucky you,” you note how spacious it is. “I feel like the old woman that lived in the shoe compared to this.”

“Never old,” Matt gives you a sloppy smile. “Do you want me to call a cab for you or do you want to stay a little bit longer?”

You probably shouldn’t stay, not after everything that’s happened tonight but you just can’t tear yourself away, even knowing he was a bit emotionally closed off and his secretary was still jonesing for him.

“If you’re comfortable with me staying, I’ll stay,” you give him the option to still kick you out.

“I’d like you to,” he hangs his head. “I just wasn’t sure you’d want to after  _that_.”

“We’re two adults, Matt,” you posture. “I’m not going to get in a huff with you just because there was drama. It’s still less drama than I had at Mandelson’s.”

He snorts a little before moving with ease to his kitchen counter, pouring two glasses of what look like whisky before coming round and handing one to you.

“I figured you’d like it,” he says as he does.

“You’re starting to learn,” you laugh, taking a small sip and feeling the comfortable warmth.

“So how does a girl get so into her hard liqueur?” Matt asks.

“By going to all the wrong bars as a teenager,” you answer wryly. “Highest alcohol content means a cheaper night overall.”

“How very thrifty,” Matt raises his glass. “I’ve not drunk like this in a long time, always a little too afraid to, what with balance being a key thing to me, but since I had you there, I thought why not?”

“Oh so I’m the designated driver so to speak?” you laugh.

“Something like that,” he grins.

“I’d probably best take my coat off if I’m staying for a little bit,” you note, putting the glass down on the coffee table. “Feel rude otherwise.”

“You’re very old school,” Matt notes, pointing with his tumbler. “I really like that. Here, let me help you.”

“Oh no, I’m fine really I-” you try and protest but he’s already moving behind you.

With both your co-ordination slightly shot, you get a bit entangled in your own clothing and end up having to twirl out of it before he drops your coat over the chair. You’ve spun so much though that you end up staggering a little and automatically his hands shoot out to stop you from falling.

They land on your waist, just at the point where your shirt had rucked up exposing the skin, exposing your scar. You felt his fingers move over it, mapping it out and you recoiled, embarrassed and ashamed.

“No, don’t,” he says firmly. “Why are you backing away?”

“Because it’s ugly,” you blurt out. “I don’t like people seeing, let alone touching.”

“It’s not ugly,” Matt says softly, his baleful eyes having even more depth to them than usual. “It’s a story. It’s  _your_  story. Don’t ever be ashamed for surviving.”

“You wouldn’t say that if-”

“-I could see,” Matt finishes. “Here.”

He opens his shirt a little so you can see the top of his chest. It’s littered with scar tissue and what look like knife and bullet wounds.

“Do you get mugged a lot?” you ask.

“Something like that,” he says quietly. “But I’m trying to say we all have our scars. Don’t ever put yourself down because of them.”

There’s a silence where you just stare at the sheer volume of wounds Matt must’ve accumulated in his life. No wonder he started learning self defence.

“You want to ask, don’t you?” he guesses.

“No,” you shake your head. “I….this sounds silly.”

“Nothing will sound silly,” he assures you.

“I…kinda wanna trace them,” you flush shyly. “I mean since you did it with mine.”

“Quid pro quo, huh? Alright then, but let me finish what I was doing because I didn’t map yours out entirely,” he smiles boyishly.

The alcohol was definitely getting to you both because now you were acutely aware you’d just coerced your boss into a 'show me yours and I’ll show you mine’ situation. God, why were you making this so much worse?!

The second his hand goes back to your waist, however, it flies out of your head and your fingers hover over his chest for a second before finally touching his warm skin, feeling the roughness and smoothness of various scars. It was quite the canvas.

“Knife wound, right?” he asks gently.

“Yep,” you nod. “Bullet wound, yeah?”

“Uh huh,” he affirms.

You just continue with the scars that you can see, not daring to know how far down they went along his body.

“You never do what I expect you do,” he murmurs, his hand now just apparently stroking your side. “I always read you wrong. That’s never happened before.”

“So….I’m your mystery?” you end up smirking.

“I guess,” he laughs. “Usually it’s  _me_  that people tag as mysterious. I’m finally getting a taste of my own medicine.”

“And how does it taste?” you ask, completely innocently.

“Shall I find out?”

There’s a very heavy tension that falls over you both and you don’t know what to do. You’re a hundred percent sure he’s flirting with you but can you honestly flirt back after what happened at Josie’s? Can you flirt back knowing the both of you are drunk?

“Your heart rate picked up so much,” he notes, his face not very far from yours. “You’re apprehensive but not appalled at the suggestion. That’s good news at least.”

“Do you…. _want_  to find out?” you find your tongue.

“There’s just something about you….” he trails off, his other hand finding your cheek so he knows where your face is. “I don’t know why….I just want to know more.”

That surprises you that he feels the same way. You thought it was very one sided.

“I’m not laid bare for you, Matt,” you say firmly, trying to regain some control before you completely mess up your boss/employee relationship forever. “I don’t let many people in either.”

“That’s fair,” he smiles, the sight completely gorgeous. “Tell me I’m overstepping and I’ll back off.”

“Maybe I should go,” you suggest.

“Stay, please,” he gives you the strangest combination of puppy dog eyes and eyes of want. “Take my bed. I’ll sleep on the couch. Least I can do for you helping me home.”

“But I don’t have anything to wash up with,” you protest.

“I keep spares,” he says. “No pressure. Just an offer.”

God, why was he making this so difficult?! Logically it made sense since you needed to save more money with your paycut  _not_  to take a cab but this situation…..

“Okay I’ll stay but I need bed clothes,” you tell him. “I’m not sleeping in a suit.”

“Then I will fetch you something,” Matt says graciously before disappearing into the bedroom and returning with one of his plain t-shirts and some sweatpants. “Will these do?”

“Sure,” you nod, taking them and going into the bathroom to change and brush your teeth.

When you come out, your jaw just about drops to see Matt’s taken his shirt completely off.

How the fuck does a blind lawyer get that ripped?! He had better abs than you’d seen on some ardent gym goers. You also saw the scars extended way down his chest and back, probably towards his legs too.

He must have had a very hard life.

“Are you okay?” he asks, turning around. “You made a small gasp.”

“Just wasn’t expecting….”

“The shirt,” he guesses. “Sorry, I just felt…comfortable enough to take it off. If you’re offended I’ll change-”

“It’s fine,” you cut in. “I suppose this is good night then.”

He moves towards you, hand outstretched slightly as he finds your waist again, pulling at the t-shirt, “Fits you well. If you need me in the night, I’ll be out here.”

“I can take the couch you know,” you try and offer, feeling bad for stealing his bed.

“I offered you the bed,” he smiles. “I invited you here, I asked you to stay. I’m not an asshole that I’d make you sleep on the couch.”

“Alright then,” you laugh slightly. “Good night, Matt.”

You don’t expect him to lean down and kiss your forehead, in fact you end up rearing your neck back in shock to move away from him but the action just brings your lips close to his and he seems to grasp the opportunity, giving you a soft kiss before moving away.

“Good night.”

“I….” you stammer.

He hasn’t completely let go of you yet and your alcohol addled mind just goes into overdrive, thinking about how gentle his lips were and how overwhelmed you just felt.

“Oh god, I’m so sorry, I overstepped,” he looks down awkwardly before backing away and sitting down on the couch. “I didn’t mean to, I got a bit caught up.”

“I’m sure we’ll discuss it in the morning,” you end up saying as your legs automatically carried you into the bedroom.

You sank down into the soft silken sheets, completely blindsided.

Matt Murdock wasn’t just flirting with you, he’d downright made a  _move_. No wonder Karen was pissed. She must have known how he felt.

_Oh god, way to involve yourself in office romance drama._

_Smooth. Real smooth._


	6. Defence Rests

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You and Matt come to terms with what you did last night and try to heal the fractures at Nelson & Murdock

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Warnings: Angst
> 
> Sorry for the delay with everything! As I've explained in other fics, I've been in hospital recently so writing has fallen by the wayside. Anyways, enjoy the new chapter!
> 
> (Proof reading errors likely!)
> 
> \- TLP xx

You woke up sometime while it was still dark.

Blearily you reached for your phone to see that it was only one in the morning. Guess that old adage was true that sleeping in a new place will set you on edge. The silk sheets were a little too warm and you weren’t used to such firm pillows.

The need to go to the bathroom took over and you swung your legs out, padding to the door where you slid it gently open, trying not to make too much noise since Matt was hypersensitive. When you got out into the living room, you were surprised to see an empty couch.

Maybe he was already in the bathroom?

When you got there, however, the door was open and the room was empty.

Where the hell was he? Had he stepped out for a bit? Maybe you’d messed this up more than you’d thought and he couldn’t stand being in the same space right now.

_What a great way to make an impression in your first couple of weeks…._

Sure you’d managed to win a good case for the firm but in the process had fractured the atmosphere and working relationships between everyone there. You were sure Foggy had a bit of a thing for Karen even so he was bound to take her side. It felt like you’d made it two versus two and even then you were on a tightrope of emotions with Matt.

After finishing up, you just went back to bed. You were still a little tipsy, truth be told, tipsy enough that you just slid back into your dreams.

You never noticed that at four in the morning, a figure almost crawled into bed with you before hesitating, like they forgot you were there before gently pulling the covers up further over your body, tucking you in and turning back towards the living room, settling on the couch with a small groan.

 

**

 

It was about seven when you woke again, the fringes of sleep still trying to claw you back but you shook it off. You only had two hours to get into work and most of those hours would be spent trying to make yourself look presentable.

You debated with yourself whether to just leave, not say anything so you had a chance to change and maybe there wouldn’t be awkward questions at work but….that seemed rude.

You got up, stretching out before walking into the living room again and your steps faltered as you saw the sight on the couch.

Matt was there, shirtless still but his torso was littered with fresh bruises and a couple of cuts. It was a good thing he had a dark sofa or the stains would have been very noticeable. He seemed to be completely out of it, sprawled with limbs in uncomfortable positions.

“Oh my god,” you end up breathing and he snaps awake, protesting as he does so with a loud groan.

“Shit,” he curses. “I overslept.”

“What the hell happened to you?!” you forget all thoughts of employee protocol and rush over, trying to see the extent of the damage.

“It’s fine, I just…I sleepwalk,” Matt stutters, the pain obviously getting to him.

“Hell yeah you do. I woke up and you were gone,” you frown. “What do you do exactly? Walk out into New York with a few stitches of clothing and try to beat up people in your sleep?”

“I hope not,” Matt laughs although you can tell the action causes him agony. “God, it’s getting worse. I’m gonna need to be strapped down every night at this rate.”

You get the feeling he’s lying to you but you don’t push it. Everyone has their secrets and it was not time for Matt Murdock to tell you his.

“You don’t believe me, huh?” he cocks a sly grin.

“Oh well that’s one thing you’ve gotten right about me. Well done,” you push him in the shoulder gently. “You’re learning. Now stay still whilst I get you some painkillers.”

“You really don’t have to-” he tries to stand but you push him back down.

“You’re a mess. Let me help,” you go full nurse mode, gathering as many medical supplies as you can.

He’s silent whilst you attend to him, embarrassed you might have guessed from the way he was avoiding even trying to look in your direction.

“I didn’t expect you to still be here,” he admits after an age of quiet. “I thought you might have…gone home after what happened. I wouldn’t have blamed you. I was very outta line.”

“Matt, it was a kiss. It wasn’t like you tried to go any further,” you assure him.

“But I shouldn’t have done that,” he hangs his head. “I overstepped our professional relationship and said things I should’ve left unsaid. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” you nod, disinfecting what seems like a tiny slash mark on his pectoral muscle. “Geez, if I had to apologise for every dumb thing I did whilst drunk I’d be here all day.”

He laughs a little shyly and you take that as a sign that the tension is finally dissipating.

“So why don’t we just keep last night as last night and carry on as we did before,” you suggest. “There’s already enough issues in the office as is and I don’t want to make them worse.”

“Oh no, please don’t,” he wrinkles his nose. “It’s all  _my_  fault. You have nothing to do with the friendship problems going on.”

“Foggy told me it’s been brewing for a while,” you sit down next to him, the job finally done.

“Yeah it has,” Matt sighs, running his hands through his fluffy hair. “All because I couldn’t separate feelings from work and work from more work and now I guess history is repeating itself.”

“You’re good at being a Catholic, you know?” you smirk.

“I’m sorry?” he blinks.

“You’re good at self flagellation,” you point out.

“I suppose I am,” he chuckles. “Now I should probably get my head outta my ass and be the boss again, huh?”

“And you can start by making your employee some coffee whilst she gets ready,” you nudge him. “I don’t care if you’ve been in a sleepwalking fight club, happy employees mean a happy workforce.”

“Yes Ma'am,” he genuinely smiles. “I can do that. You can borrow one of my shirts if you don’t want to wear the same outfit twice and cause…suspicion.”

“Thank you,” you nod before getting up to get dressed again.

“Again, I’m sorry,” comes the small voice as you go back into his room.

“So am I. I wish it could’ve been different,” you end up muttering, not knowing that he caught that sentence completely.

 

**

 

You got to Nelson & Murdock without too much fuss to just find Foggy there, looking a bit lost.

“She was really serious, huh?” Matt sighs. “She’s not coming?”

“She quit, Matt,” Foggy seems unusually grim.

“Ah no,” Matt rubs his temple. “Do you think I should talk to her?”

“Uh, yeah?” Foggy says, with a hint of sarcasm. “Doesn’t mean much coming from me, does it?”

“Can you two hold the fort?” Matt asks. “I don’t want this to become bad blood.”

“Yeah of course,” Foggy nods. “Go on.”

“I’ll see you two later,” Matt gives a tiny wave before leaving and it takes Foggy approximately ten seconds to round on you.

“Sooooooo,” Foggy leans on the doorway. “You’re wearing Matt’s clothes.”

“Wha-what?” you bluster.

“Come on, it doesn’t fit you in the right way,” he pouts stupidly. “Don’t kid a kidder, Ace. You stayed at his last night.”

“Only because the idiot was too drunk to function,” you admit. “He would’ve been an easy target if he’d gone home alone.”

“Ah so  _he_  became the damsel in distress,” Foggy snorts. “Makes a change and I get it. Let me just ask one thing….are you and him…..you know.”

“We’re not,” you shake your head. “It’s never a good idea to date within work, right?”

“Oh I don’t know,” Foggy laughs. “Everyone else in New York seems to be doing it.”

“I just want to work,” you shuffle papers at your desk. “With fun people. I really didn’t mean to light the touchpaper.”

“Aww please,” Foggy throws his hands up. “What’s done is done. Let’s just get back to how it was. I can’t stand all this sadness. It’s not me. I’m fun!”

“Yes you are,” you smile back.

 

**

 

When Matt finally returns with Karen, you and Foggy are having a marshmallow throwing war.

You’d taken up root behind your desk, firing them with rubber bands and giggling. It had been a slow day with no one even coming to the door so you had to find entertainment where you could.

Turned out you had sloppy aim and Matt caught the marshmallow right out of the air before it could hit him.

“Glad to see my company is in such good hands,” he raises an eyebrow.

“My company too, Matty,” Foggy whoops. “Join in!”

“I think there needs to be a talk first,” Karen takes a deep breath. “To clear the air so to speak. Ace, will you come speak with me alone?”

“Sure,” you nod, getting up and getting a last minute marshmallow to the face from Foggy who just says ‘oops’ innocently.

When you get into the office, you lean on the desk, fully expecting some rage to come from her side but all you see is a defeated woman.

“I’m sorry,” she begins. “Last night….that was….I lost my head.”

“I understand, you know,” you say sincerely. “I didn’t know there was something between you and Matt til Foggy told me. I can see how it would’ve looked.”

“I….Matt’s an ass,” Karen laughs softly. “He’s this closed off, mysterious thing and you never know where you stand with him. I just thought there was something more there than there was. I should never have gotten annoyed with you though. It’s not your fault. I’m sorry.”

“It’s alright, really,” you reassure her. “I’m not so good with men either.”

She smiles, “Well aren’t we a team? Look, I won’t interfere if you and Matt have something going on. That’s not professional of me. I just hope we can all get along as before. It was just…a shock.”

“Karen, I just want a drama free work life,” you hold out your hands. “Mandelson’s was just a hot bed of affairs, corruption and bullying.”

“Oh wow,” she takes a seat next to you. “So like was…everyone doing everyone? Like a TV show?”

“You have no idea,” you laugh. “The storage closets became infamous for hook ups. Poor cleaners…”

“Oh my god,” Karen giggles. “Suddenly this place doesn’t seem so bad.”

“Truce?” you hold out your hand.

“Truce,” she shakes it. “Now let’s round up those two before they cause more problems. They need to get cases and all they’re doing is moping.”

“Amen to that,” you smile.

 

 

**

 

The end of the day approached quicker than you thought, the equilibrium of the office restored.

It was liberating not to feel so guilty any more and you could actually get on and enjoy your work. However when close rolled around and you and Matt were the last ones to leave, something unspoken settled again.

“I’m sorry, I can’t walk you home any more,” Matt says sadly. “I think we need to establish some boundaries.”

“I get it,” you shrug. “You’re right. Thank you for walking me the other times.”

“Although I expect you to text me when you get home,” Matt warns. “Because if you don’t, I’ll think something bad’s happened.”

“I think I can stretch to that,” you smile.

“Go on now, get outta here,” Matt ushers you out, almost touching your shoulder but thinking better of it.

As you walk back home, you’re not sure what’s worse. The feeling that you and Matt had a moment that was built from a lot of smaller ones or that you were now stuck in this limbo where you were pretending nothing happened?

You still felt that pull, still wondered who he was as a person, still wanted to uncover the mystery of Matt Murdock. Guess you would just have to bury it from now on.

When you got home, you didn’t relax right away. Instead, you changed into something a bit warmer, a bit more comfortable and took a thermos of cocoa with you up to the roof. Sometimes you came up here when you needed to think, just to clear your head.

The stars sparkled brightly above you in the crisp winter air.  It was peaceful in a way.  You could just reflect without being bothered.

A noise caught your attention, a small scuffling but it went as soon as you heard it.

Must be a bird or something.

You just went back to thinking how different your life was from last month. Even with all the recent issues, it was still infinitely more calm and you didn’t feel much stress. The cases you were looking at as well…..Matt was right.

You  _were_  more suited to defence than prosecution.

_Stop thinking about Matt, for god’s sake woman…..pull it together._

But the second you actively tried to put him out of your mind, the memory of him touching your waist came flooding back, the way he was so gentle but firm. You half wished he’d pressed further but god, if you’d gone all the way would there have been a chance to pull back? Could you have salvaged your professional relationship?

“Excuse me, Ma'am?” comes a gruff voice and you turn quickly to see a military type guy shuffling along the roof. “You got the time?”

“Uh sure, it’s nearly midnight,” you smile at him.

“Thank you,” he says graciously. “You doin’ much up here?”

“Oh, just thinking,” you shrug. “Sometimes it’s good to get some quiet. The walls in this place are paper thin.”

“Ain’t that the truth,” the guy laughs. “Mind if I join ya?”

“Sure,” you nod. “I won’t be out here too much longer though. Work calls in the morning.”

“I just need a break, Ma'am,” the guy shakes his head. “Ain’t askin’ for all night company.”

He approaches you and holds out his hand to which you shake it.

“I’m Frank,” he introduces himself and you tell him your name.

“New here?” you ask.

“Yeah, just moved,” he gives a lopsided grin.

“Military?”

“Marine corps,” he affirms. “And you? Let me guess….business woman?”

“Not quite,” you smile. “Attorney.”

“Posture gave it away,” he laughs. “You got good form.”

“Uh thanks?” you don’t quite know how to take it.

“Nice to meet ya anyways,” Franks says, hunching down as he sits on the fan next to you. “Makes me real sorry I gotta do this.”

“Do what?” you suddenly feel a little bit scared, like you shouldn’t have let your guard down.

When you have a combat knife pressed to your throat, you curse yourself that you didn’t just go to bed. The pressure was harsh but he wasn’t pushing enough to split the skin.

“See,” he raises his volume. “Red’s been on this building e'ry night for the past two weeks. I started wonderin’ why. Then I looked at where he sometimes set up and it was outside a’ your apartment. You’re special to him, lady. Special is what I can use.”

“Let her go,” comes a dark voice from the shadows.

“Nuh uh, Red,” Frank drags you to your feet. “I got ya girl. Now you’re gonna back off and let me do my thing, otherwise we gotta problem.”

“She has nothing to do with this, Frank!” the voice becomes more panicked.

“It’s ya own damn fault,” Frank tuts. “You just got too involved and won’t let things lie. So this is ya official warnin’. Back. The. Fuck. Off.”

“I can’t let you do that. You’re harming people, you’re killing people,” the voice has moved closer but you still can’t see where it’s coming from.

“Then I guess we got ourselves a standoff,” Frank chuckles. “I really _am_ sorry, sweetheart. Ya got dragged into such a shitfest because of this punk.”

“Just let me go, okay?” you plead. “I have no idea what’s going on.”

“So ya don’t recognise Red, huh?” Frank jerks your chin in a different direction and you spot it.

The figure. The figure in red.

The Devil of Hell’s Kitchen.

“Uh no?” you say confused. “Never seen him before except for the newspapers.”

“Well ain’t that curious,” Frank purses his lips. “So why’s he so damn protective of ya, huh? Ain’t seen that before. Ya must be somethin’ to him?”

“I don’t know who he is,” you say honestly. “Really.”

“Aww Red, keepin’ secrets….tsk tsk tsk. Demands still stand, back off or I’ll hafta take her with me.”

Daredevil walks out, sticks in hand as he moves towards you both, full of purpose.

“Let her go, Frank. This isn’t you. You don’t take down innocent people,” he implores.

“You just don’t shut up, do ya?” Frank groans. “Just let me finish what I started and ya lil’ piece a’ lawyer ass is unharmed.  _Capisce_?”

“Just don’t hurt her,” Daredevil says softly and there’s something familiar about the lilt of the voice.

Whoever this guy in the suit was, he knew you but you didn’t know him. He could be someone you knew, he could be a complete stalker….

Either way, you were caught between the Devil and the deep blue sea.


	7. Prosecution Rebuttal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Frank has you held hostage on the roof and for some reason seems to think Daredevil cares about you….but just who is the Devil of Hell’s Kitchen?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Warnings: Angst, PTSD, Attempt Non-Con
> 
> This gets a bit angsty heavy so be warned!  
> Happy reading!  
> \- TLP xx
> 
> (Proof reading errors likely)

Daredevil prowled forward, cautiously and you were desperately trying to figure out if you knew him, if knowing him could prevent what was going on.

“So what’s it gonna be, Red?” Frank asks, stepping back with you.

“You know I can’t let you continue,” Daredevil says with such sorrow that you wonder how he could ever be a vigilante.

“God-fuckin’-damnit, Red!” Frank hisses. “Just leave me alone!”

Frank was obviously worked up because he was getting sloppy in handling you, the knife cut into your neck a little and you felt something wet trickle down your neck.

Within seconds, your heart rate was bursting, that prickly feeling on your palms starting and the sweat beading on your forehead. Fuck, you were going into a panic attack. All the memories of that night when you got your scar coming right back to you.

 

–

_You were walking, slightly tipsy as your high heeled feet slapped the uneven flagstones of the alleyway, your cute little shortcut to your university dorm._

_You weren’t expecting it when a hand clamped around your waist and another over your mouth._

“ _Don’t scream, don’t shout and you’ll live through this, alright?” comes the jagged voice, sounding like a lifetime of whisky and cigarettes._

_You nod, not knowing what else to do before he spins you round and you can see him properly. Grizzled greying hair, shabby clothes. Homeless for sure. But you note the build of his shoulders, the combat stance, the calculating eyes._

_He was military once._

“ _What do you want?” you ask in little more than a whisper, knowing you can’t outrun him in the stupid heels you were wearing._

“ _Purse. Now,” he orders, producing a knife and you dutifully throw the small handbag at him which he stuffs in his coat pocket. “Good, now turn around and fuck off.”_

“ _Can I just….I have a flash drive in there with my essay on….” you trail off, knowing as soon as you said it how ridiculous you were being._

_Alcohol was fuzzing your judgement. A university essay was not worth your life!_

“ _Are you fucking serious, lady?” the guy sneers. “Fuck off before you end up in a dumpster.”_

“ _But-” you start and he rushes you, pinning you against the grime soaked wall where you feel the moisture seeping into your clothing._

“ _I warned you, sweetheart,” you finally get a chance to look into his eyes, the pupils obscuring the irises almost. He was definitely high. “Now you gotta give me something for my troubles, huh?”_

“ _What?” you reply in a shaky voice._

_The knife is pointed at you as he tugs on the waistband of your criminally short shorts, making his point._

“ _No,” you shake your head. “No no no no no.”_

“ _You ain’t got a choice now. I gave you a chance to run but little miss preppy didn’t take it. This is on you.”_

_He starts to try and yank your shorts down and you struggle against him, screaming at the top of your lungs for someone to help._

“ _Hey!” come a voice at the end of the alleyway._

_Thank god, you were saved._

“ _Fuck. This is on you,” the guy repeats, panicking slightly before you feel a dull impact in your side._

_Did he punch you?_

_Then he pulls back and you see the red liquid dripping off the knife, glistening in the glare of the street lamps before he runs off and you stare at the ruin of your abdomen before your legs give out._

“ _Oh my god, call 911 Kara!” you hear, although it sounds like it’s coming from miles away._

_That’s all you remember before you woke up in the hospital._

__

“Frank, look at her!” Daredevil seems beside himself, pointing frantically. “Let her go!”

“Shit,” Frank hisses, feeling you shake and start babbling. “You ain’t tell me she had PTSD, fuck Red.”

He lays you down on the ground, kneeling behind your head as he holds it still and talks to you.

“Count the stars you see, girl,” Frank instructs.

You just keep crying until his voice finally gets through to you and you realise you’re holding onto Daredevil’s hand, although you’re not sure  _when_ precisely that happened.

“Count ‘em.”

“One, two, three, four….” you reel off until you reach about fifty.

“'Aight, that’ll do,” Frank backs off a little. “Jesus fuckin’ Christ. Stay away from this girl, Red. She don’t need your problems or any more in her life.”

“I know,” Daredevil responds solemnly. “Trust me, I know and thank you for helping her.”

“I know what it’s like,” Frank shrugs. “The flashbacks, the panic attacks, the nightmares. What happened to her?”

“Mugging gone wrong,” Daredevil replies.

How could he know that? Only a few people knew. He  _had_  to be someone you knew.

“Shit,” Frank whistles. “That’s rough. The knife set her off. Look, I’m gonna call it for tonight. Too much shit goin’ down and this…..this was the wrong thing a’ me to do. Not her.”

“We’re still at an impasse.”

“I fuckin’ know, Red, 'aight? But I ain’t a monster. This isn’t me.”

“And that’s what I’m trying to save you from, Frank. From  _becoming_ that monster.”

“I don’t need ya damn help,” Frank scoffs. “Just….stay outta my way and look after this girl. She was kind to me at the start.”

You hear the scrape of boots as he squats instead of kneeling and gives your hair a small stroke, “I’m real sorry, Ma'am. I didn’t mean to make ya feel upset.”

He doesn’t give you the chance to respond before he disappears back down into the apartment building.

“Are you alright?” Daredevil asks, sitting you upright and leaning you against the extractor fan.

“No,” you admit. “Why am I caught in between that man and you? Who am I to you?”

“I’m sorry, I can’t tell you that.”

“Why not? I almost got shanked, I have a right to know.”

There’s a heavy sigh, “Because you just can’t know. It’s safer.”

“Safer?!” you squeak. “Safer than getting a knife to my throat?!”

“I know. I know this is all frightening for you but please, please forget about it if you can. I’ll escort you back downstairs.”

True to his word, he carries you back down because you don’t trust your legs to be stable right now and waits until you unlock your door before carrying you in and into your bedroom, putting you gently down with such reverence.

_It has to be someone close. No one could be this intimate with me…._

You mentally prepare yourself, coiling your muscles to grab at his helmet, to uncover his face. It’s like he sensed it though because when you sprang, he caught your wrists, placing you softly back on the bed, leaning over you and still keeping a firm grip.

“Nice try,” he smiles slightly. “You’re quicker than I expected.”

“Just tell me,” you plead. “I want to know if I need to move, if I need to always be on my guard. This isn’t fair.”

“I know it’s not,” he answers. “But know it comes from a place of caring and the last thing I want is to see you hurt. That scared me.”

There’s a movement in his body, like he’s familiar with you because he leans over and you feel the warmth from his breath.

“You’re someone close. I know you are,” you whisper. “Just let me see.”

“No,” he stops your wrists from trying to escape his grasp. “It’s dangerous.”

“Just-”

He kisses you and you’re stunned, so stunned you don’t even respond for a moment.

“Sorry,” he says softly. “I’m just glad you’re alright. I need to go now but I’ll be nearby and I’ll keep an eye on you. Be safe”

He jerks away quickly so you don’t have the chance to pounce on him before slipping through the window and disappearing from view, parkouring up the side of the building.

You just blink in disbelief that the Devil of Hell’s Kitchen had just kissed you…..he kissed you and it tasted like gingerbread….

 

**

 

 

 

You didn’t expect Matt Murdock to be waiting outside with a coffee after what he’d said to you yesterday.

“What changed your mind?” you ask, taking the cup and feeling the warmth, smelling the bitter scent wafting up.

“The original reason I started walking you to work was because you had that incident,” Matt grimaces. “I thought it over last night and I would never forgive myself if you went through it again, just because we had something inappropriate.”

“Inappropriate huh?”

“Oh…I….” he stutters, blushing a little. “I didn’t mean….I mean in terms of work….I….god, I’m not very good at this, am I?”

“Nope,” you laugh. “But I appreciate that you thought about it.”

“Oh well there’s something I’m getting right,” you see the million watt smile again.

“Actually I  _really_  do appreciate it,” you emphasise.

“Something happened, didn’t it?” he asks softly. “I knew I should’ve been here.”

“I…got taken hostage on the roof of my apartment building,” you let the previous night’s episode spill forth. “By some military guy having issues with Daredevil, you know the guy in red who’s a vigilante?”

“Yeah I know him,” Matt nods, his eyebrows knitted together in concern. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. It got solved peacefully but I had a panic attack during it and I’m just….I’m glad you’re here.”

“I’m not letting anything happen to you, don’t worry,” Matt offers you his elbow so you can start walking to work. “I would say I’ll keep an eye on you but….you know.”

“You see better than people with full sight,” you laugh. “Don’t give me that.”

“Alright, fair,” Matt concedes. “So do you need somewhere to stay? Do you feel safe in your apartment?”

“Somehow I don’t get the impression it’ll happen again but can I ask something? Tell me if this is wildly beyond our dynamic as well.”

“Sure. Go ahead.”

“Would you mind staying over tonight? The couch is a pull out, I just….I don’t wanna be alone.”

“Of course,” Matt says instantly. “I’m not letting you be upset. One stipulation though, I bring my own sheets. I can’t stand cotton, it’s too itchy.”

“Because you’re sensitive to that, right?” you ask.

“You have no idea,” he sighs. “Feels like I’m being stabbed by tiny thumbtacks all night otherwise.”

“How on earth do you sleep on your couch then?”

“Practice.”

You laugh slightly, taking sips of your coffee before he stops you just outside the Nelson & Murdock office.

“He cut you, didn’t he? The military guy? I can smell antiseptic.”

“Yeah,” you admit. “He didn’t mean to though. It was an accident.”

Matt just grits his jaw and you see his eyes through the side of his glasses look more enraged than you’ve ever seen them.

“I’d advise you not to tell the others,” he murmurs. “Don’t panic them. We’ll deal with this together.”

What exactly could you and a blind defence attorney possibly do though?

 

**

 

After explaining away the cut on your neck as you slipping whilst you were trying to shave your underarms in the shower, which you don’t think Karen and Foggy bought at all, the day goes by relatively quickly.

Soon it’s time to go home again and as usual you and Matt are the last to leave.

You swing by his apartment, taking his sheets and pillow and a few of his toiletries before grabbing a cab to yours. When he gets into your apartment, he stops for a moment.

“Shall I describe it?” you ask, wondering if he was trying to map his surroundings.

The shy little smile he gives all but steals your heart again, “You always seem to know what I’m thinking. Please, it helps me.”

“Okay, there’s a couch about six feet in front of you, TV cabinet to your left, kitchen is to your right, past the couch and left is the bedroom and bathroom. Storage cabinet right at the back.”

“Thank you, for being so accommodating,” Matt smiles. “This place it smells like…..cinnamon cookies.”

“Oh that’s the candle,” you laugh. “Reminds me of my grandma’s house.”

“It’s nice,” Matt nods. “Normally candles are overpowering but that one is quite subtle. Although I want a Cinnabon now.”

“Those things ruin your diet,” you say wisely. “Only-”

“-Because you can’t stop once you start,” Matt grins. “I know that one.”

“Guess we’re quite similar,” you shuffle a little awkwardly, knowing the unspoken tension was still there between you but in truth, having Matt in your apartment made you feel safer.

He may be blind but you’ve seen him in action and you know he could defend you if Frank turned up again.

“I guess we are,” Matt nods. “May I trouble you for a drink?”

“The normal kind or the fun kind?”

“Why not both?” he chuckles.

“Oh so Irish coffee it is huh?” you move to the kitchen.

“Why not make alcoholic cocoa?” he calls after you. “I’d say you’d earned it.”

You snicker to yourself that the cornerstone of your affectionate interactions always revolve around hot drinks.

You pull down the cocoa powder and Bailey’s mixing it all up until you can smell the slight coffee edge wafting through the bitter chocolate.

“Smells good,” you hear a voice from right behind you and you almost flip the mug over.

“Goddamn!” you jump.

“I’m sorry,” you feel two broad hands on your shoulders, steadying you. “I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“You move so quietly,” your heart is hammering. “Maybe you should be a spy rather than a lawyer.”

“Well I do look good in a suit I’m told.”

“That is very true.”

The words escape your mouth before you can stop yourself and you turn bright red. Shit, you just complimented your boss’ appearance.

“Well thank you,” he says graciously, the pads of his thumbs lingering too much on your exposed shoulders. “That’s good information to know. I could be dressing myself in a rainbow flag for all I know.”

“I think you’d know, mainly from the laughter in the street,” you quip before turning out of his touch and handing him the cup.

He was close, very close and the proximity was spinning your head again. You really should’ve stayed away, not asked him to come because every time you’re this close to him, you forget who he is to you, you forget all the drama that happened.

“Mmm, this is good,” he takes a sip, some of the foam clinging to his top lip.

“I wouldn’t have guessed from how much of it is still on your face,” you laugh.

He quickly wiped his mouth, nervously before smiling warmly at you, “This is nice. Nice to know more about you.”

“And have a sleepover? Welcome back to teenage years.”

“Well that too. Listen….I know I was all for creating distance but realistically…I don’t think it’ll work in the long run. I’m going to be candid here and I hope you can keep this between us.”

“Okay…..”

“I don’t think I  _want_  to create distance,” he says quietly. “Is that selfish of me?”

“Not selfish,” you shake your head. “But probably a bad idea. We already had one bad thing come out of this.”

“I know, but I just….I meant what I said that night. I want to know more.”

“Matt-”

“I’m sorry, this is not the time, right? You just went through something horrible.”

“Matt, just shut up and watch a film with me,” you interject before he can start down that road of guilt and shame.

“I think I can do that.”

Throughout the film, you and Matt gravitate closer and closer until you’re touching legs, your sides bunched up together.

You don’t think it’s a conscious choice. You just end up that way.

It’s also not a conscious choice that you fall asleep on his shoulder but the late night and the stress of the day finally catch up with you.

 

**

 

Matt hears your breathing start to get steady, the tiny snuffles people give away when they’re sleeping.

He smooths back your hair, following the line of your face, memorising it. He knew this was intimate but he really wanted an idea of what you looked like. His fingers skipped over your brow, your nose which he found cute, the soft cheekbones, the jawline and then finally…..and he really shouldn’t have…..he traced your lips.

He knew them out of instinct by kissing you but tracing them was another matter.

“Beautiful,” he murmurs to himself before pulling his hand away.

Matt so desperately wanted to kiss you again but he’d stepped over the line doing it as Daredevil but Christ….he was so afraid for you last night. It was such a relief to know you were okay and that your first thought was to turn to him for help.

There’s the tiniest sound of a gun being checked outside from across the rooftop and a heavy shuffle of boots. Matt knows it’s Frank outside but he doesn’t get the impression he’s going to do anything other than watch. Maybe he’ll even be protecting you after your panic attack.

Frank always had a soft spot for those like him. Those who had suffered.

Not that he could go and confront the marine anyway. He didn’t bring his Daredevil outfit and he risked exposure fighting as he was now.

_But is my identity worth her life if he attacks again?_

No, no it wasn’t.

He gently picks you up, feeling his way to your bedroom with his feet before putting you down and placing you under the covers. Clearly alcohol and tiredness had knocked you straight out because you barely moved other than a tiny whimper.

“Come back to bed,” he heard you say but the tone was marred with sleepiness and an edge of slurring.

You were still half asleep and didn’t know what you were saying.

“I can’t,” he tells you gently. “I have my own bed.”

“No fair,” you whine and Matt can’t really tell if you’re dreaming or not.

“I’m sorry, sweetheart.”

“Kiss me before you go.”

“You really don’t want me to.”

“Kiss me, Murdock. It’s just a dream. It doesn’t matter. I make my own rules in dreams.”

Would it be wrong? Would it be horrific of him to give into your request, knowing you were still under the pull of sleep? Then again, you were dreaming about  _him_ and that gave him a little bubble of hope in his chest.

He eventually decided and leaned down, kissing you softly before moving away and back out to the couch where he doesn’t even bother pulling it out, just content to lie across it.

He reflected in on himself, the guilt eating away at him. He couldn’t have a relationship with you. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to, it was just that if you found out who he was, you would walk away instantly. You’d already been subject to his other life and paid a heavy price for it.

Matt needed to remind himself that this is the reason Karen didn’t work out. He couldn’t do that to you too. But God did he feel alive around you and maybe there was a sliver of promise that you felt the same way.

He allowed himself the fantasy that you could be a couple someday, you fully knowing about Daredevil and supporting him like you had done when you found him on the couch with cuts and bruises. Him supporting you, to push you to be the best attorney you could be.

_Life is fucking cruel though and God has cursed me to destroy everything I touch. I couldn’t do that to you. I refuse. You’re better off staying away from me….even though I really don’t want you to…._


	8. Jury Instructions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Something’s off with Matt Murdock and you make a drastic choice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only chapter warnings this time: Angst
> 
> Matt Murdock really is a man of mystery
> 
> Happy reading! 
> 
> \- TLP xx
> 
> (Proof reading errors likely)

When you came to, everything felt off.

You remember falling asleep on the couch but now you were in the bed. Did Matt carry you? If he did he must be very strong to shift your deadweight.

The off feeling continued as you stumbled out into the living room and saw that Matt was nowhere to be seen. The couch was all neatly reassembled too.

“Matt?” you call out.

There’s no answer.

Had he left already? Did you say something awkward and he just couldn’t stand to be around you?

Your mind flagellated itself with panic as you searched around to see if maybe he’d left you a note. You didn’t find anything. You also didn’t have any new text messages.

Matt Murdock had just gone.

_What if that Frank guy got him? No, silly thought, I definitely would’ve heard that, I’m sure._

There was nothing more you could do though, you were already running a little late for work so you just hurriedly pulled on some office wear before running out of the door and off to Nelson & Murdock.

 

**

 

“Oh hey, Ace!” Foggy greets you with a grin. “Hey, duck!”

You manage to dodge the rubber band that flings your way before picking up a balled up post it note near the door and whamming it towards his head. It hits true but he starts laughing.

“Great shot! Did you ever play baseball?”

“God no, I preferred partying to sports,” you smile.

“So…..Matty not with you?” Foggy raises an eyebrow.

“Should he be?”

“Welllllllll….I went to his apartment last night and he wasn’t there and the bedsheets were gone. A man doth assume.”

“I got jumped on my apartment roof and he was staying at mine so I’d feel safe but he was gone this morning and-”

“Wait, you got mugged  _again_?!” Foggy drops his files, coming over and checking you over. “Wow you have the  _worst_  luck!”

“It all started when I came here actually,” you try and joke. “So he’s not here?”

“No,” Foggy goes quiet.

“And Karen?”

“Oh she’s on a coffee run. Look, he’s probably doing whatever mysterious stuff he does. Matty gets like this sometimes, don’t worry.”

“I’m not worried,” you try and bluff.

“Oh sweetie,” Foggy pouts. “Don’t lie to me. I’m a lawyer, I know. Think I can’t tell that you’re into him and that he’s into you but you’re orbiting each other in this weird awkward way?”

“That’s quite an observation,” you sigh.

“But a true one. Just be careful. Matty’s got a lot of secrets and I don’t wanna see you go the way of Karen.”

“Thanks for looking out for me,” you nudge him slightly.

“Hey, I like our team,” he smiles. “Maybe we’ll be adding a name to the plaque someday.”

“Don’t tease me, Foggy,” you grin.

“Would I do that?” he asks innocently before squeezing your shoulder. “Anyway, let’s keep ourselves busy, yeah?”

To his credit, Foggy kept you entertained the entire day and so did Karen when she returned.

Matt Murdock didn’t show up for work at all.

 

**

 

On the third day when Matt didn’t show up, you got worried.

You visited his apartment but there was no response to the knocking. You wished you had his acute sense of hearing so you could know if he was inside….

Three days became five and you were concerned that Foggy wasn’t taking this seriously. He kept brushing off your questions and just insisting that Matt would be fine and he’d done stuff like this before.

After a full week, you decided to take matters into your own hands.

Who was the one person you knew had an interest in you but was outside the world of Nelson & Murdock?

Daredevil.

You had to draw out Daredevil.

Maybe he’d help you find Matt…..you hoped….

 

 

**

 

Wandering into the backlot of a crime gang’s hideout was not the smartest idea you’d ever had. As an attorney, you would’ve advised yourself against this.

You really couldn’t think of any other way though. You know Daredevil had been watching you and he’d shown up when you were in danger so…..logically you had to put yourself in danger again right?

You’d worn sensible shoes, kept a taser in your jeans pocket and kept a vigilant watch as you strode forward, the pretence being you were taking a shortcut across the parking lot.

“I think you lost, pretty,” a southern drawl sounds out and you turn to see a guy in jeans, a dress shirt and a bolo tie, standing in a doorway. “This ain’t a good neck a’ the woods if you get me?”

“Just taking a shortcut,” you say confidently, even though every instinct in you is screaming.

“Now now, no need to be hasty, little lady,” he coos. “You’d fetch a pretty price if you wanted to. Lot a’ high rollers loveeee a lady with some cojones. You wanna, pretty? You wanna be a kept woman?”

“I have a deadline tonight, can’t miss it,” you shrug nonchalantly. “Thanks though.”

“Oooo and polite. What a catch you are,” he chuckles to himself before approaching you and pulling out a flick knife. “But it was more of a request than an offer, pretty.”

You pull the taser out, readying the prongs. You would not be intimidated again, you would not freak out again.

_Face your fears head on….and come on Daredevil, show your red obnoxious ass._

“Got a sting in your tail, huh?” the guy smirks in amusement. “I like that. I like that a lot. You’d do so well in our little entourage, pretty. Won’t you reconsider?”

“I have places to be.”

“Well ain’t that a shame.”

He lunges for you but you’re ready and you duck through his wild swinging arms, managing to jab the taser prongs into his side. He convulses a little, grunting like a boar before falling to his knees.

You feel pretty good and powerful until you hear a cough and turn to see about six guys behind you.

Well shit.

“That wasn’t a nice thing to do to Beau, sweetcheeks,” one wields a baseball bat. “I think you gotta pay for that.”

“Threatening a girl with a knife isn’t nice either.”

Great, you were defaulting to being sassy when you were surrounded. Your preservation instincts were just super.

_Don’t freak out, don’t freak out. You can get out of this. Just stay calm._

They circled in on you until they were all barely a foot away. It was claustrophobic and scary as shit. They started herding you like a stray sheep towards the door, knifes and guns trained on you and you had no choice but to go where they directed.

_This was such a bad idea. Why did I think this would work?_

You get taken into the hideout and strapped down to a chair where the guy called Beau just squats in front of you, tutting loudly.

“I admire you, pretty. You got fire. Tell you what. You be my lady and I’ll make sure you get the world. Ain’t gonna be fairer than that.”

“Already got a full time job. Don’t need to be a housewife,” you reply casually.

Beau laughs, “I don’t want no wifey getting groceries and shit like that. I have people to do that for me. I just want a lady to light the bedroom up, if you get me?”

“Oh god,” you roll your eyes.

How the hell were you going to get out of this one? You’d really gotten yourself in big trouble with no way out. This was the dumbest thing you’d ever done.

The sound of screaming flared up somewhere in the complex and Beau’s head snapped up, looking around. His fingers curled on a gun in a side holster before he took your chin in his hand and squeezed slightly.

“Sit tight, pretty. Beau’s got some huntin’ to do.”

You’re left alone, struggling against the tight bonds whilst all hell is breaking loose around you. You’re pretty sure you hear gunfire as well.

There’s an almighty thunk at the door as if someone was flung at it, just as you manage to get your arms free and stand up. The door then is kicked open and you see him.

Daredevil.

Judging by his body language….he was pissed.

“What are you doing?” he asks levelly.

“What do you mean?” you rub your wrists.

“You deliberately came here. You put yourself in harms way. What the hell were you thinking?! Were you chasing a lead?”

“I…..”

God it feels so stupid to admit this now.

“I needed to speak with you.”

Silence falls and you feel monumentally small in the wake of his broad frame and the way his chin tilts to the sky like he’s trying his best not to shout at you.

“You know I’ve been around your apartment. Why would you not go to the roof?”

“I could’ve done that?”

“Oh my god,” Daredevil mutters to himself before walking straight to you and grabbing your shoulders. “Why in the world would your first thought be to walk straight into a gang hideout? Do you have a death wish?”

“I just knew this was most likely the guaranteed way of finding you.”

“Why did you need to find me so badly? Is Frank after you again?”

“No no,” you shake your head. “I need help and I didn’t know who else to talk to and you’ve been looking out for me although I don’t know why….”

His expression softens and his grip on your shoulders loosens, “Tell me.”

“I feel so stupid for doing all this and relying on a stranger,” you hang your head. “But my….friend…my….well I don’t know what is going on….he’s gone missing and I can’t find him.”

“What’s his name?”

“Matt Murdock.”

There’s the minutest flinch that you catch but you might have imagined it.

“And who is Matt exactly?”

“My boss but it’s complicated,” you admit. “It’s like one of those office relationships that you shouldn’t really have but-”

“You care about him,” Daredevil finishes. “And that’s why you’re worried.”

“My head is just so messed up about everything and wow this seemed like a really good idea at the time but….I’m sorry. This is not the greatest impression.”

“You’re shaking,” Daredevil notes. “Are you having an episode?”

“I have control,” your hands grip onto his arms to steady yourself. “I’m just…this was a shock. I thought you would show up earlier.”

“Well you can’t really rely on a vigilante to be on time,” he smirks. “I have other people to save, you know? Ones who don’t deliberately seek out danger.”

“Shut up,” you huff. “Lesson learned.”

“Do you want me to find Matt?”

“If you can. I’m just…I’m worried about him. He left my apartment without saying a word and he’s been gone for a week. Just something to let me know he’s okay, that’s all I need.”

“I’m sure he had his reasons,” Daredevil’s hands drift down, taking your hands in his. “Men can be funny sometimes.”

“Well he did say he was mysterious so I guess I should’ve seen it coming but it doesn’t stop me from caring.”

“I’ll find him,” Daredevil says. “This guy is an idiot for making you worry.”

“Yeah but I’m a bigger idiot for getting myself kidnapped. Thank you, for rescuing my dumb ass.”

“Any time, honestly. Even when you do scary stuff like this.”

 

**

 

Having Daredevil escort you home was quite the experience.

He took you down the back routes and alleyways out of sight of normal pedestrians until you hit your apartment building. Then he skilfully jumped up, dragging down the fire escape ladder and you both ascended to the roof.

“This is where I leave you,” he bows his head.

“Thanks again.”

“It’s alright and I promise, I’ll make sure Matt Murdock contacts you soon. Just do me one favour, okay? No more dangerous outings? You’re giving me a heart attack here.”

“I still don’t know why you’re so invested or even who you are.”

“Keep wondering, sweetheart.”

You realise he never fully smiles. He always does this half kind of smirk like he’s afraid of fully expressing the emotion.

“How about I close my eyes and you take off the mask and I just….feel what you look like?”

“You’ll peek,” he chuckles. “I know what you’re like. You’re curious.”

“Worth a try, right?” you shrug. “Good night.”

“Good night, A-” he stutters a bit before turning it into a cough and then running to the end of the roof before jumping to the next apartment block.

Odd but you brushed it off. Everything about that man was odd but at least he was dependable which was more than you could say for Matt right now.

Guess you had a friend in the Devil of Hell’s Kitchen.

 

**

 

The next day you’re awakened by a knocking at your door, which was odd for a Saturday.

You roll out of bed, briefly pausing at the mirror to make sure you didn’t look like a horror show before answering the door.

“Hey.”

Matt Murdock was standing in the hallway, covered in bruises, cuts and sporting a black eye hidden underneath his opaque glasses. It also jarred you to see him in casual clothes when you were so used to the suits.

“What happened?!” you cry.

“I….can I come in? I brought cocoa.”

“Jesus Christ, Matt. Do I need to call the police?”

“No no no, please. Just, just let me sit down.”

You take the cups from his hands, setting them down before leading him in. He’s wincing with every step, his leg unsteady and you can tell he’s trying to save face by keeping a stoic expression. He’s really badly hurt.

Then he crumples to the floor and you just about catch him before he lands heavily on his knees.

“Matt, you need the hospital,” you say firmly.

“Please don’t,” he whispers, clinging to you like a lifeline. “Ace, please.”

“I need to know what happened.”

“Alright, alright I’ll tell you but just no cops and Ace?”

“Yeah?”

“Just hold me for a bit. That’s all I want.”

He almost falls into your embrace, his body so weary as he grips you. For a moment, you push aside the fact this was your boss and just see him as he was, a man who needed your help. You just wrapped him tight in your arms and he lets his glasses fall to the floor so you can see his face where tears were brimming in his eyes before spilling over down his cheeks.

“I’m so sorry for making you worry. I’m sorry.”

“I know, it’s alright. It’s alright. I’ve got you.”


	9. Deliberations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Can Matt finally admit to you who he truly is?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Warnings: Mild Angst
> 
> Happy New Year guys! Have another chapter!  
> \- TLP xx
> 
> (Proof reading errors likely)

Matt looked up towards your kind face, the face he imagined was so screwed up with worry for him and he felt ashamed.

You’d done nothing to get caught up in his world this much and yet here you were, doing reckless shit to try and look after him. It wasn’t fair.

He opened his mouth to speak but the words wouldn’t come.

_How can I say it? ‘Oh hey, I’m Daredevil’. I can’t. It would destroy her trust in me. I was there the whole time but I never said anything._

He started panicking, unsure what to do. The tears flowed freely now and he felt embarrassed for showing his emotion. It was weak when he’d already shown his strength around you. The words just still wouldn’t come.

“What is it?” you say softly. “Tell me, please.”

“I….”

Could he really reveal his greatest secret as easily as this? Just blurt it out and hope for the best?  It was absurd. But…but what if he kept this dual life up around you? You’d come to rely on Daredevil now and what if you fell for the idea of  _him_ rather than the idea of Matt?

_What do I do? God, please help me, what do I do?_

“Matt?” you ask again.

“I went after Fisk’s network,” the lie unfolded. “I heard Vanessa was going to be smuggled back in across the border and start up his network again and I couldn’t let that happen. Not after all I went through to put him away.”

“What did you do, Matt?”

“I went to a warehouse. I was just trying to gauge what was going on, maybe bring the authorities down if I needed to but they saw me and….”

“Did they do this to you?!” you cry and Matt can feel you tilt his chin up and hear the small gasps of horror as you lightly traced over his cuts and bruises.

“I messed up. I messed up so badly. I-”

Matt just wrenches himself away from your grip, feeling intensely unworthy of your affections as he curls himself into a ball. Why had he thought this was a good idea to come back? He should have just reappeared at work one day when his injuries subsided.

_But she asked for me. She went looking for me. She almost got killed because of me._

He owed you an appearance at the very least.

“Hey, don’t run away,” you grabbed him back, pulling his head into your chest. “I’ve not even started telling you off.”

He laughs despite himself, “Tell me off, huh?”

“For putting yourself in danger, for going after Fisk again of all people.”

“I think that’s-” he starts but realises he’s about to say 'hypocritical’ and he’s supposed to have no knowledge of your gangland antics. “I think that’s fair.”

“Damn right, it’s fair.”

“I’m just…I’m so tired.”

He placed his hand on your cheek and felt the slight frown that rippled through the skin. You were unhappy with him? No, your mouth was upticked. You were concerned.

“Come on,” you say before lifting him up and slinging his arm over your shoulder before dragging him towards the bedroom.

You help him lie down, taking his shoes off before he feels the bed bow and knows you’re getting in with him. He catches a faint scent of vanilla as your hair swishes near his face. God you smell good.

“I’m sorry,” he says again. “That doesn’t sound nearly sufficient enough but I am really sorry. I tried to help you and all I’m doing is causing you pain.”

“You did help me, Matt. You got me out of that sexist shithole of a firm.”

Matt snorts inelegantly, “Well sure but all I’ve seemed to do since is make you worry or question yourself.”

“And you saved me from a mugger too. Listen, it’s not a burden for me to be worried about you. I care, you know? I mean…in a sort of…uh…”

He finds your backtracking endearing and he hears the blood flush as it brightens your cheeks. He loved how shy you were around him when in real life you didn’t take crap from anybody.

“You care huh?”

“Yeah like….in a…friendly way?”

Oh…

Friends…

Matt felt like his heart was being crushed. Is that all you wanted? Had he drastically misread the situation?

“I see.”

The silence just hung in the air between you.

 

**

 

You felt horrible.

The second the word 'friendly’ came out of your mouth you saw Matt’s face fall. He tried to hide it well but you’d already seen the split second emotion.

Friendly was not the word you wanted to use but your boss/employee relationship with Matt was already nearing a point of no return and you weren’t sure whether he wanted to tip it over….until now.

“Actually you don’t see,” is the phrase that came out. Awful awful humour.

Matt looks near your direction and just starts laughing, “That is true. You know what I like about you? You don’t shy away from my condition. Too many people tiptoe around it.”

“My uncle was blind,” you lean back into the pillows. “He could play soccer better than I could.”

There was that million watt smile of his. Even with a face full of bruises he still managed to look handsome.

“Ah so that’s it. Well I appreciate it all the same.”

He suddenly seems to sag, his body relaxing as his eyes flutter shut for a moment. It’s like all the fight and his spirit has left him.

“Matt?”

“I’m alright,” he says faintly. “I’m just tired. Would you mind if I rested?”

“Not at all. I’ll be right here. You interrupted my sleep after all, I could probably do with some more.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Stop apologising and get some sleep.”

“I thought  _I_  was the boss and should be ordering  _you_ around?”

“Matt, just sleep.”

 

 

**

 

He was sure it was sometime in the afternoon. The apartment was west facing and the sun was low enough to start warming the edge of the bed. That’s where his leg had kicked out.

After taking a deep breath in and smelling vanilla, Matt became acutely aware you were in his arms, your back pressed against his chest. He had no idea when that had happened.

He froze, not knowing what to do. Were you aware? Were you still asleep?

For one moment he savoured the touch of your body, the soft skin under your t-shirt that had ridden up. God your skin was so warm.

You just fitted so perfectly against him. He wished he could keep you like this forever.

But he pulled away. He pulled away because it was the right thing to do.

After all, you said you only cared for him as a friend.

He was shocked when you decided to roll over, chasing his touch as his hand left your waist and you buried your face into his chest before sighing contentedly. Surely you mustn’t know what you were doing, right?

“Matt?” you say groggily. “Are you still here?”

“I’m still here sweetheart,” he says softly.

“You didn’t run away this time.”

“No, I’m right here.”

“I’m glad.”

Matt felt ridiculously happy at that statement though he didn’t know why.

“Let me take you to a coffee shop I know,” he offers. “Least I can do. I mean, hot drinks are kinda our thing now, right?”

“As long as there are waffles, I’m in,” he felt you smile.

“Done.”

You got up and dressed yourself before retrieving his glasses and the two of you set off into the world, just reconnecting in that way that you used to before. Matt always felt so at peace when he was around you. He just wished he could tell you that.

He could tell you one thing though.

“Uh, you’ve got whipped cream on your nose.”

 

**

 

Back at Nelson & Murdock, after the weekend you spent just touring around New York with Matt, Foggy didn’t really seem to be too surprised at Matt’s almost faded bruises. In fact, he was more interested in the fact you’d spent the weekend together.

“So….” he says when you’re both alone in the main office. “Two whole days huh?”

“Shut up, Foggy.”

“I will not,” he grins. “Did you…you know?”

“Have coffee? Yeah.”

“Oh wow, so  _that’s_  what they’re calling it these days. I am so not down with the kids.”

“Foggy, people in the  _fifties_ were using coffee as euphemisms but that’s beside the point. We just…hung out. Besides, I thought you were against office romance.”

“I was,” Foggy chances a quick look through the glass at Karen who’s filing something away in a drawer. “But now it’s just annoying watching you two moon over each other.”

Matt suddenly bursts in, “Turn that TV up.”

“Huh?” Foggy questions.

You’d barely noticed the little TV on in the background. It served more as white noise whilst everyone got on with their day.

When Foggy upped the volume, you took an audible breath.

“-Frank Castle, aka The Punisher, arrested three days ago, is still currently awaiting trial.”

Frank. The guy who held you at knifepoint. He was the Punisher? He was the one taking out groups of crime gangs?

You supposed you could sort of see it. The man definitely had a code of honour because he immediately stopped threatening you when you had a panic attack. Your whole opinion of Frank just changed even further.

“Hey, Matt,” Foggy starts, still not taking his eyes off the TV. “We need a high profile case right? Has Castle got an appointed lawyer?”

“You want Nelson & Murdock to represent him?” Matt’s head whips up so fast. “A murderer?”

“A vigilante,” Foggy points out. “It’ll get us more business.”

“Maybe Matt wants to wait until Daredevil gets caught because he’s a better type of vigilante,” you joke and Foggy bursts out laughing but you catch the minute flinch that Matt does.

_You know who he is, don’t you? You know who Daredevil is? You wouldn’t react that way otherwise._

“You want the case Foggy, you and Ace can head it up but it’ll be difficult and you’ll likely lose it,” Matt says grimly.

“Well that was a nice pep talk, Matty,” Foggy rolls his eyes. “Nice to know you have so much faith in us.”

“I do, I do have faith but Castle is obtuse,” Matt curls his lip. “He won’t help himself on the stand.”

“Do you know him?” you ask.

“I’ve read the files,” Matt nods. “They were looking for attorneys this morning so I checked it over. Still not given an answer.”

“Let us do it,” you stand up. “If we put on a good enough show, maybe it’ll get more traffic to the office. We have nothing to lose at this point.”

“Fine, but Ace, a word in my office?”

“Uh oh, you’re in trouble,” Foggy snorts before flipping the channel over to cartoons.

You walk with Matt into his office and he shuts the door before turning to you with a heavy sigh.

“Castle is dangerous. I-”

“I know, Matt, I know. Frank was the one who had me hostage on the roof. I’m well aware.”

“Then you have a personal interest. I can’t let you be on this case.”

“I don’t care, Matt. I want to do this. I want to show that it won’t beat me. I want to show that I can do my job. Please, just let me do this.”

Matt comes up to you, his hand under your jaw and his thumb resting on your chin, “I’m just worried.”

“I’m a big girl, I can take care of myself,” you smile at him but he doesn’t return it.

“I…..” Matt looks like he wants to say more but you’re pretty stubborn when it comes to matters like this.

“I’ll be fine,” you repeat. “I can do this. Foggy and I will go down to lock up today to see if he’ll even take us first.”

Matt opens his mouth once more but nothing comes out and to your surprise, he leans forward and kisses your cheek gently, “Be safe.”

What in the world possessed you to turn your face and softly kiss his lips? You had no idea but you did it.

You expected him to back off, run away but he stood there and accepted it.

God this thing between you was complicated. It was like you were simultaneously trying to keep your emotions buried and be professional but the urges kept bursting out of you and honestly you could’ve knocked him back onto his desk and had him right there.

There’s a tiny little smirk that crosses Matt’s face before he pulls away completely, “I could get used to that.”

“If you’re that concerned about my wellbeing, Matt, come with us. You  _are_ the co-owner of this firm after all.”

Matt just sighs long and hard, “You’ve twisted my arm, I’ll come. For the record, I don’t like it though.”

“Nobody said you had to. Let’s go, we’ve got a Punisher to defend.”


	10. The Defendant

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The biggest case Nelson & Murdock has ever had and it had to be Frank Castle…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy reading guys!  
> \- TLP xx

You walked into the interview room not expecting much. There he was though. Frank Castle. The Punisher.

He looked beat up, sporting some heinous black eyes that looked like the bruising would take weeks to heal. His hands were cut up too and you took notice of his wince whenever he moved his foot. Seemed like he had bandages on them by the way his custody issue shoes were bulging.

Frank took no notice of Foggy, but he definitely took notice of you. His eyes travelled from your face to your arm, which was crooked and leading Matt into the room.

It’d been an odd request Matt had made. He was usually very good at getting about on his own but he’d insisted you escort him in. You didn’t know why though.

“Suit doesn’t suit ya,” Frank says gruffly to you. “Liked ya much better in ya winter clothes.”

“Good thing we’re not here to discuss my fashion tastes, Mr Castle,” You set the tone, sitting across from him

“Ya know,” he starts, leaning back as far as the chains will allow him. “You can call me Frank. I think we’ve seen the worst of each other enough to do that.”

“Not even close,” you can’t help but pointedly stare at the man across from you

“I’m sorry, do you…know each other?” Foggy glances between you two.

“He’s the one who was on the roof,” Matt says flatly, and you could have sworn that if Matt had sight, he’d be glaring at Frank right now.

“Oh….. _oh_ …,” Foggy realises before he sits down. “Well, that makes this awkward.”

“Naww, not awkward,” Frank smirks slightly. “Because ya ain’t gonna do shit ‘bout this trial. Let me go down. I deserve it. I’m done.”

“You don’t mean that,” you shake your head. “You wouldn’t be up on rooftops trying to clean up this city if you were done.”

Frank’s eyes flashed momentarily,  like he wasn’t expecting you to be on his side at all. In comparison, you feel Matt stiffen next to you like your statement had made him incredibly angry.

“Even after I held a knife to ya throat, huh?” Frank chuckles. “Girl, you got issues. Can’t imagine they payin’ ya much for this.”

“No they’re not,” Foggy interrupts. “But we’re here to stop you getting the death penalty, Frank.”

“I don’t care,” he spat. “I ain’t got nothin’ to live for.”

“Then make it right for her,” Matt cuts in, sharply, nodding towards you. “You fucked up. You hurt her. The least you can do is make it up to her.”

You watched Frank’s face fall a little, eyes shifting guiltily to you and you knew Matt’s words had hit home. Whatever else Frank may be, you know he was a man of honour and pride. What he’d done to you, causing your panic attack, it hadn’t sat right with him and he still carried that shame.

“You and you, get out,” Frank points to you and Foggy. “I need to speak with him alone.”

“It’s alright,” Matt says quietly. “Do what he says.”

There’s a moment where your hand squeezes Matt’s thigh and you don’t know whether it’s to comfort him or yourself. You didn’t get the impression that Frank would hurt  _you_  but you couldn’t say the same for anyone else for that matter

“I’ll be fine,” Matt whispers to you as you and Foggy both leave, shutting the door behind you.

“That didn’t feel right.” You immediately confessed to Foggy.

“I don’t know what his game plan is,” Foggy sighs, shaking out his shaggy hair. “I think he wants to die and when your client is dog gone suicidal….”

“This is a no win case.” you finish.

“How are  _you_  holding up?” Foggy asks. “I didn’t realise that he was the one who did that you.”

“I’m fine,” You answer honestly. “I thought I’d be more scared but… I’m not.”

“Well, that’s something positive at least.” Foggy smiles. “Shall we get coffee? I think it’s gonna be a long day.”

You nodded your approval with the faintest of smiles. “Sure, sounds like a plan.”

 

**

 

Matt overheard your conversation with Foggy outside, his enhanced hearing coming in handy. He was happy to know, that you’d suffered no ill effects from Frank’s interception.

“So what do you want with me?” Matt asks roughly.

“Oh…just to talk….Red,” Frank leans forward, a sly grin on his face.

Everything within Matt clenched. 

Shit! How had he known?! The entire point of the Daredevil outfit was to keep his identity secret.

“Red? Is that some cute reference to my glasses?” He bluffs.

“Cut the shit, Red. I know who ya are,” Frank growls. “Think I don’t see ya hangin’ onto that girl like ya afraid she gonna get hurt? I ain’t a stupid man. I worked out ya blind when I let the flashbang off. Now a blind lawyer comes in with  _her_ … You’re all over her. Ya let slip you knew her in real life. Guess I gotcha now.”

Matt said nothing, his mind running at a thousand miles an hour. Frank could ruin him. Frank could reveal everything and not only get him arrested for vigilantism but sabotage Foggy’s, Karen’s and your trust in him too.

“I don’t know who this Red person is, Frank,” Matt counters coolly. “So if this is some strange test or game, I’m not playing. I’m here to win your case.”

“Denyin’ it is stupid,  _Murdock_ ,” Frank tsks. “I saw ya leave her apartment a few times and I saw Daredevil on the rooftops more. You’re him. Bingo.”

Matt snapped. He didn’t like where this was heading and he hated Frank’s tone because it toed the edges of a threat. 

“Well if I’m him, be careful what you say to me,  _Punisher_ ,” he hisses.

Frank just bursts out into laughter, “Think I give a shit, Red? What am I gonna do, huh? I’m chained up like an animal. Ya convinced me in the damn graveyard, I’m done. I got no reason to go after your girl but thanks for confirmin’ what I knew.”

It’d be a trick. Frank had deliberately played at being menacing to get Matt to admit who he was. Shit. Shit.  _Shit._

“My statement still stands,” Matt says quietly. “Do it for her. Don’t plead guilty. You owe her.”

“And if ya didn’t get in my way all the time, I wouldn't’ve  _had_  to do that,” Frank points out. “But fair is fair. I traumatised her and I’m a piece a’ shit for that. I’ll hear her out but I don’t want ya fuckin’ near this case. Got it? Just me, and her and your long haired friend.”

“No dice,” Matt says immediately.

“Scared?” Frank quirks up an eyebrow contemplatively. “Of what?”

In truth, everything. A million paranoid thoughts flung around Matt’s mind because Frank was putting them there. He could smell the heightened adrenaline wafting from the ex-marine. He could hear the dangerously low heart beat that signalled chaos charging their way. Everything about it was telegraphing; Frank had a plan, and he didn’t like it.

“One session where I’m here,” Matt offers. “Then I’ll go.”

“Ya think I’ll tell her, don’t ya?” Frank surmises. “She don’t know. She don’t know her precious boss has been lyin’ to her for  _months_.”

“Shut up,” Matt spits, frustration evident. “She doesn’t need to know. That knowledge could get her killed.”

“Because that’s worked out so well,” Frank snorts. “How long 'fore Fisk’s men catch up to her? Ya gotta tell her, Red.”

“When I’m good and ready to. Not before and certainly not because you said so.” Matt stands up, his anger getting the better of him.

“'Aight,” Frank sighs. “Ya got your one session right here n’ then you don’t come back or else I tank this trial.”

“You’re holding her career hostage now?” Matt’s shook with rage.

“Naww, I just wanna die n’ no one will let me,” Frank says seriously. “If ya do this, I’ll make an effort. I’ll try to go on.” He admits plainly.

The underlying pain creeps back into the tone and Matt sits down, softening a little. Frank was an incredibly broken man and he needed to remember that sometimes. The gruff exterior was just the shell he projected to the world.

“Alright, I agree,” Matt nods. “But if you hurt her, if you tell her….you’ll wish I killed you.”

“Red, Red, Red…..” Frank chuckles. “Ya don’t kill.”

“I would for her. Make no mistake about that.” 

 

**

 

Matt brings you both back in after refreshing himself in the bathroom. The cold water felt good to splash over his face; it calmed his nerves. He hadn’t realised how much tension he’d been carrying throughout that conversation.

_God, I’m in way over my head with this. Why did I have to catch feelings for her? Why did she have to reciprocate them? This would be so much easier if you were just an employee._

_But be real, Matty. You knew she was special when you were on opposite sides. Why else would you want her in your firm? You wanted her close and now look what’s happened._

“Are you okay?” You cut into his daydream, barely audible.

“Yeah, fine, just thinking,” Matt nods, turning his attention back to the matter at hand.

“An insanity plea?” Frank says in disgust at Foggy’s suggestion. “I ain’t insane.”

“We can move on the basis of trauma. Your wife and kids. That’s a powerful subject. Your record in the military is spotless and you’ve always been a law abiding citizen,” Foggy tries to convince him. “You’re a paragon of the USMC and seeing something so awful, made you snap. You’ve never gone after an innocent either. These are all good points to stop you getting the death penalty.”

“I ain’t insane,” Frank repeats, leaning over. “I fuckin’ enjoyed it. I enjoyed takin’ those sons of bitches out. Fuck every last one a’ them.”

“That’s….not a great start,” Foggy sighs, resting his head in his hand. “We’ll need to work on this.”

“I know you might have enjoyed it,” you take over. “Maybe you even feel righteous in doing it, but the law just doesn’t see it that way. If you were a cop, sure, maybe you could get away with some of this stuff. Let’s face it, you’re an ordinary civilian.”

“I’m a marine, girl,” Frank retorts.

“Not any more,” you fire back. “The sooner you start realising that, the better. You’ll never go back to the army. This is it for you right now.”

“So ya want me to plead innocent? Plead insanity? Maybe I’ll get out in twenty years and find a nice lil’ new wife and pop out some more kids and live in a white picket fence house, huh? Is that what I got to dream about? Ya volunteering?”

Matt knew Frank was trying to deliberately goad him, tormenting him for being here but he kept his cool. Oh how he desperately wanted to punch that bastard and teach him some manners…but now was not the time. Especially with you present.

“Like you could handle me,” you sass. “I’m trying to give you a do over in life, Frank. Fight me all you want, but this is what’s best for you.”

“Oh, I could handle ya darlin’,” Frank chuckles. “Like a lil’ kitten. I know what could make ya purr.”

Slam!

Matt jumped at the loud noise as Foggy rammed his fist on the table.

“Enough! Is that how you speak to women? Have you no manners?”

“Ya right, sorry,” Frank mumbles his apologies.

But Matt caught it. There was just the slightest scent of arousal in the air and it made him rage with jealousy. Frank had enjoyed your little back and forth too much and Matt didn’t like that  _at all_. He was about five seconds away from calling the whole deal off because the thought of leaving you and Foggy alone with this guy made his skin crawl.

_What if she prefers him? What would I do then? Am I just setting myself up for failure here? I’m not the most manly guy around and I can already tell there’s some sexual tension there. This can’t be a good idea at all._

Your reply was firm. “Damn right, you’re sorry. Get back on track here, Castle. This is the plan, and you’re going to rehearse it and parrot it back to me like a good soldier. Understood?”

Frank considers it, then slowly, painstakingly slowly declares his decision. “Got it.”

“Good. We have an understanding then.” you nod. “We’ll see you tomorrow to work out the finer details.”

Frank says nothing and opts to grunt his approval instead, like he’s embarrassed to meet your gaze now. You’d handled him well, playing to his training and not taking the bait.

“You guys go on first, I have one closing thing to say to Frank,” Matt urges you and he’s sure you shot him an incredulous look because he can hear the breaths you’re making….hesitant…unsure.

“Come on,” Foggy urges, leading you out.

“What is it, Red?” Frank sighs.

“Just a final warning,” Matt stands up. “I won’t come back here for the consultations ahead and I’ve already laid down the threats I wanted to, but one more for good measure….think about trying to get Ace and we’ll have issues.”

“What?” Frank snorts in derision. “Paranoid now? Think I’m gonna steal ya girl from under ya? Way I see it, you ain’t even sealed the deal yet. She’s a free woman.”

“Stay. Away.” He taps the table with his index finger. Once. Twice.

Frank rolled his eyes, “What makes ya think I want her?”

“What happened to my other senses, Frank? When I became blind?” Matt challenges. “I can smell that you want her so don’t try and bluff me.”

“Believe what you want, Red,” Frank leans back. “I just know I’m gonna be seeing a whole lot more a’ her in the future.”

Matt wanted to hit him desperately,  _so_ badly, but refrained.

Even after their candid conversation in the graveyard, even after Matt’s firm had taken his case, this guy  _still_  wanted to be an asshole to him. Well fine, if that’s the way he wanted to play it, he’d just have to reveal his hand to you. Consequences be damned.

He caught up to you and Foggy and put his arm very obviously about your waist. He could feel your surprise and heard Foggy’s voice pitch up a notch whilst he was speaking.

“-I mean he’s just going to be stubborn and………Matty, what are you doing?” Foggy questions.

“What does it look like I’m doing?” Matt says levelly.

“It looks likeeeee you have your arm around Ace.”

“So I do.” Matt can’t help but smile.

“But…you’ve  _never_  been blatant about stuff like this,” Foggy is obviously suspicious and he turns to you. “Are you okay with this? I mean…I thought you both wanted to keep things on the down low and well…..not start an office romance.”

“I don’t know,” you shrug. “I was just kinda taking his lead on it.”

“I’m trying something new,” Matt announces in the silliest way possible. “It’s called 'not running away from your feelings’.”

Foggy laughs, “Well I never thought I would see the day. Alright then, you two. I can’t say Karen will be happy about it… but good luck to you both. I’m gonna leave you two lovebirds to it and head home. Today has just been….wow….headfuck.” He huffs an airy laugh.

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” Matt felt you leave his arm and hug Foggy.

“Bye!”

“So….” you say after a minute of awkward silence. “Not running away, huh?”

“No. Not this time.” Matt smiles at you. “I can’t keep being a dick about it and messing you around. I realised how much I hurt you when I snuck off and that made me feel…well it made me feel just awful. So, it may take me some time to get used to thinking this way but…I wanna try being more overt if that’s something you’re happy with.”

“I’d like that,”Joy radiated off you, from the smile he was sure adorned your face; from the slight playful undertone in your voice. God you were adorable.

As soon as he reached for your hand and you took it, he felt a little safer. He felt a little more secure now. The prospect of you spending time with Frank frightened him less because now, he knew you were willing to be public with whatever it was you had going on.

_You can’t take her from me, Frank. Whatever you try and do, it won’t work. You can’t take her._


	11. The Plea

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s your first day doing trial prep with Frank and Matt’s not happy at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter warnings: Mentions of past trauma, angst
> 
> (Possible proof reading errors)
> 
> Happy reading!   
> \- TLP xx

Matt was dreading today.

Today was the day you visited Frank alone...well...with Foggy but it might as well  _be_  alone. He knew what the ex-marine was capable of.

He'd formulated a plan to make sure there was no possibility Frank could charm you away from him. Matt was going to give you the most attentive morning, the most open display of affection he could.

That was always his downfall in past relationships, trying to hide things away, be too private. He couldn't make that mistake with you because he'd lose you if he did.

So here he was, outside your apartment building with a hot chocolate in hand and a chocolate cake from Carlo's. This was the first step.

He hears your footsteps, that gait that favoured your right leg. It was a symptom of your incident, he was sure of it. Getting stabbed had weakened the muscles on your side.

“Hi,” comes the breathless response. You'd obviously been rushing. “I didn't expect-”

“Breakfast with a smile?” he grins, handing over the cocoa and cake. “I mean it's not the healthiest breakfast sure but it's delivered with a smile at least.”

“Unhealthy breakfasts are the best breakfasts,” you laugh. “Thank you. I always feel bad I've never got  _you_  anything.”

“But you do,” Matt extends his arm for you to take. “You give me happiness from your reaction. I always look forward to hearing the joy in your voice.”

He can hear the blood rushing to your cheeks as you blush. You're fidgeting awkwardly as though you've never been complimented before.

“Shall we?” you cough, trying to mask your embarrassment.

“Actually I want to take you somewhere.”

“Are we not going to work?”

“Work can wait,” Matt starts leading you. “You're not at the lock up til one p.m. Come on.”

“Where are we going?” you ask curiously, keeping pace.

“Somewhere special to me.”

He was really breaking out the big guns. He wanted you to know how important you were to him. Maybe then you'd stay with him.

“Really?”

God, the optimism in your voice was enchanting.

Matt took you down several winding streets and he could feel your interest. You clung close to him, squeezing his arm occasionally which he found adorable. You really trusted him, even though he'd done nothing to earn that trust, what with his midnight secret shenanigans and disappearing acts.

He knew when he'd reached his destination because you took in an audible breath.

“I never knew this was here,” you say in wonder.

“Beautiful, isn't it?” he muses. “The wind hits it in such a particular way that it swirls around the spire and there's this slightest whistle that just sings out.”

“I love hearing you describe things,” you lay your other hand on his arm.

Matt didn't know he could smile so broadly but he did. You just gave him a sense of peace he hadn't had in such a long time. It was like he could escape the duality of his life, just for a moment.

“I hear it's even better inside. Not that I can see the stained glass but I can feel the sunlight coming through it.”

“Can we go in? They're not gonna be mad we have food?”

“No,” Matt chuckles softly. “They know me here. This is my church.”

“Thank you for trusting me enough to show me,” you're turning to him and he can feel your excitement, the way your muscles vibrate with anticipation.

He leads you in and you leave his side, gasping as you see what's been previously described as pure art near the altar. A great stained glass window showcasing the Sermon on the Mount. Matt can feel warmth on his skin, amplified and he can tell the colour of the pigment by the temperature; a golden yellow.

“This is...stunning,” you're close to him again, hands around his waist as you lean up and kiss his cheek. “I can see why you like being here. It's quiet, it's pretty and it's peaceful.”

Matt didn't want just a kiss on the cheek though. He wanted the brave you that kissed him so blatantly in the office. A kiss on the cheek was too chaste.

He takes your face in his hands, making his intent clear.

“Right here?” you sound surprised.

It's cute that you were respectful of the church. You really did have a big heart. Matt was so glad he’d saved you from your firm and the sexist assholes that ran it.

“Yeah right here,” he strokes your cheek. “If you want to, of course.”

He felt your lips touch his, just something sweet. That's all he was wanting, nothing more.

“Come on, my turn,” you start pulling him back down the pews. “Now I wanna share something with you.”

You're leading him somewhere unfamiliar, down streets he's never been down. You're getting further and further away from Hell's Kitchen and he's smelling the scent of nature, of trees, of grass.

“We're going to a park?”

“It's something  _in_  the park,” you tell him.

He smells overpowering scents of wildflowers before you stop, taking his hand and guiding it to a tree. He feels the smooth bark and follows the line up, noting it's a cherry tree.

“I come here when I get stressed out,” you explain. “I like sitting under this tree because the smell reminds me of home.”

This was a big thing for you to share and Matt was aware of the gravity of it.

“I bet it looks real pretty in the summer,” he lets his hand wander down a branch, delicately feeling the buds that were yet to sprout.

“It does. Like an explosion of pink cotton candy.”

God, you were even describing things in vivid detail for him now. Nobody ever thought to do that. They all assumed he'd been blind from birth but he remembered the time when he could see. He still remembered colours and brightness.

“Matt, I....when you put your arm around me in the detention centre, I'll admit it confused me a lot. You've been blowing really hot and cold. Can I...oh god, I'm going to mess everything up now, I-”

“It's okay, it's okay,” Matt feels for you, taking your hands and squeezing them reassuringly. “I know I'm all over the place but I wanna be better, for you. You inspire that in me.”

Your fingers leave his before landing on his chest and sliding up towards his neck. Matt takes that as his cue because he holds you close and kisses you, not a soft kiss, not a chaste kiss; one laced with longing, a longing for this to be something more.

He realised, underneath the cherry tree with you firmly in his arms, that he never wanted to let you go.

_Do I...do I love her?_

It was nothing like the feeling he had had with Elektra. Elektra had been so much intense passion and a feeling of daring, a feeling of adrenalin. It'd been draining as much as it was liberating.

With you he felt safe. There was a deep feeling of contentment he could never quite vocalise. It was like his mind just stopped overanalysing and rested.

Elektra was his hell, you were his heaven.

 

**

 

You were so so late for meeting up with Foggy.

You ended up jogging towards the detention centre, weaving in and out of pedestrians until you barrelled into the lobby.

“Where have you been?” Foggy seems flustered. “You and Matt didn't wanna bother turning in?”

“He uh....took me to church,” you flush, feeling like that was such a stupid excuse.

“He...wow, that's huge,” Foggy blinks. “As in he went to pray?”

“Yeah,” you lie, not thinking Foggy would appreciate the fact you played hooky just to make out with your boss. “It's really nice in there. I'm sorry I'm so late, I lost track of time.”

“It's alright,” Foggy waves his hands dismissively. “They're late bringing Frank into the interrogation room anyway. Let's set up.”

You unpack the contents of your briefcase, the plans you have for Frank's insanity plea and his military accolades. You're not quite sure what to expect today given his caustic personality but with Foggy by your side, you know you can handle it.

He's eventually brought in, shuffling uncomfortably on his injured foot. They make to shackle him to the table but you cut in.

“That won't be necessary.”

“It's for your safety, Ma'am,” one of the guards says.

“First off, don't call me Ma'am.. Second, he's not going to harm me. Third, I want those cameras off. It's an invasion of my client's privacy and his right to a private consultation.”

“But-”

“But nothing, son. Do it. It's a legal right.”

The guard nods quietly before walking out and you wait, staring at the camera in the corner until you see the red light blink off.

“Kinda bossy, aintcha?” Frank remarks.

“When I need to be,” you reply, sitting down.

“I like it,” Frank slightly smirks. “Got more about ya than some sweet girl stargazin'.”

“We're not here to talk about my colleague, Mr Castle,” Foggy takes the conversation over. “We're here to talk about your plea.”

“Yeah, sure, 'aight,” Frank nods. “So what script I gotta say?”

“We're hardlining the PTSD angle both in your military career and in what happened to your family. You'll need to describe some of the worst stuff you saw during your tours.”

“Shit, no way,” Frank tenses up, his jawline becoming firmer. “Ain't doin' it.”

“Frank, we need that info. You promised to work with us,” you chip in.

Frank cracks his knuckles uncomfortably, fingers twitching like he's pulling some imaginary trigger. He's nervous and clearly he doesn't want to talk but you know he will because he always sticks to his code of honour.

“Not you,” he points to Foggy. “You get out. I'll talk to her. She knows trauma.”

“You don't need to feel emasculated for experiencing awful things Frank,” you say as gently as you can. “Foggy won't judge you.”

The ex-marine is silent, just staring at the table. You just end up sighing. Guess he was pretty shy about talking about feelings and such.

“I'll go,” Foggy nods, placing a hand on your shoulder. “Make sure you annotate the stories onto the personal statement.”

“Got it,” you give him a thumbs up. “Get me his medical record if you can.”

“I'll swing by the USMC HQ for this state,” Foggy says standing up before turning to Frank. “You give her any trouble and you'll see I'm not this nice all the time.”

“I don't doubt it,” Frank grunts.

Foggy leaves and you get out your pen, ready to take down Frank's life story.

“So go ahead,” you prompt.

“Real bossy,” Frank shakes his head. “Just like my ol' lady used to be. You woulda liked her.”

“Tell me some of the worst things you've seen,” you cut in, eager for this conversation to not be derailed or the subject to be changed.

“Ah girl,” he runs his hands over his face. “Shit ya wouldn't believe. Shit that would make you scream at night.”

“Come on, you said I'd understand. I've had someone try to mug me, rape me when that wouldn't work and then stab me because they panicked.”

You hoped that by sharing most of your own story he'd feel comfortable enough to open up himself.

Frank whistles, “Shit, I didn't think it was that bad. Now I get why ya freaked out so much. I'm sorry for that.”

You lift your shirt up to show him the scar and you see the pity and guilt that marks his face. You're pretty sure your plan's working because he looks like he's psyching himself up to share something.

“First tour. We got pinned down outside Nakhonay. Some remnants of the Taliban givin' us grief. Never seen a suicide bomber 'fore. Ya don't forget seein' someone spread out over a five metre radius. Kept finding parts around the compound as we went.”

“That sounds awful,” you screw up your face.

“It was, girl. Anythin' with kids sticks with me too. Kept seeing civilian kids getting shot, blown up, used as emotional leverage to make us stop. After a while ya start gettin' numb and then ya feel bad for not feelin' but there ain't no way to find a middle ground where you don't lose ya fuckin' mind.”

You're writing everything down so fervently, trying to get it verbatim that you don't notice he's stood up and leaning over the table before his hands stop yours.

“Why ya fightin' so hard for me? I was a fuckin' monster to you.”

“Because it's right,” you look up at him. “I know you didn't mean what you did, otherwise you wouldn't have helped me through the panic attack. It was all a bluff for Daredevil.”

“Ya got me,” he smiles crookedly. “I don't like hurtin' folks who are innocent.”

“And I'm innocent?”

“No record, good grades, lawyer. Practically a model citizen. I reckon ya ain't so innocent in the sack but that's not a punishable offence.”

You can't help but chuckle at his words.

“Ohhhh,” his smile gets bigger. “Dirty mind, huh? Yeah, Red should be takin' better care a' ya.”

“As much as I'd love to delve into your relationship with him, I need more for this statement,” you try and steer the conversation back. It was veering too much towards flirting for your liking.

Frank sighs before pushing off the table and pacing up and down, “Fine. I had this guy in my squad, Joe. Barely outta the academy, so green he got the nickname 'Broccoli'...do gooder, ya know? We were between Chaman and Kandahar. A splinter group came and threw a grenade under the Humvee. Everyone got out 'part from Joe. We just ran towards cover, pinned down by gunfire. We were there for two days, surviving and so was Joe. He hadn't died in the explosion and they dragged him out, torturin' him to try and make us break cover. I had to hear his screams for three days before they finally gave up n' killed him.”

“Yeah I think the jury is definitely going to be favourable hearing stuff like that,” you wince, finishing up transcribing his story. “Honestly, I'm surprised any military personnel come out sane after witnessing stuff like that.”

“Ya don't,” Frank answers bluntly, stopping his pacing. “Ya just bury it so deep it can't bother ya any more, ya cover it up with humour, get lost in someone else. Anything.”

“Maybe I need to try that,” you murmur, more to yourself then to him.

“Naww, girl. You're stronger than ya think,” Frank comes round to your side of the desk, sitting on the table next to you. “You faced me after what I did n' ya coulda just left ya long haired friend to do that. Takes guts. You're a survivor.”

Looking up at him, you saw how much his life had taken a toll. You couldn't ever hate him for what he did because that was his way of coping with his loss and his trauma. He'd never meant to hurt you and you'd actually been a secret supporter of how he'd taken out the top gang leaders in New York. It'd meant people like your old mugger was no longer able to get access to drugs so easily and that was surely a good thing.

“So are you, Frank. So don't tank this trial. You're meant for more than this.”

He looks surprised, “Ya support what I did? What I done?”

“Yes.”

“Red ain't gonna like that,” he chuckles. “Red's all about preserving human life.”

“People like the gang leaders don't deserve to be preserved. They're not gonna change their ways with thirty years of time. They'll just continue on the inside and pick up where they left off when they get out. Serial killers aren't just going to wake up one day and be functioning members of society. Paedophiles aren't just going to suddenly change their sexual proclivities after jail time.”

You're thinking hard about your mugger's trial and the military history that was read out regarding his many many disciplinaries, how he'd bordered on war crimes with his methods of torture on prisoners, how he'd got a raft of assault and sexual assault crimes under his belt when he was dishonourably discharged. He'd been bad through and through and nothing had helped him to go on a different path.

“Yeah...if Red has a romantic interest in ya, it ain't gonna last long with views like that,” Frank proclaims. “He's too soft.”

“He's nice though,” you look at the table. “He helps people. He helped me when I got myself in an idiotic situation of being captured by drug dealers to prove a point.”

“I woulda done the same too if I'da known, helped ya that is,” Frank says quietly. “And give ya shit for being dumb.”

“I've already had that talk,” you roll your eyes. “Now let's get back on track. Any more colour testimony you can think of?”

But he doesn't speak. He's leaning over you and you realise just how hulking he really is. You're not quite sure what's going on until his hand covers yours, dwarfing it completely.

“You've really suffered, aintcha?” Frank says, meeting your gaze.

“Not as much as you.”

“If I do this, if I plead temporary insanity....will you stick by me throughout the trial? No matter what?”

“Even if it fails, I'll appeal,” you say seriously. “You're not meant for a life time in prison, Frank.”

“You're somethin',” Frank's hand is starting to wander up your arm, stroking it.

Looking into his eyes, you're seeing something there you didn't expect and you pull away from him hurriedly. He seems hurt for a second before his features rearrange back into his default standoffishness, his cockiness.

What you saw was something beyond a grateful interest. Frank liked you...like... _liked_  you. With what was going on with Matt right now, you needed to stop this before it went too far. It wasn't fair and it wasn't right. You couldn't get caught up in a bad boy with a tragic past when you had someone as lovely as Matt who was so good to you, so kind and so thoughtful. You felt guilty that you'd even had a split second where you entertained the thought of Frank continuing.

_Fuck, I'm a horrible person. Get it together. Do your job._

“So this statement,” you cough, “I'm going to need the story of your family.”

Frank's expression darkens tenfold and he subconsciously moves away from you. It was a dirty tactic bringing his family up but it had had the desired effect. He was no longer flirting with you.

“I gave my statement at the time,” he says thickly. “Ain't gotta dredge it up again. Look it up and do ya damn research.”

“Sore point, I get it,” you make notes.

There's a slam on the table that startles you as Frank bangs his fist down and you get up on reflex, ready to bolt out of the door. He's too quick though, he's already boxed you into the wall, grabbing you by the lapels of your suit jacket and you have no idea what to do.

“Sore point? Fuckin'  _sore point_?” his voice is cracking, trying to fight back tears. “I had my little girl die in my fuckin' arms. My little girl I had no time to read a bedtime story to the night before. I was never there enough and I shoulda been. I lived when they all died.”

“I'm sorry,” you shrink back.

He looks at your frightened face and lets go immediately, “Shit, I didn't mean to make ya scared.”

“It's fine. It was my fault. I shouldn't have been blasé.”

“This is too fuckin' raw,” he shakes his head. “I can't be on the fuckin' stand n' listen to every fuckin' thing about how I failed them. I can't do this.”

“You can. You'll do it for them,” you take him by the shoulders. “You'll do it for everyone who's lost people to the scum of this world and can never get justice.”

You're so surprised when he suddenly gives you a soft kiss on the cheek before going back to sit down on his side of the table, patiently tenting his hands.

“Thanks...I mean that. Thanks for believin' in me,” he says quietly.

You move back to your own chair and just after you'd sat down, Foggy re-enters holding a stack of files.

“Got everything you need?” he asks, looking at the demure scene in front of him.

“Yeah, yeah I think I do,” you nod.

Your pocket starts vibrating at that moment, “Hey Foggy, take over. I've got a call.”

“Sure.”

You get outside and see it's Matt calling and you feel nervous taking the call although you don't know why.

“Hey,” you answer.

“Hey beautiful,” his chipper voice comes through. “How is it going?”

“I've just got the colour testimony for the PTSD plea, Foggy's got his medical and military records. We're making progress.”

You hope your voice doesn't give anything away because you know he'll pick it up.

“I was wondering, would you like to come over to mine tonight? I'd like to cook for you.”

“That sounds really nice. We should be done in about two hours or so.”

“Perfect. I hope you like Italian food.”

“Definitely one of the ways to my heart,” you laugh.

“I'll meet you back at work, sweetheart. Bye.”

“Bye.”

The smile that spread across your face was all the affirmation you needed. You cared for Matt and you should stop being taken in by Frank's strange magnetism.

You were looking forward to the evening and some part of you was thrilled that you'd be around Matt's place again.

_Time to get back in there and get this trial prep done. It's only two more weeks. You can do this._

 

_**_

 

Matt almost crumpled when he heard the hesitation, the slight pitch shift in your voice when you answered.

You weren't telling him the whole truth. Something had happened.

His mind went crazy with the possibility that Frank could've harmed you, that he might have tried to hit on you. Would you have reciprocated?

_Shit, I should've asked her to be my girlfriend. This is leaving things too open._

He came up with an idea and he invited you over for dinner. He planned to ask you then, providing it was not too late.

He was relieved to hear the enthusiasm in your voice and the joking nature come back. That at least erased the possibility that you'd done anything romantic with Frank but he needed to let you know exactly how he felt before something happened.

_You need to tell her, Matty. Tell her you love her. Tell her about Daredevil. Tell her everything._


	12. Testimony

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Matt never gets a day of peace

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Warnings: Angst
> 
> (Proof reading errors likely)
> 
> Happy reading!  
> \- TLP xx

Matt was moving around his kitchen, cooking things at various temperatures. He could smell when the potatoes were just coming up to that soft and fluffy stage and took them off the stove.

He had to get this right tonight. He was in real danger of losing the bond he’d made with you because Frank was deciding to be an asshole and mess with him for fun. He wished you didn’t have to be so charming, so enticing to everyone you came across. It was a real pain in the ass.

His phone began ringing, loudly screeching out the name ‘Father Lantom’.

“Hello?” he answers.

“Matthew, there’s men in the church! They’ve got us locked in the vestibule!”

His heart drops. Lantom was in trouble and that meant he needed to leave…but he’d just told you to come over. There was no way he could do both things. He needed to pick one.

“Matthew?!”

“I’m coming. Stay put, don’t be a hero,” Matt says resolutely, hanging up before he turned off the oven and went to fetch his trunk with his Daredevil outfit.

God, he didn’t even have time to tell you what was going on. He just had to run straight out of his apartment down the fire escape and make a beeline for the church across the rooftops as fast as he could.

He hoped you would understand but he didn’t think you would. He knew you’d take this as a rejection. What could he do though? Let Father Lantom potentially die? He couldn’t live with that on his conscience.

He thought of how you’d be, waiting for him to answer the door and him not appearing. The thought of making you upset wrenched his heart but this was the life he chose.

The life of a vigilante was never paved with happiness.

 

**

 

You packed up your stuff from lock up and said your goodbyes to Foggy before setting off for Matt’s apartment.

You were really looking forward to spending a nice normal evening with him and he seemed to be much more overt lately about what his intentions with you were. Perhaps this whole office relationship thing was going to work out after all.

You still felt a little guilty about your interaction with Frank though. It was a little too intense and a little too close.

God, you really had a knack of attracting emotionally unstable men….

When you got to Matt’s, you rapped smartly on the door and waited. It surprised you that he wasn’t already most of the way up the stairs because Matt had a tendency to hear people coming before they even knocked.

You tried again and there was silence. You could smell the faintest aroma of cooked meat and gravy wafting through the door so you know he wasn’t blowing you off.

You tried his cell and it just rang out to a voicemail so you dialled again. Putting your ear to the door, you could hear something vibrating, like something on wood.

What the hell was going on?

“Matt?” you call through the door but no answer comes.

What if he’d been hurt? What if his hearing had gone somehow? You needed to get in there to make sure he was alright.

It felt highly unethical to consider what you were thinking, to break into his apartment but you were worried. You took out the little Swiss army knife you kept in your purse, a relic of a time when you were much more frightened to be out on the streets alone, and got out the thick blade attachment, moving to the hinges.

You’d represented enough victims of burglary in your time to know some of the tenement blocks in Hells Kitchen were unreasonably old and the doors were not exactly the most security conscious. I mean it was a sad day for you when you were taking tips from criminals but it was important.

You levered up the hinge, popping the door out from its frame with a bit of effort before you set it to the side, rushing in.

You don’t know if you were expecting to see Matt flat out on the floor, slumped over the stove or what but you didn’t expect to see nothing. He had obviously cooked dinner because most of it was set out in pots but what would make him abandon it halfway through?

Matt’s phone was on the coffee table so that would explain why he hadn’t answered.

“Matt?” you call. “You in here?”

Still silence.

You spot a trunk that’s been pulled out from a hiding space in the wall and your curiosity gets the better of you as you make your way over and squat down. There’s nothing in it apart from what seems like a sample scrap of fabric. It’s deep red in colour and feels textured, rough under your fingers.

The mystery of Matt Murdock as a man was only deepening for you and you were questioning whether you really knew anything about him at all. Secret trunks, running off before dinners, disappearing for days on end….what the hell was going on?

You decide to leave the apartment after coming to your own internal logic that an emergency must have happened and he dashed out before he had chance to tell you. It still felt a little hurtful and you were a little dejected but you’re sure he would have an explanation…well you hoped so anyway.

You walked back out, resetting the door into the frame and tightening the hinges with the screwdriver attachment before walking back home, grabbing take out to console you and wondering if Matt was safe, well into the small hours of the night.

 

**

 

Matt didn’t turn up for work again.

You went to Nelson and Murdock before you were due to see Frank, hoping Matt’d be there and would have a smile waiting for you. Foggy just gave you a shrug.

“Told you he does this. Matty is unreliable.”

“But why invite me over and then be a no show?” you leave out the part where you broke in.

“I don’t know,” Foggy sighs. “I really thought he’d turned over a new leaf with you but same ol’ Matt. Come on, we have work to do.”

You walk with each other towards the detention centre, Foggy cracking jokes along the way, desperate to make you laugh. You’d grown really fond of Foggy over the last few months and his unerring optimism. It was the only thing keeping you going with all the uncertainty in your life.

When you get to the interview room, Frank’s already there and he seems to quickly assess your face. You try to keep your expression impassive, to not give away that you were troubled but you don’t think it worked very well. You saw Frank’s lip curl and he seemed pissed.

“So we have the flavour but now we need character testimony,” Foggy starts. “I’m going to need a list of people you’ve worked with before, who know the real you.”

“Like a resumé?” Frank snorts.

“Basically,” Foggy opens his notepad. “I need employers, friends, anyone who can vouch for your character.”

“Try Curtis Hoyle,” Frank says after a while. “He’s the only one who gives me the time a’ the fuckin’ day any more.”

“Alright, that’s a good start,” Foggy writes it down. “And your reporting officer?”

“Ray Schoonover. Owes me a favour. Saved his life,” comes the gruff response.

“Right, I’m gonna get on that,” Foggy nods before looking at you. “Anything else you wanna ask?”

“No, I’m good,” you say, eager to get out, eager to get away from Frank’s astute gaze.

“Then we’ll return tomorrow,” Foggy informs him. “In the mean time, you can call us if you think of anyone else.”

You both get up to leave but Frank interrupts, “I wanna talk to her alone. It’s about….it’s about my kids. I don’t…”

“You don’t wanna talk about it in front of me,” Foggy guesses. “You know I don’t judge man. We all go through shit.”

“'Preciate it,” Frank looks at the table. “All the same, feel more comfortable talkin’ to her. Woman’s ear is better when offloadin’ traumatic shit.”

“I’ll make a start on these then,” Foggy says before whispering to you. “I know you’re not feeling it today but we need his viewpoint on what happened to the family. It’s important.”

“I know,” you whisper back. “Josie’s tonight?”

“You betcha,” Foggy squeezes your shoulder. “Trial starts in two days. Hang in there.”

Then he leaves.

“'Aight, girl, what’s up?” Frank says the second the door is closed. “You ain’t lookin’ happy.”

“Private business,” you say firmly. “Now, your children.”

Frank inhales through his teeth, “I tell ya that, you tell me what’s eatin’ ya. Deal?”

“Oh come on,” you roll your eyes.

“Take it or leave it,” he stares you out. “The worst day of my life for whatever is makin’ the light go outta your eyes.”

“You’re messed up, Castle,” you sigh. “Alright, I’ll bite. You first though. Anything I say will sound awfully mundane.”

“I took my kids to the fair, my wife too,” Frank starts immediately, like he wants to blurt it all out, like he wants to get it over with. “Kinda a celebration thing, ya know? I’d come back from Kandahar n’ wanted to do somethin’ nice. Lisa and my little Frankie, they was buggin’ me for ice cream all day, like 'Daddy, mommy never lets us’. Typical kid shit playin’ parents off the other one. 'Daddy don’t you love us? I want sprinkles’….goddamn sprinkles…..I caved, ya know. I’m a big soft guy at heart. Then Lisa spotted the carousel n’ she hauls me over n’ she says she wants to ride the unicorn. Then Frankie says he likes the lion n’ before I know it, my whole family has ice cream n’ is bobbin’ up n’ down. I laughed n’ laughed n’ I ain’t laughed for weeks. Frankie threw some ice cream at Lisa n’ I saw it hit n’ I was curious 'cause I didn’t remember there bein’ strawberry sauce but there was just red…..then I realised. Then they all started fallin’ down around me n’ I took a bullet to the shoulder. Bastards missed me but my family….it was quick. That’s the only thing I can take from it.”

“I’m sorry,” you’re reaching over the table before you realise, squeezing his hand.

“Wasn’t your fault. Don’t apologise,” Frank looks at your hand. “The days that followed…I wasn’t me any more. I died at that carousel n’ the only thing keepin’ me goin’ is pure hatred.”

“I would’ve done the same thing in your position,” you say quietly and his head snaps up in disbelief. “What, because I’m an attorney I can’t have opinions on our shit justice system?”

“You’re somethin’ else,” there’s the ghost of a smirk. “So….now I’ve spilled my emotional guts out, why are you sad?”

“It sounds silly now.”

“Say it anyway.”

“I was meant to be meeting someone for dinner but they…kinda disappeared. They disappear a lot.”

“Your blind boss, huh?” Frank notes, leaning back. “Don’t seem too reliable.”

“So everyone says,” you mutter.

“N’ you’re put out because he ain’t called,” he guesses.

“Yeah. Told you it was silly.”

“Naw, girl. He’s the silly one,” Frank gives a bitchface look. “You’re smart, you’re a hardass when ya wanna be, you’re a survivor and you’re pretty. If the guy can’t see that n’ fight for that, his fuckin’ loss. Don’t wait around for him to change.”

“But he’s my boss. It’s complicated,” you shuffle awkwardly.

“Ain’t no reason he gotta treat ya like shit,” Frank shrugs. “Ghostin’ ya ain’t healthy, don’t show he’s fully interested.”

“I guess.”

And you knew Frank was right. If Matt had truly had an emergency then why hadn’t he contacted you yet? It’d been over twelve hours. Could you really keep believing there would be something more with this man when he kept disappearing and then reappearing in your life to emotionally unload before going again?

Your mind casts back to when he turned up, bloody and beaten at your door after going after Fisk’s men. Had he done that again?

It didn’t matter though, the point should be that Matt kept hiding things, that he lied. It  _wasn’t_  healthy.

“Hey, I don’t like bein’ negative but the shit you’ve been through, ya don’t deserve to be messed around,” Frank eyes you closely.

“Anyway, I don’t need to relate my dating problems when we have bigger issues,” you try and draw the boundaries.

“S'nice though. Feels….normal. You talk to me like I’m just another guy, not a murderer. I’ve….I’ve missed that.”

“We’ll have plenty of time to talk once you’re acquitted,” you assure him. “I’ll even tell you about the time I went into an abandoned house and pretended to be a ghost to scare my shithead ex.”

Frank starts chuckling, “Now that I gotta hear. You mean it, girl? You’d talk to me after this is over?”

“Sure,” you nod. “I mean you may have given me a panic attack but I know you didn’t really mean me any harm. I know you’re just like me.”

Frank looks like he wants to say something, tries to speak several times and fails before settling on, “Your boss is a fuckin’ moron. Go on now, girl. Go do your research. I just wanted to make sure you were 'aight.”

“Thank you,” you smile slightly as you get up and move to the door.

“Any time… n’ thanks for listenin’ n’ not judging me.”

“Any time.”

 

**

 

Matt finally crawled back to his apartment.

He’d fought off a lot of small time drug dealers who’d been trying to steal the gold and silver from the church but had taken a nasty beating when one had set off a flashbang that had sent his ears ringing. He couldn’t use his senses, all he could rely on was being defensive and that had resulted in him hitting his head on the pews.

Father Lantom had managed to lock out the invaders before taking Matt to recover but he hadn’t realised he’d pass out and wake up at noon the next day.

“I need to go,” Matt says urgently as he swings his legs out from the bed, wincing at the bruising that was forming on his torso.

“Matthew, you need to rest,” Lantom tries to push him back down.

“I can’t, I….I have someone who….”

“Who wonders why you disappeared?” Lantom guesses, sighing before sitting down next to him. “Matthew, one of these days you need to tell somebody. Keeping this a secret, it’s going to eat away at you and it’ll push anybody that’s close far away.”

“I know,” Matt murmurs. “I know. She doesn’t deserve this. Just don’t think I begrudge coming here, okay?”

“I know you always do what’s right. I never doubt that,” Lantom pats him on the shoulder. “But you need to take care of yourself sometimes. I know you always wanted a family someday, don’t eliminate that option by completely surrendering your life to the city.”

“I don’t know if she’d understand,” Matt bites his lip. “I’ve been lying to her, trying to keep her from finding out.”

“Matthew, tell her. She’ll either forgive or…she wasn’t the one for you. Now, I assume nothing I say will dissuade you from charging out of here so go on. Get back to your life and thank you for saving an old man and his trinkets.”

“Any time,” Matt gets up, holding out his hand for Lantom to shake it, which he does.

So now he was back in his apartment, smelling the stale scent of food that hadn’t been stored properly. The first thing he did was get his phone and have it read out his notifications. There were several from you which made his heart clench.  You’d assumed he had some sort of emergency and had ducked out. Then you’d said you were worried about him again and you’d be at the detention centre if he showed up.

Matt felt like dirt, less than dirt. He didn’t deserve your worry. He’d let you down…again.

He was just about to call you when he caught a whiff of something unusual that was around his trunk. He moved towards it, bending down and feeling around, his hands closing on the first piece of test fabric. When he brought it up to his nose, he caught your scent and froze.

That was definitely your perfume. You’d been here. Did you know? Had you worked it out?

He needed to get to the detention centre right away. This was not a conversation for over the phone.

He changed quickly before heading out, noting the door was a lot smoother to work when he pushed it out and to. Was that you? Did you mess with his door to get in?  Were you  _that_  worried? He didn’t think you had any sinister motive for doing it.

As he rushed down the street, his stick tapping in a rhythm, he got to the centre and in the building before he smelled Frank and turned, hearing the jangling of cuffs as he was being walked out.

“Excuse me!” he calls out, moving towards the sound and stopping in front of the guard. “Can I have five minutes with him please? I think my associate left too soon.”

“Yeah she went ten minutes ago,” Frank says.

“In here then,” the guard sighs, guiding them to a room before waiting outside.

“So she’s not long gone?” Matt asks.

“Yeah,” Frank’s incredibly standoffish with him.

“What’s wrong with you?”

“You. Ya got fuckin’ issues, Red. Ya got a girl interested in ya n’ ya wanna vanish all the time.”

“I didn’t have a choice,” Matt hisses in a low whisper. “People were in danger.”

“But she thinks it’s her fault on some level,” he can sense the muscle change as Frank scowls. “You’re a piece a’ shit, ya know? I told ya not to drag her into ya life n’ now she’s sad.”

“She’s….she’s sad?” Matt feels his soul breaking a little. “I’m making her sad?”

“If you’re serious about her, tell her Red,” Frank sighs. “Lyin’ ain’t much good to her.”

“Why did she tell  _you_  anyway?” Matt gets defensive.

“She comes in with a face like chocolate’s been erased from the world, I wanna know why,” Frank replies gruffly.

“Because you’ve taken a liking to her,” Matt squares up to the marine a little.

“Goddamn right I have,” Frank presses his own chest against Matt’s and Matt can feel his every breath. “N’ either you shape up or I’m gonna take it as a sign ya ain’t that interested.”

“Thought you didn’t care for life any more.”

“Well, she’s bringin’ a lil’ bit a’ light back to it. She makes me smile,” Frank’s voice drops out a little. “I feel comfortable tellin’ her what happened.”

“She does bring out the best in everyone,” Matt concedes. “I’m trying to be good to her, it’s just…these gangs keep springing up as fast as I’m dismantling them.”

“Because ya ain’t puttin’ 'em down permanently,” Frank steps away. “Told ya Red, I hit 'em n’ they stay down. You hit 'em n’ they get back up.”

“I’m not doing it your way, Castle.”

“'Aight, fine by me. Just don’t bring her down with you. Girl’s too nice.”

“We’re done here.”

Matt exited quickly, more mad at himself than anything. How could he not have realised that he was making you sad? He knew he’d upset you by disappearing the first time but he really was trying to make more of an effort. He didn’t like the thought at all that you’d spilled your emotional worries to Frank and not him.

_Matty, you need to tell her…not only that you love her, but who you are. It’s only fair. She can make her own mind up then whether she wants you or not. At least you’ll know._

 

_**_

 

You’re walking back to Nelson & Murdock, feeling a little lighter for having shared what’s been playing on your mind. Frank was a very good listener, although you were a little perturbed by how well you were bonding with him. You knew after the trial you wouldn’t see him again for a good while. If the jury accepted the insanity plea and he got transferred to a mental ward, it’d take weeks before they allowed him visitors.

You’re cutting through a side street, eager to note down his colour testimony about his family’s murder so Foggy has his notes. From behind you, there’s the screeching of tyres. You don’t pay it much mind, it’s pretty standard in New York what with the standstill traffic.

Then there’s the running footsteps behind you and your body moves into action before you realise what’s happening. You’re pelting at full speed, your mind starting to race with images of your old attacker and the one last winter too. You wouldn’t make the same mistake again.

You turn back to see two thugs chasing you and you’re thanking God that you wore flat shoes because you would’ve had no chance to outrun them in heels. They were slightly gaining on you.

You turn around, only to smack into a broad chested guy who jams a bag over your head and all you can see is the faint outline of people finally catching up.

You struggle, grabbing for your Swiss Army knife and manage to slice one of your assailant’s forearms. He yelps in surprise before socking you straight in the gut where you double over, wheezing badly.

You recover quickly, fighting against the grip of the person who bagged you, scratching, kicking and punching but you barely seem to be doing any damage.

“Get her in the damn truck, quick!” one of them says and what feels like three pairs of hands pick you up whilst you’re squirming before you’re thrown, hitting something hard and metal before there’s the slamming of doors and the trundling of wheels starting.

Desperately you go to wrench the bag off but someone pins your wrists to the floor.

“Not yet,” comes the voice.

You feel like you’re there ages, your heart hammering wildly. Minutes feel like hours. The vehicle turns so many times you don’t even have an idea of where you are any more.

Then it suddenly stops and you’re yanked to your feet, dragged along blindly until you’re deposited into a chair.

“He’ll be along shortly.”

Then the bag is taken off and you blink as the harsh fluorescent light invades your eyes. It takes a while to adjust but when you do, you see that you’re in a facility…no…wait….

The stark white walls, the barred roof giving the illusion of the outside without any of the freedom, the printed text on the walls…'Recreation Hall’.

You were in a prison. You had no idea why though.

Then the door opens and you understood. You understood exactly why you’d been snatched off the street.

“Good afternoon,” he says, striding forward and crossing his hands behind his back. “Forgive the rough housing but I needed to talk to you. Will you speak with me? I’ve got something important to ask of you.”

It was Wilson Fisk.


	13. Jury Retires

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You’re trapped in the Riker’s Island Prison with Wilson Fisk who has something to ask of you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Warnings: Violence, derogatory language
> 
> (Proof reading errors likely)
> 
> Happy reading!
> 
> \- TLP xx

“Please, don’t get up,” Fisk moves towards you, closer still. “Will you speak with me?”

“I don’t have a choice I think,” you counter, sounding a lot braver than you felt.

Your heart felt like it was going to tear itself in two with the stress. There was an uncomfortable prickling across your skin where the sweat was starting to bead. You were so so fucked right now.

“Astute,” Fisk nods before sitting opposite. “Now, you  _are_  an employee of Nelson & Murdock, correct?”

“Yes,” you think it’s fruitless to lie.

“And you’re one of Frank Castle’s attorneys?”

“Yes.”

“Now see, I’m going to ask you to step aside.”

“Why?” you narrow your eyes.

“For one, I am in need of Mr Castle to be sent here,” Fisk gestures around himself. “That can’t very well happen if he escapes the death penalty on an insanity plea. For another reason, your firm is the reason I’m  _in_  prison in the first place. I don’t want Matthew Murdock to gain a win from this. So I’m asking politely, step aside.”

“You think kidnapping me is polite?”

“How else was I meant to speak with you? Do you have some better suggestion?”

“I can’t step aside.”

Fisk bristles, his lip twitching into a sneer before he settles his face into a default expression. You know you’re playing with fire here but you can’t promise something you won’t do.

“Your reasons?” he says quietly.

“Frank deserves help, not punitive time. I believe in him.”

“You are a foolish girl,” Fisk growls, his knuckles tightening on the rests of the  chair. “If you do not agree, I shall have to keep you here until the trial is over. For a supposed prodigy attorney, they will sorely miss you.”

“I don’t care,” you become stubborn. “I’m not tanking the trial and I’m not walking away. You think Foggy can’t win this without me? You’re too far up your own ass to think anyone else has intellect.”

You don’t see the huge hand coming as it slaps you across the face, rocking your head to the side violently. Your ears start ringing as you swear viciously, the stinging across your cheek burning hotly.

“That was regrettable,” Fisk straightens up. “I didn’t want it to have to come to that. Believe me. Please do not be idiotic. Consider my offer. You have one hour.”

With that, he stands up, leaving you alone in the room. You burst out of the chair, trying every door you can in this room but none of them budge. You’re locked in.

You’re trapped.

 

**

 

Matt looked everywhere for you on the way back to Nelson & Murdock but he didn’t smell your brand of perfume. He tried at your apartment too but you either weren’t there or weren’t answering your door.

He tries calling you but it trips straight to voicemail.

Maybe you’d had enough, maybe you  _did_  start preferring Frank now and he’d blown his chance. He couldn’t blame you for being mad at him. Matt was never present enough.

When the next day came, you didn’t show up for work.

“Something’s wrong,” he says to Foggy. “She’s always punctual to a fault.”

“Matty, maybe she just went straight to counsel Frank. There’s no need to get panicky,” Foggy sighs. “I thought you two were close? Why not call her?”

“She’s not answering. I fucked up Foggy. I invited her for dinner but there was a problem at the church and I didn’t have time to tell her. She thinks I ditched her, I know it.”

“You really need to pull it together,” he can hear Foggy’s disappointed tone, the contraction of his brows into a scowl. “She’s obviously fallen for you and god knows why because you’re a mess of a man and you  _never_  treat any girl right.”

Matt is taken aback at Foggy’s bluntness. He expected his friend to give him a bit of an emotional boost rather than assassinate his character.

“I’m sorry?!”

“You heard me. First Karen and now her? Not to mention your weird thing with Elektra. You can’t commit. Plain and simple. If you really liked her, you would put her first.”

“You’re right,” Matt murmurs, feeling ashamed of himself. “I’ve hurt her enough. I’m just…I’m worried Foggy. This isn’t like her. Can I tag along to the detention centre?”

“Yeah yeah, fine,” Foggy shakes his head. “But I’m warning you, Matty. If you don’t either shape up or leave her alone, you’ll have me to deal with. I’m not picking up your pieces again.”

“Got it.”

And so the two walked in relative silence towards the centre, Foggy only occasionally steering him around obstacles although Matt could navigate them perfectly if he chose to. It was uncomfortable and Matt knew that how his circumstances went with you would now impact greatly on his friendship with Foggy. One way or the other, something had to give.

When they reached the centre and got into the holding room at the agreed time, you were still nowhere to be seen.

“Where’s the girl?” Frank asks immediately.

“Uh, I don’t know,” Foggy answers. “Has she not been already today?”

“Nah, last I saw her was yesterday,” Frank is definitely frowning and Matt can hear his knuckles crack as he grips the table. “She ain’t shown up, huh?”

“What was the last conversation you had with her?” Matt cuts in.

“Besides my kids? It was about you, Murdock,” Frank says gruffly. “I told ya that.”

“And nothing else?”

“Naww. She was headin’ back to your work.”

“Shit,” Matt nervously tugs at his shirt cuffs. “Foggy, handle the next bits of the trial. I need to look for her.”

“Okay,” Foggy nods.

“Are ya tellin’ me she’s missin’?” Frank stands up, the chains rattling as he does so.

“I’ll be back soon,” Matt ignores the question.

“Hey!” Frank bellows. “Don’t ya walk away from me! Answer the damn question! Is she missin’?”

“Yes,” Matt says quietly.

“Get me out,” the marine struggles against the cuffs. “Get me the fuck out now. I wanna help.”

“Frank, the best way you can help her is by not getting the death penalty,” Foggy says firmly. “Understand?”

“Murdock,” Frank calls. “You come back here when ya finished searchin’, ‘aight?”

Matt says nothing but walks out. He felt like Frank had shown him up, sounded more concerned than he was. Maybe the marine was right and he should’ve stepped aside because all Matt could think was that something awful must have happened to you and it was all his fault. He’d failed you.

He left the centre, tracing the route that you would’ve taken to get back but he couldn’t pick up any trace of you. Maybe you’d taken a shortcut? Maybe you’d intended to stop off somewhere else first?

He ended up wandering around various alleyways nearby until something caught his attention. It was the vaguest smell of chocolate mixed with spice…no….gingerbread! That had to be you! He rushed towards the scent, squatting down near a discarded cup and the waft of citrus perfume lead him to fumble forward in the trash strewn alley until his fingers closed over what felt like a phone.

He drew back, feeling his way around the object. Definitely a phone. He experimentally turned it on and then used his own phone to ring your number. The other one vibrated in his hand, confirming his worst fears.

You’d been taken.

Now he knew that, the other smells in the alley made more sense. There was a faint tang of blood on the ground and as he crawled forwards, his fingers closed on a knotted clump of hair that, as he put it to his nose, had your brand of shampoo. There was a fight. You’d fought back.

_You brave girl. I swear I’ll find you._

There was no more the alley could tell him, or so he thought. As he walked back towards the main street, his foot caught something that skittered across the ground. He leaned down, picking it up and examining it. Another phone along with…

A Swiss army knife.

He knew this was yours and logic demanded that this phone must have belonged to one of your assailants. The smell of copper told him you’d managed to cut someone so maybe they’d dropped the phone that way.

Either way, not like he could see the detail on it so he’d need a sighted person to help him.

_And I only know one person who knows about my other lifestyle who can help…_

Frank.

 

**

 

“Have you made your decision?” comes the unnervingly soft voice of Fisk as he re-enters.

“I have.”

“And?” he walks towards you.

You almost lose your nerve as you stand toe to toe with him. You barely reach his shoulders and his broadness just eclipses your frame. You knew he could kill you in an instant barehanded.

“I’m still not stepping aside.”

“Unfortunate,” Fisk sighs before grabbing you by the shirt collar and dragging you towards the door.

“Let me go!” you yell, trying to hook your feet onto the door frame but with one good yank, you’re pulled into the Gen Pop area.

You’re lead past hundreds of prisoners who catcall the most awful things to you as Fisk unceremoniously hauls you behind him.

“Pretty little thing, could ruin her nice and good.”

“Check out the ass on that! She wouldn’t sit down for a week once I fuck her sweet cheeks.”

“Reckon she sucks cock good? Oh yeah, she got them cocksucker’s lips.”

“Bet the pussy on that is nice and tight. Barely used, huh? Be like fucking a virgin.”

You try and block it out as you’re pulled towards a gated area with a solitary cell behind it and you’re thrown in, splaying out on the floor with your ass in the air, much to the delight of Gen Pop.

“Nobody is to touch this woman,” Fisk announces to the chorus of disappointed noises. “This one is mine. She is my guest. Respect her.”

Then he turns to you, slamming the cell door shut and locking it with a key he pockets into his prison overalls, “You’ll be sitting this trial out. I hope your pride was worth it.”

“Always,” you spit back.

His huge arm snakes through the bars, grabbing you and pulling you flat against them, banging your already bruised cheek on the cold steel.

“You insolent little girl,” he snarls. “Playing at being the noble hero. This will be your hubris.”

“One day, I’ll say that line back to you,” you growl.

“I do have to admire your passion at least,” Fisk releases you, stepping back. “Passion is rare these days. Sit tight. Your meals will be brought at regular intervals.”

He leaves and you shrink away from the bars, retreating further back into the cell where you grab the sheets off the bunk bed, using them to make a curtain to give you privacy. Too many staring eyes from across the hall.

Then you just sit on the mattress, wondering what the hell to do. No guards would be coming. If Fisk had gotten you into a super max, chances are he has the guards on his payroll.

What you needed right now was Daredevil but how the hell would he even know where to come find you?

 

**

 

Matt found himself back at the centre, Frank sat across from him and he could tell the marine was in a derisive mood, probably thinking Matt was a shit partner to not even notice you were missing for so long.

“What’s happenin’, Red?” Frank leans forward.

“She’s been kidnapped,” Matt launches into it. “I found signs of a struggle. She dropped her phone but also got one of her attackers to drop his.”

He places the cell on the desk.

“I can’t see it so I need your help. I need to know anything about who took her.”

He heard the cell scrape on the table as Frank grabbed for it, clicking at the power button.

“Moron ain’t wiped his phone screen in a while,” Frank snorts. “Can see his passcode pattern. I’m in. There’s messages relating to her, times and dates and what she’s wearing. They been tailing her for a while, Red.”

“Oh no,” Matt feels his stomach drop out. “Anything about who ordered it?”

“Yeah.”

Matt hears the slight grinding of teeth and the pop of the tendon as Frank grits his jaw.

“Well?”

“Wilson Fisk.”

“What?!” Matt stands up. “He’s in prison! How is this possible?!”

“Money talks, Red,” Frank throws the phone back onto the table with a clatter. “Rich guys do well in prison.”

“I have to get her out. Oh god, where the hell do I start?” he thinks out loud.

“Ya don’t,” Frank says gruffly. “Ya let me tank this trial and get put in the same prison. I’ll get her out to you.”

“That’s idiotic. You’ll be a convicted murderer.”

“Worth it to save her, no?” Frank shrugs, the fabric of his jumpsuit rustling. “I ain’t lettin’ Fisk kill her. Don’t care if they gimme the death penalty. This can be my one last good act.”

“Frank, I…”

Matt doesn’t know what to say. The feeling of inferiority next to Frank just grew exponentially. This man was willing to give up his life to save you and Matt should be doing the same. You were important. You were important to  _him_.

“I can wait outside the prison to get her out the rest of the way and far away from Fisk,” Matt nods. “If you really wanna help.”

“Why not. She was the only girl who ever gave a shit 'bout me,” Frank sighs. “Saw past the trauma and the macho man bullshit. I can’t lounge in secure psych knowin’ she’s in trouble. Don’t sit well with me.”

“You’re a good man, Frank.”

“Yeah yeah, don’t get buddy buddy now,” Frank laughs sharply. “This ain’t about you. This is about her. Ya still don’t deserve her.”

“I know but I hope I can change that.”

“Together then?”

“Together and Frank…do whatever you need to to keep her alive.”

“Damn Red, ya must really like the girl to say that. Aintcha all about the code a’ not killin’?”

“Not when it comes to her,” Matt says seriously. “Together. Good luck Frank.”

“You too, Red.”

 

**

 

Two days had passed and you were losing hope.

No one had come for you. There wasn’t even any indication anyone knew you were here.

The nights had been awful and you’d barely slept. Prisoners kept calling out things to you in the dark and your skin was crawling so much. Promises to rape you, promises to hurt you, promises to kill you.

You cried the first night, holding the scraps of the blankets around yourself, trying to keep your sobs from making too much noise. By the second, you were numb to the noise, blocking it out as you read the only source of material in the room, a copy of the Dead Zone by Stephen King.

Fisk didn’t come to see you, preferring to send one lackey to your cell with food and water. You assumed he was the least offensive member of his gang as he never tried to be untoward, or if he was thinking it, the threat of Fisk’s retribution kept him civil.

By the afternoon of the third day, you saw the huge shadow of Fisk, silhouetted in the sheet you’d thrown up for privacy.

“I have news,” you can hear the grin before you even see it.

The bars are swept back as he enters, moving past the sheet until he’s towering over you. He really enjoyed using physical displays of dominance it seemed.

“Appears your faith in your colleague was misguided. Mr Castle will be joining us soon,” he grins. “This was all fruitless.”

“So can I go now?” you stand up. “You got what you wanted.”

“You can go when Mr Castle comes,” Fisk says magnanimously. “I assume you know what will happen if you tell anybody what happened to you?”

“I’ll end up in the river?”

“Nothing quite so old mob style,” Fisk tuts. “But the sentiment is the same. I will kill everyone you care about in front of you. Do you understand?”

“Yes.”

“Good girl. Stay put now.”

“Like I can go anywhere,” you mutter under your breath but Fisk doesn’t hear as he hums some classical melody before leaving.

The despair in your heart was now replaced by burgeoning hope. If Frank was coming, that meant you had an actual chance of getting out. You didn’t trust Fisk on his word to let you go but you knew The Punisher would help you. Frank was a good man and you had an unspoken bond of kinship.

It was just unfortunate that the trial had gone so badly. If you got out, you’d appeal his case immediately.

You found yourself longing for the simpler times when your biggest problem was Matt’s fear of commitment.

_Sometimes I wish you weren’t so mysterious Matt. If you’d of been with me when they came for me, perhaps I could’ve escaped. You’re amazing at fighting after all. Why do you have to be such a coward sometimes? Why can’t you have Frank’s drive and determination to speak your damn mind?_

But it was fruitless to dwell on things like this. After all, there was a good chance you would never get out of here anyway.


	14. Verdict

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Matt and Frank are desperate to get you out but at what cost?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Gore, Attempt Non-Con, PTSD references
> 
> (Possible proof reading errors)
> 
> This is the penultimate chapter!
> 
> Happy reading!  
> \- TLP xx

“He’s in the building,” Fisk says with an air of triumph as he paces in front of your cell. “I dare say we have some business to attend to. All going well, I will let you go soon.”

“Sure about that?” you huff.

“I’m a man of my word,” Fisk graciously puts a hand on his chest. “Mr Castle has to agree to my terms, of course, but after that, we’ll get you out and you can return to your….law firm. As I say, it has been regrettable that you’ve been detained here in the first instance but, it was your choice.”

“May I have some coffee?” you deflect the conversation.

You’d learned that arguing with Fisk was pointless. He was too righteous, too arrogant to consider any other opinion. You’d just taken to playing to his sense of grandeur and upper class ideals.

“You may,” he nods. “I will arrange for it to be brought over along with a fresh change of clothes. I’m glad you’ve accepted your position, young lady. Now, I have a meeting. Goodbye for now.”

He walks away and you just flop back onto the uncomfortable bed.

The second he’s gone, the catcalling and disgusting comments start up again. The other inmates were really ramping it up now they knew you were likely leaving soon. They got even more personal as you pulled the sheet back across to hide you from view.

“Don’t be like that, you fucking bitch. Give us a show!”

“She won’t be such a prude when I’m done with her. Gonna fuck that little stuck up pussy all night long.”

“I’ll just destroy that mouth. Think of her fucking crying whilst she does it. Oh those sweet fucking lubricating tears. Getting hard thinking about it.”

“Think she’d look good with cum all over her and make up runnin’. Oh yes siree, she needs a good fucking to get that attitude outta her.”

You just ignore it, waiting patiently for your coffee which one of Fisk’s flunkies provides about five minutes later along with passing you some regulation sweatpants and a t-shirt. He leaves without ever saying a word.

As you start changing, the wolf whistles start coming because your bare legs are visible under the sheet and your body is silhouetted in the dim light of the cell. You pull everything on as quickly as possible because they start throwing things into the room, trying to knock down the sheet. You get hit with a few bars of soap in the process.

Eventually they get bored and leave you alone as you settle back with your book and the cup of coffee until there’s a bit of a commotion down the hall. You stand up, a little apprehensive before there’s voices.

One is definitely Fisk and the other….sounds like Frank.

The voices get louder until Frank is obviously outside the cell door.

“Are you sure you won’t reconsider?” Fisk asks in that dangerously calm voice.

“Don’t want shit to do with ya,” Frank hisses back. “Here to serve my time. That’s all.”

“Unfortunate. You see, I have someone here you know,” Fisk tuts before reaching through the bars and wrenching the sheet down to show you standing behind it. “This is your lawyer I believe? She was ever so loyal. Stayed here rather than give your case up because she believed in your good nature. What a disappointment you must be that you tanked your own trial. After all of her efforts and you let her down. Not very sporting, Mr Castle.”

You watch as Frank eyes you in alarm before wiping all emotion from his face.

“Why is she still here then? Let her out.”

“No no no,” Fisk wags a finger. “The deal was you had to agree to my deal and she would be let go but sadly you did not. Goodbye both of you. It hasn’t been a pleasure.”

He walks off leaving Frank watching his progress before he turns back, putting his hands through the bars.

“Hey girl, come ‘ere,” he holds his hands out for you.

You rush forward, taking them, “Is he going to keep us here forever?”

“Don’t know but I’m gettin’ ya out,” he squeezes your fingers. “Daredevil found me. We’re workin’ together. Got myself deliberately put here for ya.”

“You idiot,” you hiss. “You sacrificed your freedom for me!”

“Wasn’t gonna leave ya here, fuck,” Frank scowls. “Couldn’t live with myself, girl.”

“Why did Daredevil find you?”

“Knew you were missin’. Came to ask me where you where last.”

“I’m assuming he doesn’t wear the red suit all the time. Do you know who he is?” you pry.

There’s a faint smirk on Frank’s face for a fleeting instant, “Yeah but not my place to say. He’s gotta reveal that to ya in his own time. Enough lip flappin’, let’s work on freein’ ya.”

“I don’t know how. The cells are controlled in the guard room and they’re all in Fisk’s pocket,” you look past Frank’s bulk to the corridor outside.

“Hey man, ya gonna fuck her and give us some free porn?” one of the other inmates shouts out and Frank just turns slowly, his expression livid.

“How 'bout I crack ya head open instead? Ya ain’t gettin’ near this girl without gettin’ past me.”

Klaxons start sounding and the sniggering of the man intensifies along with several other prisoners laughing too. You figure out why very quickly.

The doors to all the cells are opening.

Men start pouring out into the corridor, on the balconies before forming a little semi-circle around you and Frank. Your door was open too but you couldn’t get past the inmates. You were still trapped.

“What was that about getting past you?” a prisoner with a scarred face smiles crookedly.

You watch Frank’s expression recede, the eyes darken and you know he’s going to that dark place in his head. The war was back on for him.

“Give it ya best shot,” Frank growls thickly.

Then they charge him.

 

**

 

Matt perches on top of the adjacent guard tower, two unconscious guards tied up beneath him as he waits.

Was he sure this was a good plan? There was every chance Frank would fail and you’d be stuck in there.

How was he meant to break into a super max by himself? He was good but he wasn’t  _that_  good.

He thought of you, three days in that hellhole all alone and wondering if anyone was going to come rescue you. His heart clenched with the thought of it.

You didn’t deserve all this. He really had ruined your life when he made you that job offer.

Maybe you needed to find another firm to work at. Maybe you needed to get far away from him.

_Maybe she would’ve been better suited to Frank in the first place._

His insecurities were driving him mad sometimes.

What was driving him madder though was this wait. It was agonising watching the seconds tick by as he constantly monitored the doorways.

_Come on Frank, get her out. I’m counting on you._

 

**

You’re stumbling backwards, some prisoners choosing not to run at Frank and dodging around him instead to make a beeline for you.

You grab your coffee mug throwing hot liquid in one of their faces before smashing the cup over another’s head. You’re in full blown panic mode now. You felt like your heart was going to explode out of your chest.

You’re trying to fight the rising scream in your throat, pushing aside the memory of that night you ended up in the ER and focusing on the fact that if you gave into a panic attack, you were going to get raped, or possibly killed….or both.

“Run!” Frank bellows to you, grabbing a makeshift shank out of someone’s hand and puncturing their lung with it. You could hear the wheeze as it made contact.

You grab the chair and fling it at the two men bearing down on you before bursting past, aiming for the cell block gate. You thank God you always wear sensible shoes because if you’d been wearing heels, they definitely would’ve grabbed you as you flashed by.

You reach the gate, looking at the guard and banging on the metal bars.

“Hey! Hey you! Let me out! Please!”

The guard just gives you a shrug before patting his pockets and making a money gesture.

“Have some fucking decency!” you yell, trying to shift the bars yourself.

“Don’t get paid enough to. Sorry sweetheart. Sometimes the boys need a good time to calm down,” the guard replies before turning back to his monitors and switching them all off, eating his sandwich lazily.

“Fuck!” you cry before turning around.

Frank was being swarmed and all you could see was the occasional spurt of blood that coated the stark white walls. You didn’t know how to help.

But not like you didn’t have your own problems. The men you’d assaulted were cornering you, expressions of glee on their faces. You knew you wouldn’t make it out of this one.

“Get here, little lady,” a man with broken teeth grabs you by the arm as the others reach for you, stretching your hands out so you’re in a cross position.

Then a hugely broad and tall man with a scar across his eyebrow looms over you.

“You been teasing us for days, sweet thing. Can’t wait to have you now.”

You struggle hard against your captors but it’s no good. They pin you tightly to the gate, the bars cutting into your back.

The tall man starts yanking your sweatpants down, even though you try and keep your legs together.

_This is it_ , you think.  _I just delayed the inevitable for a few years._

Rough hands touch your thighs and you’re trying not to be sick. In a last ditch effort, you use the other inmates’ stance and jump up, booting the guy hard in the crotch. He drops down onto one knee, winded whilst the others laugh at him.

“She likes it rough Dimo,” one cackles.

“She’s gonna fucking get it rough then,” Dimo balls his fist, getting up and getting ready to hit you.

He never gets the chance to though.

There’s a sickening series of squelches from behind him and Dimo’s eyes go wide before he drops forward and you see Frank, his white jumpsuit stained with blood, his hair matted and that feral breathing just ringing out.

“Shit! He got the rest of them!” one prisoner cries, letting go of you immediately. “I didn’t do nothing! Only held her!”

“Ya gonna die, boy,” Frank growls, brandishing two shanks.

The others release you and you grab your pants, yanking them back up to run past. You watch the bloodbath unfold as Frank takes down every man that comes at him.

You think it’s over but there’s one man sneaking up on him whilst he’s distracted with the last guy, a sharpened toothbrush clutched in his hand.

You panic, grabbing a discarded piece of glass that someone had made into a rectangular shape. Without even thinking, you ran forward, leaping at the man crouching behind Frank and jab it into his neck. He lets out a yell of surprise and you push him over, away from the fight where Frank whirls around, shank at the ready before he hesitates, seconds away from stabbing you in his adrenalin rush.

You’re too busy looking at the inmate dying on the floor though, blood burbling up around the wound.

Fuck, you’d just killed someone. Oh my god, you’d just  _murdered_ someone.

“Hey!” Frank barks at you as you snap your eyes to his, jumping slightly. “Don’t look, girl. Don’t look. Ya look at me, okay? Don’t even fuckin’ think about it.”

“I’m in so much trouble,” you blurt out.

Frank just laughs, “You’re not, 'aight? All these bastards were gonna do bad things to ya. Self defence. Guard don’t even give a shit. You’re alright.”

He grabs you to him and you’re sure he can feel you shaking. You cast one glance to the floor below to see the guy is still, blood pooling under his head.

“Impressive,” comes a voice from the other side of the gate.

It was Fisk, his eyes twinkling and a sharp grin on his face.

“Not goin’ down that easy,” Frank growls back.

“So I see. I have to admit, I thought you would be subdued and they would just teach your friend there a lesson about choosing the wrong side but I gather now that you’re made of a sterner stuff, Mr Castle….apparently you also, young lady. I didn’t take you for a killer.”

“You made her into one!” Frank looks outraged.

“Curious how the human mind works in times of life or death,” Fisk notes. “I tell you what. I’ll let her go but you stay. How about that?”

“Fine.”

“No!” you cry, looking at him in horror. “I’m not leaving you to rot in here!”

Frank just hugs you, whispering in your ear, “Don’t worry 'bout nothin’, darlin’. Red is waitin’ for ya outside. I gotta get ya to him. He promised he’d bust me out too later.”

“What if they kill you first?”

“If a whole cell block can’t, I’ll be fine,” he kisses the top of your head before turning back to Fisk. “I accept.”

“Wise choice,” Fisk opens the gate. “You stay there. Miss, come with me.”

“No dice,” Frank shakes his head. “I gotta physically see her get out.”

“Nothing escapes you, does it, Mr Castle?” Fisk’s mouth twitches. “Very well. Let’s go.”

You’re lead out, your clothes still stained with blood as you were almost frogmarched to a nearby door where a guard stood, surveying the little party with casual interest.

“This woman appears to have gotten lost,” Fisk hands over a crisp note. “See she gets out safely.”

“Sure thing, Kingpin,” the guard nods, opening the door and ushering you outside.

You turn to look at Frank who just gives you a sad little smile. You don’t want to leave him. He just saved your life. He just deliberately ruined his own to do so.

“Go on, girl. I’ll be 'aight,” he waves you off.

You walk back to him, throwing your arms around him and squeezing tightly, “Don’t you dare die before we can get you out. Do you hear me?”

“Yes Ma'am,” he chuckles.

You give him a kiss on the part of his cheek that isn’t blood stained before moving away and following the guard.

Once outside, the guard just leads you into the yard before passing through a checkpoint that’s barred by a steel door. Then…you’re on the other side, the visitors side.

“Off you go,” the guard points to the entrance way. “I wouldn’t recommend coming back here.”

“I didn’t have a choice,” you hiss.

“Oh and uh, Fisk wanted me to mention that if you tell anyone about the bribery things here, he’ll have someone visit you in the night. Goes without saying, right?”

You don’t reply. You’ve had enough of being threatened today and you’re traumatised enough.

You walk with purpose, going for the entry point until you hear the guard yell, “Put that weapon down!”

You turn around in bemusement, expecting to see someone else trying to make a bid for freedom but the guard has a gun trained on  _you_. You immediately throw your hands up, terrified he’s going to shoot.

“I have no weapon!” you shout loudly. “I have no weapon! My hands are up!”

“PUT DOWN THE WEAPON OR I’LL SHOOT!”

Fisk had set you up. He never intended for you to get away. The guard was going to shoot you then plant evidence on you, presumably making up some story that you’d tried to free Frank.

“I HAVE NO WEAPON!” you scream equally as loudly.

“STOP RESISTING!”

“I’M CO-OPERATING! I’M CO-OPERATING!”

Fuck!

A shot rings out but it misses wildly as Daredevil leaps on the guard from a high point, knocking him to the ground.

You’ve never seen Daredevil this violent before. He’s grabbed the baton from the guard’s belt and is beating him senseless with it. Usually you’ve only seen him just incapacitate people but he seems like he really wants to do some damage.

“Hey!” you call out and he turns around. “Leave it! Let’s go!”

Daredevil takes one hesitant look at the man on the ground, baton raised and you think he’ll do a final swing at him but he doesn’t. He just drops it before running over to you.

“Stick close, do what I say,” he hurriedly rushes you towards the wall of the prison where there’s a rope with strategic knots on it. “Climb that.”

“I’m not good at climbing.”

“You’re gonna have to be, sweetheart. Get going.”

You grab the rope, using the knots to steady yourself as you desperately scrambled, nearly losing your footing several times. The cord was burning your hands and your fear was making your palms slippery but you kept going through sheer will.

When you reached the top, you rolled onto the concrete, trying to catch your breath but once Daredevil got up, he yanked you to your feet.

“Can’t stay here. Gotta keep going.”

He pulled you along the wall until you hit one of the guard towers before there was another rope leading to the ground outside. Wordlessly you started descending, halfway down until alarms started ringing and in your shock, you let go of the rope, flailing before you fell the last few feet, knocking the wind out of yourself as you hit the rocky ground outside.

A thud and then Daredevil was right with you.

“Are you okay?!” he says in concern as he can hear your wheezing. “Shit.”

He picks you up, hoisting you across his shoulders before making a run for it towards the shoreline of Riker’s Island, as you’ve come to realise that’s where you were.

There’s a car waiting for you and you’re pushed into it, Daredevil flinging himself in after.

“Drive!” he says to the woman in the front seat.

“Okay! No need to be an asshole!” Karen frowns before flooring the gas, speeding past the barriers before winding down different roads, trying to throw off anyone who might be following. “Ace, are you okay?”

“No,” you catch her gaze in the rear view and you must have looked a sight because she winces slightly.

“Shit,” she sighs, taking a few more backalleys.

“You know Daredevil?” you try and distract yourself.

“Saved me a couple of times,” Karen nods. “Matt said you had gone missing. We’ve been trying to find you. I never thought Fisk would try something that dirty, not for Frank.”

“I hope he’s alright,” you look behind you, in the general direction of Riker’s Island.

“He’ll be fine,” Daredevil nods. “I’ll go back for him soon. First we need to get you to somewhere safe. Karen, stop here.”

“Oh sure,” she parks up.

“Thank you for your help,” Daredevil says before turning to you. “We need to take the rooftops. Karen is going to ditch the car.”

“This feels like a bad dream,” you murmur, more to yourself than anything. “I’m going to wake up and it’ll be Monday and Foggy will have brought donut holes and Karen will give some amazing insult to him and Matt will just laugh somewhere from in his office……”

You jolt as Karen unclips her seatbelt and turns around, grabbing your hand and squeezing it, “It’ll be alright, trust me. Daredevil will keep you safe. I know we got off on the wrong foot to start with but I’m glad you’re okay.”

“Thank you for rescuing me,” you meet her eyes.

“Go,” she smiles warmly.

You get out before you’re lead up a fire escape and once at the top of the building, Daredevil uses some nearby planks to create a bridge to the next roof. Gallantly he helps you across and repeats the process a few times until he finally stops.

“We’ll rest for a bit,” he announces.

“I…I need a change of clothes,” you look down at your bloodstained prison skivvies as Daredevil grits his jaw.

“Are you injured?”

“No, it’s not mine. I….had to do something. I….” you start crying a little, not a full on sob but the tears just leak from the corners of your eyes despite you feeling numb.

“Hey hey, it’s not your fault,” Daredevil grabs you, pulling you into an embrace. “It’s not your fault.”

“They…they were trying to pull my pants down and-”

“Shhh, it’s okay. I’ve got you now,” he holds you tighter. “You’re out. They can’t hurt you. I’m gonna keep you safe, I promise.”

“Thank you,” you manage to get out. “Thanks for coming for me.”

“Always.”

You reach up, catching him off guard as you take his chin before kissing him quickly on the lips. The adrenalin is doing funny things to your head because you thought it was a good idea to try and do something normal, something you actually had control of.

He smiles and he actually full on smiles this time.

Usually he only does a tight lipped one or a half smirk but this is an affectionate grin and you tense up because you  _know_  that smile.

Everything starts slotting into place in your brain. The reason he was outside your apartment all the time, the reason he was so insistent that Frank leave you alone, the reason you could vaguely place the gruffer voice but not quite, the reason why when he kissed you it tasted of gingerbread.

“What’s wrong?” he asks, feeling you tense up.

“I think we need to talk,” you look directly up at him.

“Not really the time.”

“Stop. I know it’s you.”

“Stop what?”

“Why did you lie to me?”

“I don’t know what you mean,” he shakes his head but you can feel his body coiling and you knew you were onto something.

“Daredevil…can we talk about the fact that you’re Matt?”


	15. Sentencing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You've guessed Matt's biggest secret

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Angst
> 
> (Possible proof reading errors)
> 
> So this is the final chapter guys! Thanks for joining me on this journey and hope you enjoyed it!
> 
> \- TLP xx

Matt’s heart just about stopped.

“What are you talking about?” he feigns ignorance but he knows the game is up.

He can sense your little snort of derision, the rustle of your arms as you folded them, the little impatient tap of your foot. You didn’t believe his bullshit one bit.

“Are we really going to do this after I spent three days in that hellhole? The least you can do is not lie to me.”

You sounded so weary, so done. Matt knew you’d faced horrors at the hands of Wilson Fisk and maybe now was the time to get it all out into the open. You needed to know why this was happening to you.

“Alright,” he hangs his head, dropping the gruffer tone. “Yeah, it’s me.”

You thump him in the chest. He knew it was coming and he could’ve easily dodged it but he deserved that. In fact, he deserved more than that.

“You ass!” you cry. “Why did you keep this from me?!”

“I-”

But you don’t let him finish. You just keep verbally spewing your discontent with him.

“All those times you disappeared and had me worried sick about you and worried that I’d done something wrong and you were three floors above me on the fucking roof!”

“I’m sorry, I-”

“I’m not done!” he can sense you waving your finger through the air.

Despite the situation, Matt can’t help but smile. He’d never really seen this assertive side to you much beyond the courtroom.

_Totally inappropriate, Matty. Take your chastising like a man and maybe she won’t want to ignore you forever after this….maybe._

“I put myself in harm’s way because  _you_  disappeared to get Daredevil…which is fucking  _you_! And you had the balls to get annoyed at  _me_!”

“To be fair it was a dumb plan,” Matt can’t help but interject.

“I would never have done it if you hadn’t messed me around so much I caught feelings for you,” you’re almost growling now.

“Wait…you have feelings for me?”

Hearing it out in the open was a double edged sword. On the one hand, he was so happy to know you had some modicum of emotion towards him other than just the grey area between friend and girlfriend. On the other, he may have just ruined those feelings.

“YES YOU IDIOT!” you yell so loudly that Matt winces with the volume.

“I thought….I thought Frank….”

“WHAT?!” the volume continues. “Wait a fucking second, are you telling me you thought I wanted to be with Frank and that’s why you were so cagey with me?”

“That day I invited you over for food. I was scared I was losing you to him. You seemed to get along so well and he’s more open about what he feels than I am…I just…”

“What happened that day?” your voice softens as you hear the slight hitch in his. “I came to your place but you’d abandoned all the cooking.”

“Remember that church I took you to? There were robbers trying to hold the Father hostage for the gold on the altar. I hated that I had to leave but I couldn’t let him get hurt. He’s been so good to me. I just had to hope you might understand but I never got a chance to tell you.”

“Jesus Christ,” you sigh. “I’ll be honest, I don’t know what to think after all of this.”

“I know,” Matt says quietly. “I don’t deserve any of your attention, maybe not even your friendship. I lied. When I came to your place after that beating I was so close to telling you but I blew it. I was terrified you wouldn’t want me. My life is dangerous, sweetheart. It’s dangerous and it’s lonely and for one minute I thought I could have it all.”

“You could’ve if you’d been honest with me from the start. You think I give a rat’s ass you’re a vigilante?” you’re scowling, he can hear the micro-movements of your brow creasing up. “I told you my opinion on Frank’s activities, why would your double life be any different?”

“Uh….” he didn’t have a good answer for that.

It was now he was realising very rapidly what a dick he’d been. He’d assumed your reaction and based his own on that. He never considered you might actually be accepting. Automatically he’d put the barriers up and that’s why this whole mess had happened in the first place.

“Exactly,” you prod him in the chest.

“Can we talk? Air this all out? Would that be okay?” he ventures.

“Yes, but after you help Frank,” you say sternly. “That man risked his life to save me. He killed about twenty men who wanted nothing more than to rip my clothes off and use me as a personal playtoy. You owe him.”

“I know I do,” Matt says solemnly.

“But after that, meet me at my apartment.”

“Will you be safe?”

“I don’t know. I don’t know what’s coming after me, Matt.  _Am_  I safe?”

“I’ll make sure you are.”

That determined promise hung in the air with such weight that nobody spoke for a while. Then you reached out, squeezing his hand.

“Come back safe. I’m not done chewing you out yet.”

“Wouldn’t miss it for the world,” he smirks a little. “Lock the doors and barricade them until I come back. I’ll knock five times when I return.”

Then he set off across the rooftops, a singular purpose in mind.

Free Frank.

 

**

 

“Kinda thought ya weren’t gonna come,” Frank laughs as he steers the speedboat away towards the docks on the other side of Riker’s Island. “Wouldn’t blame ya. Not easy goin’ into a super max for one lousy degenerate like me.”

“You saved her. I wasn’t going to let Fisk keep you there,” Matt replies firmly.

“She okay?”

“Uh…I think she’s extremely angry at me.”

“Oh?” he can hear the unspoken question in Frank’s voice.

“She guessed who I was.”

“About time,” Frank snorts. “Was gonna question her smarts if she didn’t get it soon.”

“I think wilful denial plays a great part in it,” Matt argues your case. “You don’t expect your boss to be a vigilante.”

“Ah fair,” Frank concedes. “So she got a fire under her ass, huh?”

“I’ve never seen her that mad,” Matt almost whispers. “I really screwed things up.”

“Yeah,” Frank says bluntly. “Ya did.”

“What if she doesn’t want me any more?”

Matt voiced his biggest fear, not caring that it was Frank of all people he was speaking to. He was done bottling things up inside because look where that had gotten him?

“Then ya move on,” Frank grunts. “Girl’s been through enough. She don’t want ya, leave her in peace.”

“I just-”

Then Frank grabs Matt by the scruff of his outfit, “Leave. Her. You didn’t see what happened to her in there, Red. Wasn’t a fuckin’ cake walk for her. She says no, you steer clear. Got it?”

There was a silent threat hanging there. Frank was definitely protective over you and he would make sure Matt didn’t overstep his boundaries. Not that Matt was planning to.

“You’re really fond of her, aren’t you?” Matt can’t help but say.

“Yeah. She was nice to me when no one else was. She bothered to fuckin’ talk to me like a human. Ain’t never gonna forget that kindness, Red. So don’t fuck it up.”

They’d neared the port, neatly tucking into the harbour where Matt was grateful to be on solid land again. The whirr of the motor and the choppiness of the waves had really disorientated him a lot.

“This is where I say goodbye,” there’s movement as Frank holds out his hand.

Matt takes it, “Anything you want me to pass on to her?”

“Yeah, yeah. Tell her I’ll be around if she needs me n’ thank her for everythin’. One day I hope we can talk as friends without an interview desk ‘tween us.”

“Good luck Frank.”

“See ya 'round, Red.”

 

**

 

You’d been pacing in your apartment, after pushing the couch against the door, for the past few hours.

You didn’t know whether to be absolutely furious with Matt that he’d lied to you or relieved that it wasn’t because of something you were doing or that Matt was just distant and unavailable. A lot of things had slotted into place about his absences and mysterious bruises…even the way he fought off your mugger.

Now he was attempting to break Frank out of Riker’s Island and you had no idea whether he’d be okay.

Surprisingly you found you still cared about him and his wellbeing.

After another hour of you wearing a groove into the carpet, five knocks came at your door and you had to drag the couch back to its original position, moving your coffee table back too before finally opening the door.

He’s standing there, still in his suit with the eerie helmet and he almost looks shy. He’s nervously twisting his fingers together.

“May I come in?” he asks.

“You may,” you step back to let him in.

He takes a few paces forward before dragging his mask off and you see the fluffy crop of brown hair almost plastered to his head. He must have been seriously fighting earlier.

“I’m just gonna go right ahead and explain,” he laughs awkwardly. “So you know I wasn’t always blind. When I had the accident, my senses heightened to far more than a normal blind person’s. After my dad died I went into training and I ended up doing vigilante work because sometimes the justice system just fails people. I didn’t want it to fail them like it had me. This life though, it’s hard. This is why it didn’t work with Karen because I was always unavailable, always pushing her away because I was scared of anybody knowing who I am.”

“So why would I be any different?” you fold your arms.

“Because you’re not Karen,” he answers simply. “You have the most patience I’ve ever known in a person and selfishly I thought that would mean I could live my double life without consequences but I see that was horrendously wrong. You got dragged into my world and me keeping Daredevil secret from you was a hindrance. You weren’t prepared for anything. I put you in harm’s way and you put  _yourself_  in harm’s way and I can never forgive myself that that happened.”

He breaks off and you can see he’s getting emotional. You don’t know whether to speak or let him continue venting.

“God I was so scared when you went missing. I even ended up threatening Frank to try and find where you were. It’s all my fault you ended up in that place with those awful people. Fisk would-”

“Fisk didn’t kidnap me because of Daredevil,” you interrupt. “He did it to get Frank in the prison and he did it because he hates you, he hates Matt Murdock. He would’ve taken me anyway.”

“It’s not the point though, sweetheart,” Matt sighs, his eyes casting to the ceiling where they stay there. “I’m dangerous and this is why I should be alone.”

“So I get no say in this?” you sass. “Matt Murdock decides what emotions I have again?”

“Damn it, you’re right. I’m sorry. I’m so nervous about this whole thing I’m automatically closing off again.”

“Ask me how I feel.”

“How….how do you feel?”

“You’re a world class dumbass,” you reply bluntly. “I wish you would’ve trusted me and been honest from the start. You’ll never know how I would’ve handled it now.”

“I know, I know. I’m sorry I ruined your life. I’ll understand if you want to move to a different firm. I’ll giving you glowing recommendations.”

“Move?” you blink. “Why would I want to move?”

“Because….I lied? Because you don’t wanna be near me? You’re shifting your feet back. I can hear them.”

“I’m just reaching for a drink. Yelling at you is thirsty work,” you purposefully rap your nails on the glass as you grab it. “Stop being so paranoid. No I don’t want to move. I want you to promise me you’ll never lie to me again.”

“That I can do wholeheartedly,” he says earnestly, chewing his lip like he’s waiting for your response.

“I can understand the need to help people. I’m not morally blind. I’m willing to let this start over with full knowledge that you lead another life outside of Nelson & Murdock. This is on the condition that you don’t hide things from me and you confide in me because God knows you look like you’ve never offloaded about this to any one with the way you’re standing.”

Matt laughs, his face visibly relaxing, “No. No I haven’t. Father Lantom’s okay and all but he doesn’t get why I do this. Are you really sure you want to give me another chance? This other side to me, it sees some awful things and-”

You move forward, wrapping him in your arms and he flounders for a second before hugging you back, gripping tightly like he’s trying to restrain his emotions.

“I don’t want you to get hurt,” he finishes shakily. “That’s the last thing I want.”

“Let me make that choice. If I’m willing to get some gangbangers real mad then I clearly have no issues with danger.”

You lean back and for a brief moment you feel like he’s looking directly at you until his eyes flit to the side.

“You’re definitely blind right, by the way?” you ask and he bursts into laughter, the tension breaking.

“Yes I’m one hundred per cent blind,” he grins that charming smile. “And I would like to start afresh with you if you wouldn’t mind. Hi, I’m Matt and I’m also Daredevil. Is that okay?”

“Does it mean I get to see you in this suit more because I mean…a girl has needs,” you joke and his eyes sparkle with warmth.

“You really are precious to me, you know,” his hand comes up to stroke your cheek. “I’m so glad you’re alright. I-”

But you’ve had enough of his self-flagellating talk. You knew Matt Murdock would talk for hours about his guilt if you let him.

Right now you were just happy you were safe, Frank was safe and that you finally had a reason for Matt being distant.

You lean forward, kissing him and he instantly shuts up, savouring the contact. His arms wrap around you tighter, desperate for contact.

“So our office dynamic is forever ruined now,” he smiles, pressing his forehead to yours.

“I’m okay with that.”

“There’s one more thing I need to tell you though.”

He doesn’t seem like he’s about to tell you bad news. He just pecks your cheek lightly before pulling back a little.

“Well go on,” you prompt.

“No more secrets. I promised if I got you out I’d tell you who I was…although you were smart enough to figure it out before I could….I also promised I’d tell you how I feel. I’m not great with romantic feelings at all because I’m usually so scared of things going wrong but I need to be brave so here it it. I love you.”

“I’m proud of you,” you smile. “This is a good start. For what it’s worth, you’re very much under my skin too.”

“Well that’s good to know,” comes the smirk. “So….I think I still owe you dinner. Restaurant?”

“Once you change, yeah,” you laugh.

 

**

 

That night Matt tries to give you the most normal date he could.

He dressed up, he brought flowers, he encouraged you to pick lots from the menu and he just opened up fully about his other life.

It was refreshing to get it all out there, cathartic even. He didn’t realise how much tension he’d been carrying around with him until he caught himself physically relaxing.

In turn, he watched you like a hawk, afraid at any moment you might break down about what had happened in Riker’s Island but apart from a solitary flinch when the waiter was directly behind you, you seemed to be taking it well. You really did amaze him sometimes.

He took you back to his apartment, made you a stiff drink and sat with you on the couch, draping his arm around you like a teenager would do. In truth, he felt extremely young and nervous doing this. Actually dating, dating when someone knows the truth of who you are is a humbling experience.

“What are you thinking about?” you ask and he realises he’s probably been zoning out for the last few minutes.

“That it feels good to talk,” he sighs contentedly, kissing the top of your head. “And I’m really happy I didn’t push you away.”

“You need to trust people more sometimes,” you say wisely. “No one can do what you do all by themselves. That’s a recipe for ending up in a mental health clinic.”

“Maybe I need to,” Matt snorts. “Lawyer by day, vigilante by night, Catholic guilt complex was it you said? Yeah, I’m a regular catch all right. Why do you like me again?”

“Hmmm I don’t know,” you tease, and he hears you tap your chin in thought. “Can’t be the fact you stole some of my dessert”

“Well, get faster in stopping me then,” he laughs. “I’m working a disadvantage of sight here.”

“Not really a disadvantage when you can probably tell what my heart rate is right now.”

“Quite fast,” Matt listens with his head cocked to one side. “Are you anxious?”

“A little.”

“Why?”

“I kinda want to drag you into that bedroom but I’m also afraid I’ll have a flashback during.”

You’re chewing your lip now and Matt just squeezes you into him tightly.

“Whatever you want to do. If you do have problems, there’s no issue in stopping, sweetheart. You’ve been there for me, I’ll be there for you.”

There was a little huff that he took to mean determination before you stood up, leaning down to take his arm and you lead him with purpose into the other room.

Matt felt like the luckiest man in the world at that point.

 

**

 

Stroking your body with the thin silk sheet twisted around your silhouette, Matt was radiating with happiness.

He’d just pulled the last of his Daredevil outfit on when you made a contented purr and he assumed you’d opened your eyes.

“Work calls?” you ask.

“Unfortunately I don’t get vacation hours,” he laughs. “I won’t be too long.”

“Come back safe,” you reach out for him, squeezing his arm. “And tell me everything when you get back too.”

“You know what?” Matt says as he pulls on the helmet. “I think I will.”

He leans down, kissing you softly, stroking your cheek gently.

“Goodbye sweetheart.”

“I love you,” you mumble back in your sleepy haze.

Matt’s face breaks out into the widest smile. Hearing you say it for the first time was everything he ever thought it would be.

A new chapter of his life was beginning, one where he didn’t have to hide or lie any more and you know what, it felt pretty damn good.

“I love you too. You have no idea how much.”

And then he vanished out of the window into the cool air of Hell’s Kitchen.


End file.
